I am 28 and never had a real girlfriend. When I meet a woman now, me and her will not have that sweet sentiment of knowing each other when we were young. I think that makes the relationship so much sweeter and something to help hold it together stronger. I don't know. Me and a woman can never say we have those roots of being close when we were young.
I think you definitely know each other better as you grow up together and obviously we all heard the saying that “there is nothing half so sweet in the world as love’s young dream.” And yeah it does seem people love deeper and fight harder for their first love or young love whereas once that’s gone people don’t love with that intensity anymore. You only really have one true love in life and sometimes people find that later in life and probably you’ll feel like a teenager again when it does happen.
It’s more important you don’t have many meaningless relationships and flings to have a healthy relationship when you finally get into one. I think it’s fine to be single until you’re in your late 20s/early 30s because you probably don’t want to settle for something you’re not actually that into. Get into it when you genuinely love the person and can’t imagine life without them. I mean you may not be 18 anymore but you’re still young and younger than you’ll ever be again. You’re still at the bloom of youth and trust me once youth is gone it never returns so don’t waste your youth away regretting things that cannot be controlled.
Cease the day my friend. Nobody has guaranteed us tomorrow. We need to make out life special.
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I think there's pros and cons to both. I didn't get a chance to do that for whatever reason. But yeah, I've thought about that stuff before. However, it's not like I could have CONTROLLED who would be attracted to me and who wouldn't! Who would have had the "guts" to date me and who wouldn't! Who would have the guts to ask me out, date me, marry me, etc etc. but you get my point. It takes TWO willing people to have a relationship. Even now. My point is that it's not always good to dwell on the past, especially something you had really no control over. In an alternate universe (or an ideal situation), my ex wouldn't have been married already and especially had a child before me, but he did and that was one of the reasons our relationship was trecherous! Same thing applies here. Can you really have controlled EVERYTHING in your past? ! Not me, not you, not my ex (he didn't even know I exsisted), so you just make the best of the present and future! Good luck.
I used to believe the same thing, but I kinda don't think that really matters in meeting right person. Reason being that people change as they grow, so how you knew someone from your early years can change in their later years, for good or bad. And maybe you don't like that anymore.
I get your point about not being able to share a history together from youth, but people meet people all the time who don't have that same shared history, and they still enjoy the bond and memories they develop together now and moving forward. Think about divorced husbands and wives who meet new partners that they have no lifelong history with, but still end up creating a great relationship. Sometimes these relationships are even better because the two people are mature and have seen a lot of life and value the seriousness of a loving relationship.
Not everybody will have a high-school yearbook romance to carry with them all through their lives.
I think so, yes. Personally, I'd want to marry someone whom I'd met and was friends with in my younger days as a teenager as well, and preferably have had some sweet memories with them to share and reminisce over when we're both older.
That's why a lot of marriages that I've seen and known fall apart over the years where I live. The husband and wife have no friendly connection between one another and hence, there's no love either. There's this weird awkward energy between the two. And I've seen it all too many times to know when to steer clear off of that. So yes. If I don't know her, or have known her personally for at least a year or two, it's a no for me.
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I think so yes. I met my husband when we were 16 and we have basically grown up into adulthood together so all our memories (good and bad) are with each other. That seems to make our bond stronger.
I can't even imagine what it would be like to date later on in life. Must be kind of awkward like you'd never get to know the real them since people change over time. Like I like knowing everything about my partner and that just seems impossible to do if dating when older.
------------Look at it like this... When you are both 50 you will have known each other when you were young just a different young. It's really no difference depending on how long you stay together.
Not really. When we're young, we make all kinds of stupid mistakes lol. We also don't really know who we are. I'm definitely NOT the same person now that I was 10 or 20 years ago. Sometimes, we might meet the person who COULD be the right person but we're just too young to make things work. The negative life experiences from our younger years really help us understand how to recognize the right person when we find them and appreciate them for things we might have overlooked when we were younger.
I've probably had better relationships with people I didn't know before, over people I knew before we got together.. you can sometimes be too close to people you know and it goes past the stage where a relationship could have taken place - for me anyway. I'd rather get to know someone as part of developing something!
In my case yes I wish my lady and I met when we were younger, she’s Asian and when she came to Canadashe was 17 and forced to marry a guy 8 years older than her , her marriage was loveless and her husband was abusive, she got out of the marriage after having 3 children, she raised them on her own, if I met her when I was in high school she would’ve never got abused, I love her so much and feel like I’m the luckiest man
Because your younger self has not yet become your true self…. Whilst the thought of being with someone from a teen until you die is a romantic thought…. It’s rare and highly unlikely… I believe most couples whose relationships that start in their teens and then break up say in their late twenties would say they wish they’d met later
It doesn't really make a difference to know your partner / spouse since youth. But the reality is, as you get older , your chances of meeting someone decreases. It doesn't mean its impossible to find someone when you're old, but your best prospects are when you're under 40.
if both of you are each other's first partner, and that you build memories together, that will be the same as if you shared your childhood together. It could also be the equivalent if you have similar childhood stories. The fact that the two of you will be older means you will have more maturity, and more willingness to appreciate the memories that you build together.
I don't know. My wife and I practically tripped over each other our whole lives and did not really meet until we were 24. If we could have met earlier it would have spared me a lot of heartache but if I didn't date all those others I would not have the same appreciation that I have now.
I feel bad for anyone who knew me when I was young (12-18). I was unstable, didn’t know how to control myself and I was self destructive. I feel like I am my true self now as an adult and have much more control and stability. So I’m glad my partner didn’t know me when I was a teen 😅
Yes, because it gives time for building a friendship first.
Many adults lack the free time for hobbies and other fun activities, but those things are needed, you have to compare yours with the other person's to know if you are mentality compatible.
If as an adult, you have plenty of free time for hobbies, and you view a partner as your friend (and not a utility/asset), then it's no different.I never was attracted to any of my childhood friends. At the same time, I was not the nicest person to grow up with either. I had moved in the middle of High School, where I was happy to make a fresh start. I guess it really depends on what your social relationships were like.
No. My boyfriend and I wouldn’t get along had we met when we were young. We were both little assholes back then and would probably just end up hating each other if we started linking up at a young age. I’m glad we met as adults, and after we’ve had time to mature and better ourselves.
My mom and dad lived on the same street and my dad would always see her riding her bike outside. Granted my mom was a teenager and my dad was in his 20's though later when he was in his 30's and my mom in her 20's, they started dating. I can't imagine what would have happened if they never dated when they were both young and adults.
Maybe. But most people seem to want to date strangers.
Personally, I'm open to either scenario. Unfortunately, most of the girls I knew as a kid wouldn't want to date me because I wasn't popular back then. I would probably be bad for their image. Since I wasn't one of the "cool" ones.If you get together later, you're on an accelerated timescale.
You need to get to know them in a shorter time period and decide they're a keeper, then there's all the logistical and financial integration before it's time for babies.
As regards past memories, it's nice that she knows so much about my past but most people make new memories at a time when they are more serious and together.
I think it helps with trusting them. I didn't have much success with women in my younger years. But now in my 40's I'm established and am financially successful. And now these women come out of the woodwork that wouldn't even talk to me before... awfully convenient.
Yes but you have it wrong. Its better when you know HER when she's young. Your age is irrelevant. When I was younger I had a high school sweetheart. Then as an older man I've dated a few 18 yo girls. It feels the same! Watching them and knowing them as they finish growing up and being there for them. Super important and it's a very beautiful thing.
It's true that there is something undeniably sweet in going WAY back with your partner. I know I sometimes think about how cool it would've been to have stayed with my high school girlfriend. On the other hand you can still date a girl in her early 20s, so that's a huge benefit of your current situation.
But regardless man--if you're 28 and never had a real girlfriend, you should make it a priority to fix that.
Yes and no. You will have more stories for sure. But most people are much different in their teens vs late 20s or older. We tend to remember how people are when we first met them.
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