How should I approach girls (really bad case)?

[guapallovermykb]

hello everyone, im an 18 years old guy and my socializing skills are extremely bad.

I've been isolating my self for the past 4 years, started being depressed about me not being able to get certain things done, been doing drugs and tried to overdose on high amounts of xanax and alcohol a few times. now my parents look at me like im a degenerate (which i probably am at this point).

the overdose attempts were almost always because of feeling guilty, madness, feeling alone and a failure overall.

the only two times i dated a girl i just couldnt handle it, not that i would be a crazy mf, but i just wouldn't know what to say, like a few sentences and that would be it, she tried to keep the convo up but i just wasn't able to. the feeling i had everytime i got back home from these dates was just sadness and feeling worried about what she wouldve thought about this.

I've had a few other similar situations at school, i had two crushes, and they actually looked to be interested in me, one of them was really flirty with me, the other even told me she liked me in a stealthy way, but once again i couldnt handle it, i was afraid that i misunderstood something. And even if a girl is flirty with me, what should i say? i just dont get it, i feel like i cringe my self for anything that comes out of my mouth in these situations. i just wish i could fix my self.

how do i look? im 1.95cm (6.4 i believe in feet) tall, blonde hair (mid/long), skinny

what are my interests? i love software development, but guess what! i can't even do that now because everything i create i just think is dogsh*t if its not perfect, i dont even have patience with my self! what a wonderful life. (everythings in my head but i can't produce it)

insecurities? i need to remove a few scars because of the acne i had, i have no friends.

sorry for the long "additional details", i tried to synthesize this whole thing a few times, this is the best i couldve done.

any advice is fine, thank y'all.

[Avicenna]

TBH, I don't think you're ready to approach them with romantic interest in mind. You seem to have some anxiety about romantic relationships that needs to be overcome first.

Are you comfortable with being friends with them?

[guapallovermykb]

yeah im fine with that, I've had a couple of female friends, which were my class mates, the one i dated was also one of them, but i just dont know how to either get it a step further eventually if i feel something on both sides, but with my "isolation" i lost contact with anyone and everything, and i dont know how to "rebuild" this.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, you can't expect yourself to be completely smooth and comfortable without some positive experiences. How badly do you want a girlfriend?

[guapallovermykb]

well, its not like if i dont get a girlfriend i will off my self, i would just like to have someone to share my time with (stop being alone at least), someone i can talk to and maybe give a hug, thats everything. i dont really know what a relationship is, but thats how i see it?
but at the same time i feel like im a boring type of person, im not really funny (i try to sometimes), and there aren't really many subjects you could talk about with a person like me.
lets say someone links up with me, if its one of my online friends, i would be just playing videogames with them chilling on discord and maybe saying stupid things/jokes (feeling zero anxiety, i would be actually laughing all the time).
but if its a girl, and real person standing in the front of me, and i like something about her, i end up pretty much being silent all time afraid to fk up something.

[imkris]

so... you seem attractive from the description you gave except the acne scars which aren't actually bad if you only have a few... Maybe you should try getting into sports... And quit the drugs. also try getting a short Shaggy haircut girls love that but you have to buildup confidence my dude. hope that helped!!

[guapallovermykb]

thank you!

[18Uma21]

When a girl approaches to you immediately let them know that you don't really like talking and you're not that talkative. And when you approach to them do the same.
First allow girls to understand you

[guapallovermykb]

sorry, but what do you mean by letting them know that i dont really like talking? you mean stuff like short sentences, affermations, straight to the point type of thing and goodbye?

[Iron_Man]

I hope you’ve gotten past all of that. Why don’t you go to college it’s more easy for people your age to meet girls

[guapallovermykb]

well, id like to go to collage if i make it out of high school, i failed class 2 times because of me skipping school ahah

[Iron_Man]

Work hard my friend you can do well

[Guy13]

Go for it ‼️