I have only dated one person and neither one of us were ready and we should not have been together in the first place. I think it would be nice to wake up to hugs and kisses and get a kiss on the forehead when I sleep and an arm around me when I sit in a chair. I don't get affection from my parents or my friends. My cousin is affectionate but she is also annoying.
I think you got to be practical in both spheres. I was with a girl for years who I absolutely adored even though she was terrible at handling money and had a very low earning potential. I loved her when she was thin, when she got fat, when she got pregnant, when her big boobs got sagged, when she'd run up £thousands in debts, bought crap we didn't need, even when she wouldn't cook or clean no matter what I loved her but what I got in return for that love was betrayal from a woman who believed I was responsible for all her failings and that I was a lover because I couldn't give her the grand lifestyle of her dreams. So for a year she cheated behind my back with a window cleaner and acted suspiciously, stating out late after her nightclub job, even got her sexting the guy denied it and said it was a friend, she was often picking our child up 3or4 hours late from my mother after her school job told lies about overtime, then in the summer when my parents were away on holiday for a few months she was actually taking our 3 year old kid to this creep's house to cheat on me. She only admitted she was cheating when I caught her in a carpark with this guy after staying out all night and her car battery was low, still denied it but had to admit to cheating a week later when she caught an STD. Then after I left her it turned out she was abusing our child, after a explaining to her that I wasn't coming back because of what she did she got mad at our 3 year old and started beating on him when he threw her phone because the YouTube video went off, she was kicking him on the ground and even after I pulled her off him she was still going for him lashing out and even after I tried to comfort him. Social services were involved by me and she admitted it caught like a deer in thd headlights when they came to the door and she was only allowed custody under supervision of her parents and had to live with them for a year and wasn't allowed to to be left unsupervised with our child. If I had beat our child like that I'd have been arrested and not allowed to see our child until he turned 18. Anyway she got women's aid involved and her solicitor and they coached her on what to say making all sorts of threats through solicitor letters that she was going to get non-molestation orders, prohibited court orders and restraining orders alleging that I was bullying, harassing, following and abusive. She told social services that I had been physically and emotionally abusing her and that's why she lashed out at our child, of course social services took her word for it and never mentioned it to me. At a social services meeting I raised the fact that this new guy she was seeing that social services assured me wasn't going to be around my son and that my ex assured them and me wasn't well I was told they had done a basic police check so I pulled out a load of paperwork that I told my solicitor had told me to introduce about this guy which included testimonials from his exes, creepy grooming sexual comments he makes on Facebook to underage girls and vulnerable women, the fact that he was not allowed unsupervised contact with his own daughter for years, the fact that when he was allowed to unsupervised contact with his underage daughter he allowed an older guy she met through the Internet upstairs where she was raped while he loudly watched football, when she confessed what happened he stopped her going to the police and was verbally abusive to the point she tried to commit suicide when he left for work, then there was the women he secretly had filmed having sex with and showed to his friends, then there was the fact he committed arson trying to intimidate a reserve Policeman's vechile which he was convicted of after all that and calling my ex out on leaving my kid alone in this guy's house while cheating on me she through out a rape allegation, naturally social services were shocked as they were trying to get it all closed down, they were kept in another year. The police interviewed me about all her accusations and I produced recordings of conversations, recorded phonecalls, phone messages and dashcam and was able to prove they were all lies and not only that but that she was verbally abusive to me and threatening me with a rape allegations. I won 3/7days custody and pay next to nothing in child support, my ex is still raging at me and has been thrashing my name all over town, recruiting flying monkeys etc but she already was doing that the whole year we broke up. She was already laying the ground work for support telling people I was abusive, never gave her money and was an alcoholic. Even bought me a load of beer, wine, gin and whiskeyto drink in our house at Christmas while I was off work and then made a point of showing my parents what an alcoholic I was and how she didn't like me drinking at home and how she would take our child away from me if I allow him carelessly to drink alcohol. I mean she was a t-totaler, she drank in her early teens and 20s but it got her into awful trouble, I had barely touched a drop or gone out since she got pregnant. Must have had an idea that she could get support from my parents when she broke up with me and moved this other guy in. Anyway 2 years later she's back in her own home, is somehow allowed to work with children again, she has less support, her family kind of keep her at arms length, the new guy isn't allowed to move in with her, he's not allowed to be left on his own with our son and she tried that recently, he's a user of women and she has less money now. The whole town knows all she did. She's still pissed out to get me because everyone knows now what she did, its almost public and though nobody cares they know. She has absolutely no remorse for any of it. Meanwhile I and my son are doing well.
But that's a cautionary tale about just going for love alone rather than taking into consideration practical things like money and ignoring redflags. Also if you choose money over love you could end up in a potentially worse situation.
It’s probably not a uniquely Chinese approach, but when I was in China I got to hear the witticism of „I would rather cry in the back of your BMW than laugh on the back of your bicycle.“
So choosing money over love would be the very epitome. I can only pity such people.
I think it depends on the person. Personally I'd pick love over money. A lot of rich people have all they want but underneath quite a few still end up miserable and depressed as hell. Money can buy you stability and the 'possibility' of happiness.. but it doesn't buy you happiness. At one point we will all be days/weeks away from death and I'd prefer to be surrounded by the love of my life and our kids and grandkids, who will all run around laughing and chuckling, all inside my mediocre sized house that I made into my forever home. Instead of sitting in mansion alone most of the time with a swimming pool that barely gets used, and house that usually stands empty. All because I ended up chasing more monetary goals, instead of giving more thoughts to love, family and friends. Don't get me wrong it could all back fire, the love of your life could cheat on you, your kids might end up being assholes... you forever house might get re-possessed etc. All making you question why didn't you just pick the damn money. Personally, after all of that I'm still choosing to chase the "love" dream instead of prioritising money. I think of my happiest moments and they're usually connected to people. Not things I bought or luxury places I've been.
PS. Sorry for the essay lol
If Jesus chose money or love, then we would be lost forever with no salvation. So love is definitely important.
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Dumb people only care about what they get from their partner.
Smart people look for a partner without red flags and who can support themselves.
Good people look for a partner who they can GIVE to and BLESS.
I think about the lyrics: ''I can see that old man
He's walking past our door
And I've been told that he's rich
But he seems so poor
'Cause no one comes to call on him
And his phone it never rings
He wanders through his empty home
Surrounded by his things
And silently I say a little prayer, yes I do.''
I think there should be another option. Choose both!
Develop yourself together until you're ready. You should not be in love with a person if you think you're love-deprived. To fall in love, you need to love yourself first. This makes you ready! Then yeah, once you think a person you like is treating you right and you both love each other, make your life together, earn money together, and get married - makes a life full of goals and happiness! <3 MY IDEAL
If your in the us then she is reffering to money the government says is worth money they could tell everyone tommorow that the money you have worked to save is worth nothing it is not backed by anything i have never been rich but i have been in love and would choose love any day over moneyi sure as hell would not kill for money but i might kill for love
Both must be present. Asking for someone who is financially stable (as yourself) isn't a high price tag. Love doesn't pay the bills, and money can't buy genuine affection. Healthy balance always.
People say love is more important but love isn’t going to put food in your belly, love isn’t going to pay your bills or keep a roof over your head, I’d choose money every time as I want to keep the house my Nan left me I want a full belly and I want my bills paid.
It depends, outright simping financially for a girl who will never love you is dumb but spending some money on your S/O isn't necessarily bad.
You can always find a way to get money.
Love is infinitely more valuable
Love is hard to find. Anyone can make money.
Depends on the love. I'd choose my family over ANY amount of money.
The Bible says God is love and money (Mammon) is a false god.
It's the person you need to live with. Imagine not being happy with that person, that will be so empty and miserable
A big house and cars without love is meaningless. I would trade a for a loving lady and a shoebox apartment over what i have now... some of you get it. Money buys things not happiness
I think any one who places money above love are doomed to failure.
I would say it’s wise to choose love over money for sure.
Choosing love over money is very smart
Realistically you shouldn't have to choose between the two. Life is about balance.
It's too general of a question to answer. I wouldn't replace my loved ones, like my parents, for all the money in the world. But if you're asking me to choose between a billion dollars and a girlfriend, I'm choosing the money.
That phrase mostly comes from people who got heartbroken often enough
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