I have been having some fights with my girlfriend recently and she’s been telling me that I am not good at communication. What can I do?

Question

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

Say everything in love intent. You will have to figure out how to communicate with her since everyone is different and the power between the two is different.

Practice listening and understanding what's she's saying... state of mind, where she's coming from, get clarification.

I had a hard time seeing what my girlfriend/wife was saying was true... I'd deflect, avoid, etc.. At the time, I thought she was being intentionally harmful, I now see she was doing so with good intent, but it still hurt. So you have to look at your emotional response and really listen and reflect and seek truth.

Ultimately, women are looking for submission until them, which is what the Bible says (and goes both ways).. they want to be loved. Everyone wants to hear "yes", affirmation. You can express negatie opininos but do so in a positive way... e. x. "those shoes aren't right for your outfit, we should go shopping and...". In genreal though, you want to be positive and supporting... she's going to know if you are BSing, so don't lie, be loving.

If this has PMS influences, then you need to pay attention to that and be extra supportive and accomodating. Her hormones are "off" and she's "different" emotionally. A negative can be many times more powerful, her thinking may change. you must recognize her behavior and adapt.

There are ways to communicate and say you disagree but do so in a positive way but still provide love and support. It's ok to be different.

Lastly... watch out for "wounds"... your task as a mate is to honor her, which means watching for things that hurt her and not doing that.

Charlesbrandonf · Accepted Answer

Have fights that’s very very normal. Just don’t end the days with only fights. Spend some good moments. Don’t let hot air fill the days. Fill it with some love. Just don’t talk to her, show your affection. Take her out for fresh air. She is not ready to listen, thinking you’re bad at communication. Talk very less, keep your talk short, be polite, Show some tenderness, kindness, take a holiday. Drive somewhere into the nature or some park, Don’t have to spend money go site seeing, make cherishing moment no matter how difficult it is in your heart. Do some window shopping. She needs some break too, so give her a reason show a reasons to get though this. Don’t push her to listen to you. Don’t try to be right, if you think she is wrong stand by her side. This won’t last long. The situations comes back to normal.

Don’t let her loose fight and don’t loose fight. It’s nothing To prove her wrong. Thank her for handling it well, thank her for making you feel comfortable and telling you what her intentions are. I know it’s Im difficult. If she is fighting with you because she is still fight for you. Don’t look her in the eyes. Just do your job. This path crosses everyone at least once or twice in a life.

Man she is your girl. Don’t forget that.

If she stops fighting, she stops loving.

Bethany22 · Accepted Answer

Don't go into your man cave when you are depressed. Or, if you need to go into your man cave, and that's when she seems to start needing to talk more all of a sudden, just let her know that you need to take some time to process your thoughts, and that you'll let her know when you're ready to talk and listen to what she has to say later on.

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

This is why she's saying the communication skills aren't good in your relationship right now. Everything you just told us in the updates should be told to her first instead. You have to express yourself to her the same way you just did to us. Then she will understand you're under a lot pressure, then maybe you guys can meet in the middle.

Moose304 · Answer

Do two things. First, get some feedback from a 3rd party on your communication skills. Some people suck at communicating and don't see it. Then if you see where you can improve start working on the listening aspect of communicating. This sounds silly I know, but the average person does have issues with effective listening. If you are speaking to someone and are forming your reply as they are speaking YOU ARE NOT listening to them. If after talking to a 3rd party you feel the issue is not you but her then you might need to reevaluate the relationship. Hard words I know, but they come from painful experiences going back 50 years.

Sunflower2412 · Answer

Well first just tell her what’s going on in your life and that you’ve been feeling depressed. See if she can understand you and work with you. Also, acknowledge how you’ve been feeling and work towards getting better, maybe even just talking to a therapist or someone close to you. Also, if your girlfriend can’t understand you or doesn’t try to make you and the situation better, it’s probably best for you two to take a break away from each other.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

If you’re committed to her, find a couples therapist to help you BOTH work on your communication. Communication issues are almost never one-sided. Her saying as much suggests she just wants to manipulate you by claiming moral superiority. If it were me, i’d dump her on that account alone. If you suggest the therapist and she refuses, that should be a clear indication of her true motives.

DaySpring · Answer

@dolii Be courteous and listen for her main points. That will fix your issues if you really stay courteous.

If it doesn't fix it, you two have separate visions of what you want the relationship to be.
And that's a whole different issue. It would take a longer message to address that.

chicosuave · Answer

lucky that you have a girlfriend. she is only testing you on how far you go. if you try and change for her then the relationship is already over. Tell her that you ain't changing for no one and if she accepts who you are then she is welcome to stay and if not she can leave. Obviously is hard to say those words or impossible but if you want women to respect you then you have to put your ground. stay strong and dont let her get under your skin.

melanieeeB · Answer

Well are you a bad communicater? What does she want from you? Why were you fighting?  I would say get to the roots of the problem, listen, talk, ask her questions and work it out with her

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Turn your phone off or silence it, We have become too dependent on electronics. You have to chose which is more important.

Anonymous · Answer

Simple, stop talking and be present with her. Listen to her with out any judgment or counter points. Just listen and hear her, her perspective may not be 100% accurate but neither is yours.

You would be amazed...

KIK

NerdInDenial · Answer

Don't tell her the whole truth; it will be used against you in the future. Do you have a group of friends that you can talk through your issues and find solutions to your problems?

wittymilf · Answer

Just listen, let her keep talking, and just encourage her to tell you everything. Easy 😂 and you don’t have to communicate much at all.

EaterPeter · Answer

Learn to communicate. Ask her if she is willing to go to couples counseling with you? Learn to be assertive. Kind, patience. Be a listener. Ask her which hat she want you to have on. Mr. Listener or Mr. Fix it.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

I broke up with my girlfriend because she was just using me for sex the only time she didn’t treat me like crap is when she was horny and after we finished

sucks that I lost her but awesome that I’m better at sex than I thought

Subarugirl · Answer

You can start by working you communication, seeing a counselor or therapist can help with that.

Anonymous · Answer

Part of fighting for yourself is telling her NO. She can take care of some of her own shit. She's a woman, not a child.

MadClown · Answer

I didn’t understand your question! Are you saying that you don’t satisfy her needs in bed?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Ask her what things she feels like you need to be communicating better on. And then work on those.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Be specific when you talk. People or her aren't God and can read your mind.

Tx_Girl31 · Answer

Basically talk with her about how you feel and listen to how she feels and try to fix the issues in the relationship that cause y’all to fight etc if they can be fixed

Owasso · Answer

Just get rid of her. The cost/benefit ratio is WAY OUTTA CONTROL nowadays with them anyway. 1976 is loooooong gone folks. Gotta get with the times.😃

Anonymous · Answer

Learn to be better at communicating, it’s not that hard.

Anonymous · Answer

I assume you had to ask her out and hit on her

Nikki1989 · Answer

Talk to her, obviously. Prove her wrong.

teamvic · Answer

Maybe oh I don't know, try to communicate

WhitneySnow · Answer

Try talking to her more openly

LovingJo · Answer

Listen to her, and act on what's she's telling you

DiegoO · Answer

Have you consider therapy? A psychologist?

ZenJen444 · Answer

Communicate 🤣🥴

jimmy2 · Answer

Talk to her simple

I have been having some fights with my girlfriend recently and she’s been telling me that I am not good at communication. What can I do?

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