Can a major rejection affect you even years later?

[Anonymous]

About 6 years ago (then 22 years old), I got rejected by my then long-term HS sweetheart. We had known each other since we were 16 year-olds. I wanted to move things forward. She didn't. Her answer was no.

For the longest, I had a hard time expressing more emotions to women. I started having several short-lived casual relationships. I would tell the woman that it's not serious. It's only been recently that I've been going out on several dates with a woman I find something unique in. I'm just taking my time though. I still get that horrible flashback from that major rejection.

Can a major (huge) rejection affect you even years later?

[Rosexøxø]

Well, since you didn’t confront the emotions/ logic in a practical and instant sense, you had a minor scale repression. Equivalent to what some victims of abuse or tragedy do, when they wish to forget any sort of trauma.

That’s the only reason it took you that certain amount of time to overcome/ or sort through it, and even recognize everything for what they were.

Apologies for that. It’s relatable, and yes, rejection can affect any and all of us, if we receive it negatively, receive it internally, and respond by way of repress/ ignore it.

Can be any type of rejection, as well. For teams/ jobs/ dating/ parents/ etc.

[Asker]

Yeah it was a marriage proposal rejection. I felt rejected as a whole. I haven't been on any meaningful long-term relationship for the longest ever since.
I think I'm ready to put the past behind and see how it goes with the woman (she's not my girlfriend yet) I'm currently dating.

[Rosexøxø]

Awesome dude, you’re evolving, adapting, and being elastic/ resilient. That’s the best thing for you- without any labels or direct things attached.

Being resilient is the best thing for YOU. Take that. Own that, and use that in every area of your life.

Proud of you 🤘 stay kickin’

Keep livin’

#Respect

[dustybiker]

Only if you allow it to. You reach a point when things hold you back, you just don’t want them to anymore. You have to make an active choice to let it go. It’s bot fair to the next person otherwise. The new person is not the old. They makes completely different choices based on their own life experiences.

[Asker]

yeah the woman I'm dating (she's not my girlfriend yet) it's not my ex girlfriend. She's totally different with different likes and different personality. There is something unique about her and I'm considering giving it a chance. I want kids at some point and just having meaningful short-lived relationships feels empty at some point.

[Guy13]

You must have a fragile psyche. I can’t remember my 16 year old girl from sophomore to Senior girlfriend’s name…we dated my Freshman first year too 🤷🏻‍♂️ No memory of name. Blonde/Blue eyes

[Asker]

We've been dating for the longest. I was then 22 years old when I asked the question, which she said no. I tried to pretend not to get hurt but I was crushed. It was a complete rejection.

[Guy13]

Well marriage proposal is a whole different ball game. I would require a clinical psychologist after that. Damn…

[Asker]

I never opened myself up to a woman ever since. I started having casual short-lived relationship where I would let girls know I'm not looking for anything serious. Though years of just sex now seems empty and lonely too. At some point I would like to have a child I can leave my legacy to.
I'm dating this woman (she's not my girlfriend yet) that I find something unique in her. I'm trying to see if I can move on from that trauma.

[Guy13]

Good luck 🍀

[In_Trance]

it can if you let it

this "major" crap is invalid. you're accepted or rejected. That's it

[Asker]

I think I'm ready to put this aside by now. I want to. It's been a long while since I haven't been in a meaningful relationship.

[Anonymous]

I have never been rejected, so I have no idea.

[Asker]

You're lucky you never had to undergo a big rejection.

[LazerBean]

Sure, if you allow it to.

[Asker]

I'm trying to move on from it. Ever since that major rejection, I haven't been on any meaningful, long-term relationship. It was all short-lived and casual but years of just that feels empty and lonely too.