Is fantasizing cheating?

[Anonymous]

I'm in a relationship with my current boyfriend for more than 2 years. I really do like him and appreciate him very much. He has his faults but I don't think I could ever find someone as good as him. We didn't fall in love per se but we have a very harmonious relationship and we are very thankfull for one another. My problem is that I find myself fantasizing about being swept away by some other guy, recently, my college colleague. I do find him attractive but I feel nothing when I see him in person + I think my boyfriend is waaaaay better than him, he's way more talanted and way smarter than this colleague of mine. Nonetheless, it sometimes feels as if I cannot help myself but fantasize about this guy. I never want to break up with my boyfriend because we get along so well but I think I have these fantasies in my head because I'm missing that "being in love feeling" (palms sweating, heart thumping...). Even tho my boyfriend is great to me, he is not a romantic type. I'm telling myself it doesn't mean anything as long as I'm not developing feelings for anyone.

What do you guys think?

[Nomina]

To me, it looks like there's something in that guy that you may want your boyfriend to display, not so much that you like the other guy.
You could figure out exactly what it is and see with your boyfriend if it's something you could play around with, test, I dunno.

[missroxierocks]

Would you be upset if he was doing this? If yes then it is probably wrong. If not then maybe no and in that case


I believe it’s ok to wonder but not to indulge or have it become reoccurring. Sometimes relationships have slow periods where it isn’t as exciting before it goes back to being exciting. You can’t stop attraction but you can definitely stop yourself. It doesn’t sound like you’re considering ending things so I wouldn’t worry unless you consider acting on these thoughts.

[In_Trance]

Unbelievable

[Asker]

what is?