I've never cheated on him, he's cheated on me multiple times and I've let it go every time, I never bring it up, I don't "entertain" anyone. I have guy friends but if I talk to them he considers it entertaining them. But he still "encourages me to hang out with friends." I'm not blaming him for me missing out on life, but I told him I'm too scared to enjoy life because I don't want to lose his trust even if I did nothing wrong. He lies to me constantly but I ignore it so that I don't start a fight. He's saying I lied when I said I haven't eaten but the last time I ate was 12 hours prior at his house and I had one bagel. I respectfully told him I wasn't in the right head space to talk and I told him I wanted to continue this conversation the next day and he told me I wasn't setting a boundary even though I clearly was and he accused me of diversion. Is he disrespecting my boundaries? How tf do I respond? Or is it worth responding at all? I'm so over this nonsense đđđ
Obviously, he is picking up on vibe and wants to talk about it and you are avoiding the conversations, then playing this text bullshit when you could have talked to him. But you don't want to do that or give it that to him, for whatever reason you have fliying around in you colidiscope of emotions,
Him... obviously, is sensing you are losing interest in him, and wanting space and he is flipping out about it.
I agree and I've said to him countless times now that I do not ever want to have serious conversations over text but he waits until I'm about to go to sleep so he knows I'm tired and then starts a serious conversation and when I try to stick to my boundary, he tells me I'm running away and avoiding confrontation. But when we talk in person or on the phone, all he does is interrupt me and get louder than me. This man is 31 and I'm 24. đ
Yeah, I would say you just need to end it with this guy... He's not the one for you. Quit trying to be so nice and just tell him its over for you. Sounds like he more desperate in the situation then you are.
I appreciate your brutal honesty, I know I need to be more assertive, it's just easier said than done when I've struggled with it up until this point in my life.. Thank you for the perspective! I'll see what I can do.
Tough love is just another form of love. Not saying I love you or anything... just saying there is a place for it, sometimes people need a kick in the ass, to do what the know they should of done.
To me it sounds like youâre trying too hard to sound nice and proper, like covering your back or smth, I wouldnât really like it, it would make me feel like Iâm the bad guy⌠it sounds like you could be standing up for yourself a lot more, and you donât have to justify yourself, like if youâre done talking just say it and bye⌠you keep apologizing⌠it sounds like he has trust issues and why accepting his bs anyway⌠you may be scared of losing him but this makes you weak, I know itâs easier said than done but youâre accepting way too much you should be thinking about yourself, my opinion only of courseâŚ
"he's cheated on me multiple times and I've let it go every time" Why is that the case? If that's true, this alone should be telling for you that he doesn't love you.
He thinks you are lying to him. You two need to slow down and calm down a bit. Communicate honestly and more openly with each other about your problems, be more understanding, if you want to solve this all.
I know absolutely well what kind of situation you are in. I was that man, many years ago.
I have to assume (you can correct me if I am mistaken) that the "lies" and "inconsistencies" in your behaviour are, on some level, there.
If that is right, what follows is: he is the type who will be driven to insanity by any lie and inconsistency, of any kind. This will grow over time, he'll be looking for them obsessively, and then more obsessively, growing able to spot smaller and smaller of those, as well as imagine some when he doesn't find any real one. This in turn will exhaust you, and, if he doesn't leave you first, you will have no choice but to leave him (though by the looks of it, this is the rarest of cases, a case of actual love).
There is no other way for a happy ending in such a scenario than you being able to do without any "lie" and "inconsistency", of any kind (by omission, "for the good of the relationship", "for peace's sake", small, tiny, ...). It's most likely that you, being a human, cannot do that, even if you would want to with a strong will.
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