Was I being too naggy to the guy I was dating?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating this guy for 1 momth and a half but I have known him for 5 months he was chasing me for that long. The other day I said ‘You didn’t say good morning to me, I don’t like that’ and since then he’s been ignoring me? I’m not sure if something else has happened and it’s just a coincidence but was that too naggy? I also said to him the day before I was like ‘Well you still haven’t let me know the plan’ because he kept me waiting for agies knowing the plan so I just said how I felt? Was I to naggy? Usually he always describes me as being a cool chill girl and he liked that but was I being dramatic here I don’t know? I can’t help but think I was? I also haven’t slept with him yet so I don’t know if that’s getting to him also? Am I overthinking this. He’s ignored me for 5 days since. I haven’t said a word since I’m giving him Space?

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes. This was definitely too naggy (I might use a different word, but ok..).

I mean... I'm going to assume that this isn't "you at your best". Both of those examples are... unjustifiably hostile, aggressive and, frankly... extremely off-putting. What you described HERE is the furthest thing from a "cool chill girl" I can imagine. To be honest, the girl described here is a goddamn nightmare.

It's a bit concerning that you don't seem to KNOW that this was not ok. But... that's not ok. 🙂

[Máiiréad]

Try rewording and approaching your wants, needs, and concerns in a different way. Instead of saying "you didn't say good morning to me, I don't like that" try something else like "I really like when you tell me good morning, it really makes my morning I appreciate it."

Instead of saying "Well you still haven’t let me know the plan", try saying something like "please let me know when you have a plan ready for us" or "I am excited to know what plan you have come up with." If you write it like that, it may have him think "oh dang, I really need to get on that, she thinks I have a plan already."

Men (and people in general) do not like to feel like they are being attacked. It is all about the approach. I'd say after awhile, if he just doesn't put any effort and doesn't meet your needs of communication, perhaps you both or not a good fit for each other, and that is okay.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Structure your wants as if you are suggesting them in a cool way, not demanding. Complaining does not work in most cases. It offends people.

[Asker]

@The_Shadow_Dweller yes I can be quite demanding. Maybe I am too much for him

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

The way you frame your sentences needs to change. Be more soft-spoken. I too had that problem. But, paying attention to people speaking, the way they speak, etc will help you not only in your relationship but in your career too.
Learn to frame complaints, and negative things in a positive manner, in positive sentences.
You can learn them from HR, and marketing people. This is also known as the corporate language.

[Asker]

@The_Shadow_Dweller Yes I think I’m just quite overly emotional I will try and make it up to him

[Asker]

@The_Shadow_Dweller do u think this would be a reason to ghost someone then because I’m not sure if to take action incase I’m completely wrong on the reason?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Such behaviour by you or anyone is hardly any reason for ghosting. In fact, he could have tried clearing things up with you. People are often direct with their close ones. Maybe you need to clear things up with him. I mean, you really need to do this.

But, I feel, you may not be patient enough with this whole situation, at the moment. You have got your whole life. Calm down. Think carefully and approach each point you thought of, each at a time.
Not all at a time. It will be a mess. One thing at a time.

You are definitely wrong for the reason given. In fact, now I am thinking. If that guy is not able to see the meaning behind some words, be they of any form, and that too from his girlfriend, he should have been a bit understanding. You deserve to ask questions. Be wary of the guy at the moment.

But the soft-speaking thing in the above responses still stands. As it will be beneficial to you everywhere.

Don't take tension, after reading all this. Keep it simple. Do not try to forcibly control things. Just give slight nudges/push here and there as things work out by themselves. Do not give yourself any headache over such matters. And be firm.👊

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

"You are definitely not wrong for the reason given."*

[Asker]

@The_Shadow_Dweller it turns out he was in a car accident and has been in hospital…

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Now this thread made a weird turn. And I first hand got to know what extra thinking feels like.😅😅
Maybe all is in vain in this thread, but you know what counts. All the best!

[Máiiréad]

Good lord, hope he is ok.

[Screenwriter]

What does a guy who you've dated a month need space for? However, the thing about him not saying good morning seems a ridiculous expectation on your part. If he's ignored you completely for five days, maybe this fledgling relationship is burning out.

This has nothing to do with your not sleeping with him. You barely know him. Knowing him BEFORE dating is completely different from knowing him afterward. Spending time hanging out with a person reveals more intimate aspects of a person.

And it doesn't sound like you're "chill" if you expect a good morning every day. Isn't hello, hey, or a nod good enough?

Could be he's having other trouble, but a five-day silence seems strange in a new relationship. Ask him. And if it's negative, you've dodged a bullet. Move on.

[OlderAndWiser]

There are different ways to cnvey the same message:

"You didn’t say good morning to me, I don’t like that" can be changed to "I really missed your message this morning!"

"Well you still haven’t let me know the plan" can become "I'm looking forward to our next time together. I hope to hear the plans soon!"

Do you see the difference?

[Guy13]

Try this next time. stop him even if you have to grab and smile with a "Good Morning..." And, flirt on by. Next time if he head nods he got the message.

NOW, Your assault and battery manner sucks as you are overly emotional. After that interchange, I would be out... cause who knows what bombs would be dropped on Texts. YOU can still save this but you will have to be intentional. Actions are louder than words so apologies mean Crap...

[Asker]

Yes I am overly emotional. I have noticed I’m very emotional. Okay I will do a action and hopefully he forgets about it if not then I know for next time

[Asker]

Do u think this would be a reason to ghost someone then because I don’t wanna do a big action incase this isn’t the reason? Would it be a reason for u to ghost?

[Guy13]

Did you dislike my post?

[Random18x]

Don’t think you need to sleep with him. If a person wants to be with you, they will wait until you’re ready. Also it may be a little “naggy” if you feel like you have fo constantly point out what he’s not doing or how wrong he may be doing it. I say the next couple days, see how he acts with you. If you don’t like it, then say something and if you feel like you’re naggy or he won’t change it then maybe you should let it go.

[FilmGuy93]

Super dramatic and just generally needlessly unpleasant. If you want to repair the situation, just try being friendly the next time you see him in person.

[Asker]

It turns out he has been in hospital and has broken a bone… I feel very bad now

[FilmGuy93]

Ouch... yeah, that kind of thing is why I make a point of never jumping to conclusions. Don't be too hard on yourself, but just chalk this up as a learning experience and don't be so pushy next time.

[boggboss]

He didn't say good morning 1 morning and u called it out?

[Asker]

I know it wasn’t like me I think I have been demanding too much I am laying off and giving him space. I’ve always been told I’ve been ‘too nice’ you see so I guess I wanted to be more assertive

[Asker]

And he told me I didn’t have enough bitchiness and that he likes that so I just thought too

[boggboss]

But it was only 1 time lol

[Vegasrunner]

If this guy comes back to you he's a loser. No self respecting man wants to be nagged on a daily by a women he's not banging unless it's his mother. Probably better for both of you to move on.

[bamesjond0069]

Yes too naggy and demanding. You can express your desires and you can end the relationship. Only two good options. You can't nor shouldn't seek to control him.

[Anonymous]

You enjoyed what you call "being chased for 5 months", for the whole 5 months, though. Didn't you?

[SplatoonFan2]

Is seem like stupid thing to think.