Why Do Some Men Feel Entitled To Having A Girlfriend (As A Prize) For Being A Well Rounded Individual?

Question

Sorry but I don't think the opposite sex owes you anything for having a good life and being a decent human being.

USLegionary · Accepted Answer

The old nice guy routine. They can't understand why female friends date losers and durtbags that treat them like shit while they never get seen as dateable.

"A healthy, well-kept, financially stable and mild-mannered guy wants to find a female companion to care for, spend time and have regular sex with. She doesn’t have to be anything special, as long as she is not horribly disfigured, it will do."

This is the mating call of a generic Nice Guy. It echoes sadly through all his communication attempts with women he likes: his countless Facebook messages that nobody will respond to, his emails that won’t be read, and the likes he dispenses in spades that won’t be appreciated. Despite his apparent qualities, females not only ignore the Nice Guy, but absolutely despise him. They will go to any lengths to avoid giving the Nice Guy any attention whatsoever and actually consider him a completely non-sexual object, like a lamp or a nightstand. On the other hand, a tatted up gangster will be swimming in pussy without investing any effort, and will often have several women fighting over him. To understand why this happens, we have to dissect the situation and take a dispassionate look at it. What the Nice Guy offers is his undying loyalty and endless love. In one word—security. And that’s the exact opposite of what women want and what turns them on sexually. What women actually want out of romantic relationships is risk. Trying to be more dangerous when dealing with women and seeing it work is just like flicking a light switch on and finally being able to see the entire room, instead of stumbling around it in dark. A recent article published in New Scientist quotes Emily Nagoski, a Massachusetts sexologist, who states that 80% (probably higher) women feel no spontaneous sexual desire at all, compared to around 20% of men (probably lower) in the same situation. This spontaneous sexual desire is defined as an urge that arises on its own and demands to be satisfied, like hunger. Women can definitely have sexual desire, it just doesn’t appear on its own, but always as a consequence of some outside factor. The implication of this is staggering—women literally cannot initiate anything sexual and unless the man does something. This is not just sex, but any kind of intimacy is completely out of the question. A typical woman is driven by her desire for excitement and spontaneity, which leads her from one asshole to another. Just like a moth is attracted to the candle flame and circles it until finally flying straight into it and burning, so will a woman enter a badly thought out relationship that leaves her broken and defective. And then another and another. She won’t be able to explain to herself why she is doing it and she will know it’s bad, but she will do it nonetheless. Of course, constantly taking risks is a strategy that gives diminishing returns and takes a tremendous toll on her body and psyche. Since that’s the only strategy a woman has, it can only provide a limited amount of butterflies and feels before her beauty finally deteriorates to the point where nobody desires her anymore. At that moment, she will suddenly remember all those men that she used to reject just a while ago— a. k. a. Nice Guys. Nice Guys are actually cultivated by society on purpose. The reasoning behind this is that a woman must never suffer the consequences of her actions. Hence, there will always be a fresh batch of Nice Guys to cushion her fall and provide her with free meals, free housing, and a sperm donation. There is nothing wrong with Nice Guys as long as you are not one of them. Getting out of the Nice Guy mindset can be quite a painful process, but there are ways to do it. If you’ve recognized yourself as not taking enough sexual risks, one simple method is to outright kiss every girl that you like. Without any introduction or explanation, just do it. Even if she slaps you or makes a scene, you will at least get her to acknowledge your advances and express her opinion of you publicly. As you use this method, you will lose the fear of rejection that was holding you back and just start doing with females whatever you desire. This kind of recklessness is exactly what attracts women and drives them insane. Having a woman that wants to submit herself completely to you is an ego booster like no other. For men, the pinnacle of sexual development is having sexual security, which means the capability to get sex on demand. It’s not just going out and banging everything with a warm hole between her legs, but being able to target females you particularly like and being able to consistently seduce them with ease and without spending any money. As with everything else, the secret lies in balance. Having a proper mix of sexual risk and security is the best possible long term strategy and results in a varied and stable sexual life well into the old age. What more could you ask for?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

The issue is that quality men and women both have a way of generating feelings of inadequacies in others. People such as these place a higher value on themselves, and like most other people want to attract people they see as their equals. While seeing themselves as a prime caregiver and not caretaker.

Caretaking is a hallmark of codependency and is rooted in insecurity and a need to be in control.

Caregiving is an expression of kindness and love.

The problems arise with caregiving, when you start to give with expectations. Given that relationships are transactional, and that healthy relationships demand a degree of give and take... when a caregiver starts to place expectations on their giving then this can cross the line and become a type of caretaking, in which most caregivers are blind to.

When they start to give and then feel that their giving is not appreciated it generates anxiety when their expectations are not achieved. This anxiety is rooted in frustration, resentfulness and later anger... and it projects a feeling of inadequacy onto their partner. Over time their partner becomes resentful of their giving, because they start to feel less than, when they cannot match level of giving or live up to the giver's expectations. This leads to a codependent relationship, whereas both parties start to resent the other and become driven by insecurities to enforce a greater degree of control in order to restore balance.

So as is the case with high value women, men who have a high degree of self-worth, can be perceived as intimidating. This often perceived as being arrogant, self-centered or cocky. Because over time their giving can be used as a means to exert control within a relationship... especially when the other person feels they are not being perceived as an equal.

So, to me it's not about feeling entitled as much as it is rooted in a deep desire to feel valued and appreciated... which again when match with someone who does not feel they can match or compete on the same level with are often turned off.

But as I stated, care givers do not see this flaw with in themselves... because by all other means and standards they believe themselves to be an ideal match for any person. They blind to the fact that they are projecting expectation on to other people, that are not realistic or ideal for a potential mate.

MrHopper · Answer

I think it comes from a few angles, the obvious first one being that they feel as they worked hard a woman is a reward and that they are better than these other men so why do they not have that women!

The other thing i think is its a society thing, men are kind of conditioned to think that women just want rich men with good jobs and are not actual people with thoughts feelings and ideas. A woman becomes this "trophy" in a lot of older forms of media.

The reality is they are so busy working, being boring with no vices, spending no money and living at the gym they are the most boring self centred person and of course they won't be attractive to any one... but believing they are the problem is the first step that they won't take as its easier to blame everyone else (see similarities with many other parts of society)

SnowedIn · Answer

Why? Because they think that all their achievements make them desirable. And, more deeply, they're looking for validation for what they've done and the time and other resources they've invested in being "perfect". They have defined attractive and now want the women (or men) to desire them because of their own perceived attractiveness.

Just blah.

Smoothing · Answer

Women like a guy who gives them attention. Most men that have a good job and can afford a good lifestyle, are to busy to give women the attention they need. Therefore women go for the guys that don't have much going for them. Those men have all the time in the world to give that attention to the women.

Secondly, women don't make decisions the same way men do. Most women settle not because they like the guy, but because they get the attention they desire from the guy they don't really want, but the guy they desire, don't have the time to offer them that.

But men who are busy, should aim for women that are busy because women who are busy will not have high demands in terms of time. Also those women are less likely to entertain bums. Because they admire men with ambition.

NathanDavis · Answer

lmao... that's hilarious

so you're a basic and decent responsible adult, so what...

good for you, you have accomplished what a grown-up should be by default, some of those things anyway and then, to compare yourself with those that are not as fortunate doesn't say much about you either

entitlement of this kind can trap your mindset into the mediocre...

inhua · Answer

who knows? but he does make a good point though.

society is fucked up today because bad men for being rewarded their bad behavior. can't be pointing the fingers at fuckboys and bad boys and criminals for doing what they do when they get rewarded with the very best of a woman and meanwhile a hard-working man gets shamed into having to accept the worst of the same woman and fix her problems. how often do you see these same women get angry over any mention of a high body count?

if a woman doesn't want a man like that, that's totally fine. if a man like that doesn't want a slut, he shouldn't be shamed into wanting one.

either way, this guy shouldn't want those women, nor should he pay them any attention and listen to their problems. they have boyfriends to listen to their problems.

connemara_crocodile · Answer

Easy... Love is about emotional connection, not a trade marlet where you exchange goods of equal value

Phoenix98 · Answer

Sorry but I don't think the opposite sex owes you anything for having a good life and being a decent human being.

I agree with that statement but I think it goes both ways and applies to men and women. The world and the people in it don't owe you a damn thing.

exitseven · Answer

I worked at a hospital for a few years and got to know a lot of the nurses. Quite a few were married to bums. Most were really nice and fairly attractive. They would be married to guys that were on disability or unemployed. They often supported the family.

shortster · Answer

There is no entitlement in his post. He is just expressing his confusion as to why all his female friends have loser boyfriends. Yet he has all the qualities that society says women want in a boyfriend and can't find a girlfriend. Understanding the motivations of women is a mystery most men will never figure out. Even if they marry one and have a happy marriage.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

I dont understand why he's wondering why his girl- friends are dating "losers". Those probably aren't the women he wants anyways.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

For the same reason that women equate being a functioning adult with "being a bad bitch."

aaron210419 · Answer

This question contradicts itself, Good men are not entitled men... Those are boys you're thinking of.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

I think it's about communication relationships not she is a prize an caring an having same interest

Alex8736 · Answer

Woke University that teach men to act like a spoiled little boys and blame the feminists movement. 😂

MementoMori777 · Answer

Clearly they don't know how the world works

AdithyaR · Answer

I've never understood this thought process.

HugeDikEng · Answer

Because men deserve it, duh.

Why Do Some Men Feel Entitled To Having A Girlfriend (As A Prize) For Being A Well Rounded Individual?

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What Guys Said

Why do men feel as though theyre entitled to good girls?

Why Do Some Men Feel Entitled To Having A Girlfriend (As A Prize) For Being A Well Rounded Individual?

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What Guys Said

Why do men feel as though theyre entitled to good girls?

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