What do I do? Boyfriend going on spring break to Cancun with single friends?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months, which doesn't seem long but we spend everyday together. It is a very healthy attachment and a healthy relationship and my first serious relationship where I felt like I was being treated well. My previous boyfriend cheated on me, and my current boyfriend knows that.

This spring break (which is 4 months away), he planned a trip to Cancun with a bunch of other guys. I am not ignorant to the immaturity of dudes and my boyfriend if the only guy not in a relationship. What makes it worse was that I was going to go too but it turned into a guys trip, and I got uninvited, when the only other guy in a relationship became single... which prompted me to think this trip was going to just turn into them all getting with girls.

Before we were official there were a few instances where I knew he lied to me, and I am his first girlfriend so I'm trying to be honest but cautious. I am also trying to not self-sabotage. I mentioned to him my concerns in terms of him being the only taken guy there. In Cancun. for spring break. I am trying to organize a girls trip but regardless of my plans the anxiety is killing me.

Is there any thing I can do or say to him to be less anxious? Or is there anything I should expect him to do to make me feel more at ease? I would want to know if he cheats, and I don't want to breakup with him just to avoid this anxiety, but it has taken me so long to be better at trusting men I am close to in my life. Obviously if he wants to cheat then good riddance... but I truly imagine spending a good chunk, if not all, of my life with him.

Updates

+1 y

UPDATE: I would also feel so controlling if I followed him or vacationed in the same place. In addition, I feel like it would be unfair to him to expect him to stay with me or not go on his trip at all... is that realistic to expect a guy to do that? I genuinely just don't want my
concerns to be taken as controlling or toxic or something of the like

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

This is what happens when you have experienced being cheated on in the past.

It creates a ton of relationship anxiety in the future.

I understand your boyfriend wants to hang out with his buddies for vacation which is fine but do to your past I think he should be considerate of your feelings and just this one time skip such trip to try to help you heal from your past cheating anxiety.

As to how you should address this to him, just tell him you are suffering from past anxiety from being cheated on and that it will greatly help you develop stronger trust in him if he can just stay with you or go with you to a different vacation spot.

Under such circumstances him choosing you over his friends during your difficult time can definitely help you heal some because it shows he cares for your well being a lot.

[Mybeachlife8888]

I think you need to let him be himself. If he cheats he cheats and if you’re not ok with it then end it. If it doesn’t really bother you that he had fun then stay with him. But you shouldn’t let something like this bother you. Like him for who he is and how he treats you.

[SphynxUK]

Do you usually trust him? If so, trust him! A man will cheat when he wants to, and when he doesn’t think he’ll get caught out. He doesn’t have to go on holiday to do this.
Just let him have his holiday. You can call and FaceTime.
If he comes back different or tells you he made a mistake, then forgive and forget or leave (best option). Because if it did happen, it will happen again.

[Darine123]

I’m a crazy jealousy girlfriend and if I was in your situation I would just buy plan tickets and follow him lmaooo

[Guy13]

That’s going to suck for you. Hope he is safe. Make sure he has his gps on for safety 😎

[msc545]

You really have only two choices you can just grit your teeth and put up with this or you can break up with him. I would suggest the first alternative as it sounds like the relationship is important to you. However, when he comes back don't subject him to an interrogation to try to find out whether or not he cheated on you. If he did he did and it will come out later on its own. In the meantime make some plans for yourself and have a good time elsewhere but definitely not in Cancun

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him about it doesn’t mean he’s trying to pick up women

[Danny_dan92]

You’re paranoid because?

[Sasha0426]

If you don’t trust him, tell him.

[AmeerX]

Insist on going