Do you trust your partner when it comes to Guy’s Night or Girl’s night?

[Finchie40]

Your partner tells you they are going out to a bar with their friends and that they will probably be sleeping over a friends house? How would that make you feel?

[TruthBringer]

No.

And this has nothing to do with "insecurity". It has to do with BOUNDARIES.
If you want to act single, THEN BE SINGLE.

If my girl wants to go on a "girl's night out" then the relationship is over right at that minute. Because we all know what these 'nights' are far. I'm talking about the bars and clubs type of 'girl's night out'. If it is just an 'only girls' sleepover, a movie night, or anything that does not include the opposite sex, that's a different story.

If your partner willingly exposes themselves to people and environments that are notorious for cheating and hooking up, then that is a testament to their lack of respect for you and your relationship. And I can have ALL the trust in the world in my woman, but if she puts herself out there where the odds of something bad happening are SIGNIFICANTLY increased, then that tells me she is low-value to be in a long-term relationship with.

I have faith that my locks and the security system of my house will hold off any thieves, but does that mean I'll still allow them to attempt a break-in?

Anyway, feel free to disagree. Don't start crying when your political correctness has lead to the sabotage of your relationships. I care too much about mine to let unwanted but avoidable circumstances sabotage mine

[Finchie40]

I agree with you on this , only in a committed relationship with someone though , if i am just dating a girl she can do what she wants just like I will do what i want , but once we are committed the single days are over , my thing is if you loved and cared about your partner why would you have to put yourself in these kind of environments that would make your partner feel uneasy and worried about you? If you like to drink , drink at home with your friends you should never exclude your partner and choose friends over your committed partner , if my friends want to go to bars then I am bringing my girl with me I would never exclude her , we are a package deal, if your friends don’t like it then aren’t really your friend is how I look at it , There are good friends and there are toxic friends , A toxic friend will o what they can to pull you away from your partner and make you tag along with them out of their selfishness a good friend will support your relationship and understand that your partner is part of you , It has nothing to do with insecurities it comes down to respect for each other. People that don’t agree with this are people that are selfish and up to no good themselves , plain and simple, when I am single I will go to bars and try to meet girls , I hooked up with girls brought them back to my place had sex with them to find out later on they were married. Which to me was so fucked up , So Why put yourself in those environments if you are happily taken in a relationship? Bars and clubs are where people drink and flirt and try to get laid , trust me they aren’t there just for the drinks , they are there for the drinks and added bonuses , why would someone spend a lot of money on a drink when they can buy it cheaper at a liquor store and drink it at home? If my committed partner was choosing her friends over our relationship then they can have her cuz I will go be single myself. I laugh when a girl tells me her husband trusts her going out , I

[Finchie40]

Say yea he trusts you alright , he doesn’t give a fuck about you , he is glad you are going out so he can go do his thing. people are so naive when it comes to shot like this

[TruthBringer]

@Finchie40 Thank you. Glad to see someone with a good head on his shoulders. I agree wholeheartedly. Under this post, I read a lot of people who say things like "without trust, I wouldn't be in a relationship with them". And this is what makes it all funny. I do trust my girlfriend. I trust her because she has PROVEN that she is trustworthy. How so? By not putting herself in circumstances and environments that are controversial (clubs or bars). THAT is why I trust her. Trust is earned, not given.

The same people who claim they "trust" their partner are the same people who get anxious when their partner actually goes out to places that are notorious for cheating (clubs or bars). I mean, you said it yourself. You've taken women back to your place who were in a relationship/ marriage. That's literally reinforcing our point. The moment my girl starts to turn a 180 and suddenly wants to go out to such places, despite her knowing VERY WELL the consequences that will bring to our relationship, then I already take it as a failed relationship and she can go have her fun. While I go have my fun as a single man.

I personally don't mix friendships with my love-life. Meaning, my friends don't associate with my girl nor vice versa. I keep the two separate. I introduce my girl to my friends, but when I hang out with the guys, I do so without her. Just as I don't mingle with my girlfriend's girl friends. In my experience, mixing the two brings trouble. All in all, neither me or my girl have anything to worry when we both hang out with our friends. So no places like bars or clubs or whatever. I've chosen my friends carefully and so did she.

[Androktasia]

Great comment, I couldn't be in relationship with anyone who's party type anyway and I feel like If you go to bars because you like the attention then you not only disrespect your partner but also yourself

[TruthBringer]

@Androktasia Thank you for the compliment. And I wholeheartedly agree with what you said. It is indeed disrespectful to the other person if one decides to go out to places notorious for strangers that are trying to hook up. I avoid people who go to such places like the plague, in the first place. As a man, I know it is near impossible to find a quality girl in such places. In my experience, the quality girls avoid these environments, are more reserved and leaning towards the introverted side.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Take a hard look at her friends. If her friends are cheating sluts then you know what it is about and what is going to happen. Non-slutty friends don't even want to go to a bar where the drinks are overpriced and attract a bunch of horny people that are looking to get laid.

Or you can just trust... which is like fucking around just to find out.

How it ended for me was getting a phone call to come save her and her friend from a couple of guys that wouldn't leave them alone. I had to stop watching a movie with the other girls boyfriend and go to a fucking bar with that boyfriend just so we could get the guys to fuck off. There is no point in going to a place where that is supposed to happen if you think you're fine and it just won't happen to you. That just brings me back to the "fuck around and find out" logic.

[Emiliamazing]

I have a girls night out once a month with some other similarly aged close friends of mine and he has yet to have a problem with it. I don't ever spend the night anywhere and I generally send him cute little messages about how the evening is going and to check on how the kids are behaving for him. On the flipside, I trust him fully. He goes backpacking with a couple of friends, and also does some bicycle touring once or twice a year. We have complete trust of each other, even when we are out of town. I can't imagine having that worry on top of all the other worries that come with a job, being a parent, and the other stresses of the world around us.

[Emiliamazing]

And just to make this even clearer, knowing that you are trusted by your significant other, strengthens your relationship. It feels good to have that trust.

[musicbrain5]

I trust him, because he has proven to me that he can be trusted when he’s out with his friends. We have been together for a long time. As for me, I don’t go to bars and clubs and never have. That is not my scene. I don’t even want to be dragged to one. When I meet my friends it’s usually just for coffee or at a regular restaurant.

[Guy13]

I see no choice but to trust. And, I see no reason to sit around like a wounded dog.

All I have to do is say, “Great have fun…I’ll be heading over to the Airport park after work and watch planes ✈️ take off and land.” OR

Alright, will be at Indoor (more university/PhD girls at indoor than guys).

[jennifer_bloom]

If you want to know whether a girl can be trusted - see what types of friends she has. If her friends do not do crazy stuff - she won't have somebody to do crazy stuff with.

[Summeroflove]

I need to be with someone I trust.

[lightbulb27]

yes. that is very partner dependent though... like who are they as a person?

If alcohol is involved, trust drops dramatically, possibly to zero... because it's a drug and makes people stupid.

I try to stay away from stupid, so I only drink at home with my wife and family.

[Tanisha69]

thats smart. some girls I know will try to hook up with married guys

[Finchie40]

And married women will do the same

[lightbulb27]

to be clear and respectful to my wife, my wife doesn't drink, minimally at home, I didn't mean or intend to infer that she did. I will sometimes, rarely. I trust her, she works hard to communicate about whom she talks to,.. like she will talk to other people from GAG, and that's fine, whom she's out with and when. I have no question marks or concerns, a big part of that is she doesn't drink and holds values of relationship. It's a question of whom that person is. Making effort to build trust is important in regards to your question.
Anyone can fall prey, and when someone is successful and happy... they will draw others like flies to a watermelon. What's inside that person and their ability to handle the "test" defines how it goes. A pastor once told of how a woman "sprawled" herself on his desk... he immediately called his wife. You gotta be ready for being attacked and tested...

[itsalyssaagain]

I do otherwise he wouldn't be my boyfriend. You have to trust your partner.

I have been cheated on in the past and I have very bad trust issues. The way I see past is understanding that life goes on and my trust issues can ruin a good thing. The truth will always come to surface and if I ever discover my partner is being disloyal, I will leave them. That's the only way to go.

[wysiwyg2525]

Yes I do. I actually encourage my partner to go hang out with friends or make new frigiys or girls. Its a free country they can hangout with whoever they like. Why have trust issues. The way I see it they always come home to me and if they choose to cheat the when I say we are done they understand. There is no second chances.

If your jealous of them going out, here is a few reason to why. 1. Your clingy and this is going to catchup to you. 2. Your guilty of already having second thought or have cheated.

We are in a new Era that being open minded and open to be a swinger is the way to go. Why put labels on your relation. As long as you all agree on something then no harm or shame in the lifestyle.

[420Rachel]

Absolutely. I’ll trust you 100% until you give me a reason not to. Trust is vital in a relationship and we all need time with friends! Staying with your partner every second of every day is what causes problems! Gotta take some time for yourself. And I’m all about some “me time” 😂

[red324]

You'll just get cheated on or dumped if they find out you don't trust them. Trust them but don't be naive either.

[420Rachel]

Well the only reason I wouldn’t trust them is if I find out that they lied to me about something. There’s no reason for lies unless you’re trying to hide something.

[red324]

True. I've always found a person's words and their actions are usually two different things.

[Finchie40]

Nothing wrong with me time , but me time shouldn’t be in environment that can cause drama in your relationship and disrespect to your partner , if me time is dressing up to seek validation from others then that isn’t me time , that is I am a selfish piece of shit time because you are only thinking of yourself. The reason most relationships fail is because people do not know how to remove selfishness for each other , They don’t know how to set boundaries without following those boundaries themselves and they don’t wear their partners shoes like they expect them to wear theirs. you should always prioritize your partner when it comes to making decisions, meaning you should think how your partner would feel before assuming oh they trust me and if they don’t that’s their problem , bottom line it doesn’t come down to trust, it comes down to respect for each other, if you can’t do that for your partner, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship period , what would honestly be the point? It can’t be my way or the highway attitude , When I commit to a girl my single days have come to an end , it’s me and her Vs the world , If she doesn’t have my back I sure as hell won’t have hers. if she can’t remove selfishness for me , I sure as hell won’t be able to remove it for her , trust doesn’t just come natural, trust comes from respecting each other , if your partner isn’t ok with you going to a bar or club with your friends then you don’t go to that bar and club with your friends period if you don’t want your partner going to bars and clubs cuz you feel uncomfortable with them going then that means bars and clubs are off limits to you as well , it can’t be ok for you to do something but not ok for your partner , you should never prioritize your friends over your partner period and most people don’t grasp that concept. It’s ok to have friends but you should never prioritize friends over your partner , Friends come and go You can have good and bad friends a good friend

[Finchie40]

Going to support your relationship understand that you aren’t single anymore a toxic friend doesn’t give 2 shits about your relationship and wants you all to themselves , they don’t care if they sabotage your relationship because they are selfish people that only think of themselves, they will fill your head that your partner isn’t good for you , you deserve to be treated better , don’t be controlled by them they immediately exclude your partner out of the picture etc , They honestly don’t care about you or your partner , all they care about is having a friend tag along with them doing single things until they finally meet someone and when they do , they leave you in the dirt with nothing left cuz by the time that happens , if your partner was smart they would be long gone as well , bottom line you dug your own grave by choosing friends over your partner. I have witness and experienced this type of shit unfold in front of me so many times that nobody can prove me wrong , i worked as a bouncer at a club and have witnessed so much pathetic shit that people do to each other to the point people are just plain out selfish people , you will never experience true love if you don’t know how to remove selfishness bottom line , you will keep continuing on a path of going no where , Do not commit to someone if you can’t commit yourself period , you can play a victim all you want but the reality of it is you are the piece of shit

[Anonymous]

“Girls night” where they’re going to a movie and dinner and then sleeping at a friends? Yes. Bible study and then a movie? Sure, no worries. Coffee with a girlfriend in the afternoon, obviously. Going at 10pm to a strip club and then heavy drinking and she looks like she would have dressed for a hot date or something that was “for my eyes only”? Heck no, I wouldn’t trust her doing that. I mean, she CAN do whatever, and I can’t command her, but I think we’d be done.



If she wants to look single and take drinks from dudes and get sh*tfaced and be one of the “woo girls” then that’s her choice… but she’s giving me too much reason to think something could go on behind my back.


I think part of it is how much she was trustworthy, if her friends were trustworthy, where she said she was going, etc

[ManOnFire]

Better question is: can she trust herself? Is she dedicated to me enough not to become weak and end up sleeping with some guy? Is she truly loyal in her heart?

I'm not worried about her going places with her girlfriends, but more concerned about what will her heart do or not do in those situations.

[Tanisha69]

getting smashed or high can make a person weak even if they are normally solid

[ManOnFire]

@Tanisha69 Well, I guess that's why I wouldn't ever be in a relationship with a woman who does those things.

[Lliam]

I trust my wife. She has a circle of girlfriends and they have lunch or go to events together at least twice a week, or they go shopping. She even goes on weekend retreats or seminars every once in a while. I'm glad that she has friends with similar interests.
It's not like they're going out clubbing. She's not into the bar scene, so I don't worry. I never have.

[Finchie40]

Exactly if your wife is being respectful and not coming home odd hours of the night then by no means should you be worried , you only worry if she starts doing those things lol

[Lliam]

True. If she was getting all dressed up to go party with girlfriends at night, that would be a different story. But she's not into that. I married someone I can trust.

[Finchie40]

A partner can’t expect you to do things for them if they can’t do it for you bottom line , If you want to be selfish then I will be selfish myself , if you want space then I will take space myself , Don’t think I am going to be your sitting duck and punching bag while you are out seeking validation from others I will easily do the same , I don’t tolerate selfish behavior in relationships, I made that mistake before and I sworn to myself I will never tolerate that abuse again , that was my wake up call to value myself worth and realize I deserve someone that wants me like I want them I am not a connivence I don’t commit to be single , when my window starts closing it closes easier then before because i am not going to have a sucker written on my head for long , I will make it clear to her that I am not fucking around anymore and if she doesn’t realize what she is doing is wrong she is best to just continue what she is doing because she already proved to me that she doesn’t value and respect me , so I will start becoming selfish myself and have a wandering eye, once I have that wandering eye she is best to keep continuing what she is doing because before she finally realizes I will have another sucker on my other head that was waiting to have a turn. I can only resist temptation when I am with someone that resists temptation for me , I will not resist temptation for someone that needs validation from other’s and that chooses others over me , I can not make you a priority if you don’t make me yours. Why so many guys today do not want to get into relationships because girl’s are selfish people , they all say they want a man that has a good job , a good provider , a protector , values his family values his wife and when she finally receives that she throws it all away for some douchebag that she feels has higher status then the man she already has , I know this because I was the douchebag guy these girls were banging that were secretly married ,

[Finchie40]

Feminism and social media has destroyed relationships , the only way we can we can gain trust is with respect , without respect there is no trust

[Subarugirl]

I’d be absolutely fine with it no questions asked. I trust my husband, otherwise I wouldn’t have married him

[Finchie40]

trust doesn’t just come natural trust comes from respect , without respect you will not have trust. When we commit into a relationship with someone you have to remember that your single days have got to come to an end , you are a package deal now , it’s you and your partner VS the world , your partner should be your top priority over everyone bottom line , if your partner doesn’t feel ok with you doing something but you do it anyways that makes you a selfish person , Most people don’t grasp this concept and then they wonder why they end up single or cheated on , You can’t expect your partner to do things for you if you can’t do the same in return , you can’t set boundaries if you don’t follow them as well, If you choose to be selfish don’t bat an eye that your partner isn’t going to be selfish as well. For love to grow you both have to remove selfishness and prioritize each other and wear each others shoes before making decisions, I use To be committed to a girl that set boundaries with me, she would tell me things that she didn’t want me doing cuz it made her feel uneasy and insecure , so out of respect for our relationship I stopped the things that bothered her even though I was upset and angry I put myself in her shoes and thought how she must feel when I was going out with my friends , so to keep our love growing I I stopped going out with my friends like I was , things between her and I were amazing after a year or so she met a group of girlfriends that were pulling her away from me and she started doing the things that she told me not to do , A double standard , I pulled her aside and expressed my feelings of concern to her but she didn’t want to hear me all of a sudden I was insecure and didn’t trust her , I laughed and said ummm yea you are right I don’t trust you because now you are breaking the boundaries that you set in place with me , so it’s ok for you to do these things but not ok for me , I said ok I understand , go have fun , I will do the same

[Finchie40]

The second I started doing my own thing after I gave her plenty of time to sink in what I was telling her , she finally had a wake up call that I wasn’t fucking around anymore , so she put an end to seeing her toxic friends and tried coming back to my arms but by that time , it was to late , cuz the second I walk away it’s over , I don’t tolerate selfish behavior in a relationship , I will not be a punching bag for to long , I made that mistake once before and sworn to myself I will never tolerate that abuse ever again , so when I throw in the towel , I throw in the towel , and trust me there is always another girl waiting to take your spot wishing she had what you had , don’t ever think otherwise I will not cheat but I also will not wait until your selfishness goes away , I am not a Ken doll that you can play with when it’s convenient for you

[Subarugirl]

Big difference between trust and respect; and being a door mat. I’m referring to the former not the latter.

[Finchie40]

Not necessarily respect has to come first for you to be able to trust some one , without respect you can't really have trust , you can say you trust them but it doesn’t mean they will respect you , I trusted you but now I lost all respect for you because you didn’t do what you said , make sense lol

[Subarugirl]

Trust and respect are not synonymous nor are they mutually exclusive. One can exist with out the other, but that is want the point that I was making.

[RavVid]

Not that happy. I know one girl who went on a girls trip away to another city, fucked a bouncer and came home pregnant. The really bad thing she did was, twelve months later, she decided that she didn't like being a mom and dumped daughter for the "daughter's father" to raise alone.

I think guys have about worked out that girls aren't any better than us and everything to contrary is simply just false advertising.

[petitedollbabee]

He’s not a bar kind of person, but yes. He’s the more mature one in his friend group, and he doesn’t get drunk easily, so he’d be the one making sure no one gets into trouble.

[Anonymous]

It's totally normal to feel a little uneasy about your partner going out with friends of the opposite sex, especially if you've had trust issues in the past. However, it's important to remember that trust is a two-way street, and it's not fair to put all the burden on your partner to prove themselves trustworthy. If you have concerns about your partner going out with friends of the opposite sex, it might be worth having an open and honest conversation about your feelings and finding a compromise that works for both of you. Trust is an important part of any healthy relationship, and it's something that both partners need to work on together.

[Juxtapose]

Trust is either naivete or the acknowledgment that you could be betrayed but you're going to take the risk anyway because of social needs.

You're never going to meet someone that is 100% trustworthy because even you are not 100% trustworthy to yourself.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I do. I figure if I can't trust a woman to be with then why have her in my life?

It's just a waste of time and energy on my end.

You can't stop someone from cheating. It's impossible unless you tie her up where she can't leave the house and that isn't happening unless you are a psycho.

[Belgie]

You either trust them or you don't, regardless of the specific day.

If you don't trust them, why are you in a relationship with them?

If you're too insecure, why are they in a relationship with you?

[Adam1978]

If she still feels she needs to go clubbing after meeting me she isn't a keeper. So her girlfriend nights better involve something else.

[dustybiker]

Yes. Total trust. I’m texted frequently with fun little comments. Makes it impossible to worry.

[LazerBean]

Him and his friends are not bar people, but yes. All his friends are good guys. Not quite as good as my husband, but still pretty good.