Is exchanging online love messages cheating?

Question

We've never met in person and have no interest in proceeding to that level. He's in Australia and I'm in Georgia. Our love messages are just virtual; only in writing. There is no nude pictures included. We just write some of our fantasies sometimes and share our problems, family issues, etc. We both have our SOs but are dealing with other different issues.

We have to use the outside internet store and another username. Is this cheating?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

You are emotionally cheating on your partner , you are investing time into someone over investing time into your partner , the fact that you keep it a secret makes you a cheater , emotional cheating is usually worse then physical cheating because you are allowing yourself to open your heart up to someone else over opening your heart up to your partner , all you are doing for your partner is basically keeping secrets from him making you a selfish person so you can’t give your partner your full heart because you are giving a lot of it to this other guy , and same goes for the guy you are talking to , he is doing the same to his SO you both are cheaters , If you want your relationship to last with your current partner and you want to experience true love , you are going to have to end your friendship with that other guy period. How would you feel if your partner was doing that behind your back? This sort of thing causes resentments in relationships because little do you realize you are investing time into someone else over investing time into your your partner , which will lead you to start comparing him and holding resentments towards him especially if you like something better with this other guy over your partner , basically holding walls up to your partner and not giving him your full attention , because you are depositing into someone else , So you have to ask yourself what’s more important to you? Your relationship and love with your current partner or your relationship with this other guy? What you are doing is a selfish trait if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner they will not be able to remove selfishness for you which will lead you to both resent each other and point fingers at each other instead of pointing fingers at yourself. Love only grows when 2 people remove selfishness for each other and make each other your number 1 priority , right now your partner is not your number 1 priority , because little does he realize you are investing into someone else and keeping secrets from him , The only way a relationship will survive is if you treat your partner the same way you want to be treated removing selfishness for each other and accepting each other flaws and sacrificing for each other , if you can’t do that for your partner you will never experience true love , you will be best to latch on to this other guy to realize you will end up in the same boat as your ex cuz you will continue with having failed relationships

OfMiceandMen · Accepted Answer

I know you are looking for opinions on this one and I see so many other people asking similar questions - as to whether it is okay to talk to someone online while you're in a relationship already.

If it were me in the same situation, I would ask myself three questions to find out whether it is okay:

1st) Do I feel guilty talking to the online person? If you even have the slightest tinge of guilt, then more than likely the online relationship is the wrong thing to be doing.

2nd) Would my SO be okay with my online love affair if they were to find out? If you think the person you are with would be genuinely hurt by you sending love messages to another guy (even though he is online and in a different country), then you're probably doing something you shouldn't.

3rd) Put the shoe on the other foot - Am I okay if my SO has a close online relationship with another person of the opposite sex?

If you answered no to the first one, yes to the 2nd and yes to the 3rd, then you should just tell your SO, and most likely everything is fine. Good luck.

Msputiton · Accepted Answer

I say this.

Ask yourself this question. Would you be okay letting your SO see it and would they approve of your behavior.

If the answer to both of these questions is yes. Then it is not cheating.

If the answer to these questions are no. Then you cheating

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

“We have to use the outside internet store and another username. Is this cheating?”

that statement, those actions alone show you already know the answer, already know what you’re doing is wrong or you wouldn’t be trying to hide/cover it up right?🤷‍♀️

Guy13 · Answer

Exchanging online love messages, because both are missing that connection with your individual partner, is both betrayal and counterproductive. So you two get needs met from one another and then feel equipped to deal with your individual partners.

That energy, time, and emotional exchange does not belong to that guy. It belongs to your partner. I think it is fair to assume that Communication style between partners is lacking or greatly misunderstood.
Counseling if you two care about your individual relationship. Individual counseling for 3 months then bring spouses.

BoobSlayer · Answer

It's important to remember that pleasure and intimacy are not limited to sexual acts, and there are many ways to express love, affection, and intimacy. Every person has their own likes, dislikes, and preferences, and it's important to respect those boundaries. Love messages, like tying up someone's breasts, is a form of intimacy, it's a consensual activity that is agreed upon by both parties involved. It is not considered as cheating. However, if you are in a committed relationship, it is important to have open and honest communication with your partner about your desire to handcuff them to a restraining device.

nrm736 · Answer

Though it's not physical cheating, even you are aware of that it's not cool, that's why you're here, trying to justify what you do. You're going through the same process as if it was an actual cheating: you're having 'that special feeling you haven't got to get from your SO for a long time', so you're doing it shady, behind your SO's back because you know very well that if it turned out he'd be pissed as fuck - and he'd be right.

Despite you never slept with this dude, you still broke your SO's trust. You still humiliated him but in a slightly different way. So did your online sweetheart with his girlfriend as well.

I guess you're willing to risk your relationship for all this because you're not attracted to your SO anymore. Then you have to put it on a scale what's important for you, whether it's breaking up with this guy or with your SO or whatever because you're in a position right now from where you can only lose something.

RingOfFire · Answer

I have a simple test I use to determine what cheating is. Ask yourself how you would feel if your partner did the same thing you are doing. If you wouldn't like it then you are cheating.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Why can't you just do it with one of your friends? You know its at least bad to some extent because you're using some other internet and a different username. 😅 Imagine if your partner was. doing the same thing with another woman.

Anemone978 · Answer

If you have to hide it from your partner usually yes it is cheating... but its all up to what your SO thinks is cheating...

dustybiker · Answer

If someone you were in a close relationship with did it to you, would you consider it cheating?

Anonymous · Answer

You know the answer to this, of course it is. You're taking time away from your real relationship to play in the virtual world. I'm not judging you. I've done it many times myself. I'm just answering your question

Shy_Steve · Answer

The fact is he has an interest in proceeding to that level even if you don't. If you have been with another Guy or dating another Guy then it is definitely Cheating, Why would it not be?

blissinanarchy1 · Answer

Emotionally cheating. You’re creating an intimate (not physically intimate) bond with a man other than your SO.

Dav1dTh0ma389 · Answer

Whenever you're not being faithful, you are cheating I'm not a bible thumper, nor am I religious, but the bible does say, adultery is a sin, and part not being an adulterer is loyalty

TallAnon · Answer

If you have to ask; Check with your partner. If you don't want to, because he might react negatively, it's probably cheating. Cheating is the betrayal of expectations, confirm his expectations.

exitseven · Answer

If you cannot do this out in the open it is usually cheating.

RockyHammock · Answer

Entertaining the advances of any other man is 100% cheating

suzzieQ · Answer

If your partner new would they be okay with it? If the answer is no, that is your answer

In_Trance · Answer

This is retarded

WTFdivorce · Answer

If it's not cheating then it's certainly inappropriate and disrespectful to the one you are with.

Jhunitor · Answer

Tell your partner what your are doing since you believe it is not cheating.

Anonymous · Answer

Uh, yeah 😆😆😆 I mean it might not be as flagrant as boneing. But the intent is deliberate.

Anonymous · Answer

If the fantasies are sexual in nature, than its called emotional cheating.

panamared1 · Answer

Sounds like 2 friends sharing their everyday life, not cheating

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Yes. It's cheating.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Yes, emotionally cheating.

churbleburble78 · Answer

yes, unfortunately

Brando10222 · Answer

If it's love messages than yes, it's cheating

serious_miss419 · Answer

I suggest asking your SO if it’s cheating.

jimmy2 · Answer

Playing with fire one gets burned

mobiusforniner · Answer

Yes.

Mamasanma · Answer

Obviously

Anonymous · Answer

Obviously

tinkered83 · Answer

Most definitely 😡🤬

Anonymous · Answer

yes it is

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