If you found out your partner is cheating on you and was having an Affair with someone who is also married, destroying 2 families. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

[virtue2332]

The only thing you can do in an unfortunate situation like this. Have a real and dificult conversation with my spouse and understand that it doesn't affect my value as an individual. There are many different things that people consider cheating but they basically boil down to a breakdown in trust because one or both people failed to communicate their needs or feelings with eachother. Can it be worked out? That depends on the situation. It can be if thier is still genuine love. If working it out makes sense their has to be clear understanding on what led up to the incident and accept any responsibility. I've said before a lot has to happen before someone cheats and we are all capable under right conditions to cheat but lets face it they didn't trip and fall into eachother at the same time that their cloths were magically removed. I would hope that this was done while they were alone. I get it the thought of having sex with someone you find attractive to is appealing. Even more appealing if thier are problems at home. Its a selfish thing to do mind you and the thought almost always better than the act. I've never cheated on my wife but have cheated on a girl friend or two. I've had what some would consider a lot of sexual partners as well. What can I say I love women and I love sex. Have I been attracted to other women since I've been married Yes. I haven't cheated because I know how hard it would be for me to stay faithfull if I was alone with someone that was just as attracted to me actively seducing me almost zero undressed zero. It would be more about a selfish physical gratification over love at that point. So to not fall into the category of once a cheater always a cheater don't set yourself up to fail or make decisions that progressively are hard to get right when your brain is pumping drugs into your system. Have boundaries that prevent situations that are less than ideal to happen. I know from my past that there is almost zero chance of an encounter like this being worth betraying someone you love and made a commitment to. So Its not ever going to be easy to deal with but understanding what led up to it would matter to me at least and help me determine if it was salvagable. I would say there is always more to the story and they aren't necesarrily horible people. Selfish maybe.

[terry49]

as I have gotten older, I have changed my feelings on this and have realized it is not necessarily destroying anything. When my wife had an affair I was furious when I found out but decided to not confront her about it. She actually did not treat me any differently and our relationship did not seem to get worse but instead got better. We quit fighting and she quit complaining about what had seemed to be everything. The other man had apparently given her what she was missing in our relationship and the affair ended in about a year. That was almost 10 years ago and we are still together. I don't know if there have been other affairs but affairs seem to give both parties what each was missing and therefore allowing both the marriages to stay intact.

[Sour-rose]

Well destroying him would be so sweet. It would... but i wouldn't do that. Everything says take revenge for fkin' with me but... i think that's beneath me. I have times businesses have insulted me foR A MISTAKE and not one year goes by I wanna go back to said place and fk them up. Hell, i did that with my old job by slashing their tires. Not major damage but still I did it and my adrenaline was pumping. So to put it in words, just sit in my seat and act dumb until this mofo trips and it blows his legs off.

[KittyKat90210]

That would be the end of the relationship. That's a horrible thing to do to me and to the other person's spouse.

[AviatorTom]

This actually happened several years ago (1973) when two NY Yankee pitchers, Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich, swapped wives, after each found out they were cheating with the other's wife.

[Guy13]

I would be out if not married. Very poor judgment and love of self. Narcissistic in nature.

[OfMiceandMen]

I would bow-out and let them do what they want. I could at least hold my head high bc I wasn't the one who cheated.

I would feel sorry for the other family members, but , there isn't much I could do. If I knew the other family, I wouldn't say anything to the husband cheating with my partner. They just don't deserve my time or attention.

I've always been of the opinion, I am happy guy whether I'm in a relationship or not, so I'm not going to let somebody ruin it for me.

[Adam1978]

I would call that other persons wife and spill the beans and ditch my partner like a hot potato and really hope both their lifes are ruined they deserve that result. I don't ruin two families they did.

[virtue2332]

I would understand being upset and thinking these things but why hope thier lives are ruined if you had kids and it ruined the lives of one parent the kids would be affected also and just being able to blame the other spouse doesn't fix it. I know I've lived through this as a kid

[Adam1978]

So you rather live in a lie then deal with the truth? Cheaters needs consequences to learn and become examples of what to not do. So if you parents breaks up because one of them cheats. Doesn't that teach you a lesson to not cheat your future wife. Rather than the lesson you can do it and they just put a lid on it. I learned more things what to not do from my father then what to do. Both are valuable lessons.

[blueonblack22]

Well I am breaking up with her no matter if she apologizes or not. If she does own up to her crap I might one day forgive her (not the same as reconciling). But if she tries to blame for her bullshit decision then good riddens.

[Miristheiss]

Leave her and never have anything to do with her again.

I'd inform the other spouse.

I'd inform our parents, families and all of our friends and then I'd go no contact with her for life.

[AdithyaR]

Well there's not much i can do about the other family, it's their situation to deal with and i shouldn't get in the middle of it. With my partner, they'd be out of my life faster than they can say sorry, no explanation no arguing, just bye.

[Kinkyhubby]

Probably shortchanged the earth. She would have already destroyed my world, so I would destroy both of their worlds. I don't like Cheaters, my 1st wofe cheated on me while I was over seas. If you break my trust I am done with you.

[virtue2332]

was that millitary and a one year unnacompanied? Thats a long time especially if you got her use to Kinky Hubby

[JoshMa]

Would honestly get there best friend and raw dawg em on video then send it to them. This is just something than can eat you mentally and would want it out of me. Would then proceed to her twin if she had one aswell.

[virtue2332]

Thats exactly what I would expect a 22yo to say but the last thing you would want is to drag two more women into that kind of heated drama. They hold grudges longer than us and would only find a way to make the divorce more difficult than it would be if you held off making those moves until the divorce was done. The ball is in your court if she feels like a guilty piece of shit over pissed off. I feel like they always have an edge in court.

[ChiTown33]

Well it goes without saying that we would be over. But would I inform the other family? That I just don't know.

[LiamJHayden]

I would dump her. Cheating is a one and done.

[Brando10222]

I will be honest and tell the other person's partner too. It's needed cause both of them need to know the truth.

[Anonymous]

Inform the other spouse, concoct a double date, and propose that we swing/ wife swap... Watch their reaction

[TacosRAwesome]

I can only deal with my partner. The other person deals with theirs.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I'd end it with them. What happens to the other parties, I don't care.

[AydenHazor]

File for divorce and let the other person's partner know they're being cheated on.

[standardguy]

Start a relationship wirh the other cheated person hahaha

[Anonymous]

If you leave them because they’re a piece of shit human being, and they don’t deserve to have anyone love them.

[Derdeutschemann1988]

Shoo them both. Ruins the families at least quicker? True or not

[abbyjgriffin98]

I would leave.