My husband never said happy valentines day after we got married, is it normal?

Question

Before we got married he even bought presents for Valentine's day , is it normal now that he doesn't say happy valentines day?

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

It's normal for a tire to go flat, it just takes some time and a small leak. Can happen withe the sexist car on the planet and with a tired driver.

So, I just learned some psychology on this, to a degree, and it's normal. It's just not good. My wife explained this to me in simple terms but here's the neurochemistry:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/ISrZ4OuDfz4

We get a dopamine hit from the pursuit of a goal. Attaining the goal does not do that.

So here's the trick... your guy is just stale and it's his fault and his responsibility. You can reward him by letting him know that the best way to feel good, is to continually pursue you [and other goals]. That's how he will get a continual lift in satisfaction, dopamine, and ensuing rewards!

You are his chemical inspiration!

Maybe your relationship needs a boost of surprise, excitement respect and good communication. I'd surprise him with a vacation.

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

It sounds like he's smart. Valentines Day is nothing but a big commercial venture to get people to spend money.

I suppose this stands out more to me because it happened in my lifetime. When I was a kid, Valentines Day was something children did in elementary school. After that, nobody thought about it or talked about it. You didn't hear about it as an adult until many years later when it got commercialized. People (mainly women) were brainwashed to believe it was their due. They didn't think that way until they were told to by massive commercialization (peer pressure).

I absolutely refuse to acknowledge Valentines Day. If any woman I'm with thinks otherwise, then she's with the wrong person. But then most women I know are more sensible and think the same way I do about it, so it's not an issue.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think he is one of those humans on earth who simple checked - marriage- as Green Check✅! He simply got married because well media society and his mom told him too.
He doesn’t love you at all. And yes this is bad.
He doesn’t need to give you a gift but when you are marriage come on say happy valentines you won’t die good words and air is free. He can’t even give you something that is free. You are not even in his
- empathy radar - even my neighbor says Neighbor who’s an elder says Valentine’s Day why? Because it’s free and he cares for people who look after him.

MissHope · Accepted Answer

If he loves you and cares about you everyday then you don’t need him to express his love to you only in this one day in the year. You can celebrate it with him and have romantic day and enjoy it together. Bring him gifts or flower to remind him in a nice way, but don’t make big deal out of it. I guess most guys never really care about such things as we do but doesn’t mean they don’t care of love us.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's easy to get complacent after getting married. Do you do anything special for him on Valentines Day?

Apple1996 · Answer

Awh that is sad. Sounds like he was just putting in the effort while y'all were dating 😔

Guy13 · Answer

The romance sounds dead. Life after marrying?

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I guess he has stopped taking the effort to get your attention and keep you invested in him. He now knows that you are tied, as you are married.

You should talk about this with him. He should not take you for granted just because you both are married.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Not normal. I am not one for Valentine's Day either but I make sure she realizes I love her many other days throughout the year. If he doesn't do anything Valentine's Day that is one thing, but he should definitely make you feel special other times throughout the year.

Cubus · Answer

You do not have to celebrate Valentines day to be romantic.

I do not celebrate it. It's just a meaningless event created by big companies to sell products (the same with "modern Christmas" which is everything but Christmas). You don't need a special day to tell your dear person that you love her.

Now the case is if he is romantic and if he cares in overall. If not - then it's no good

driven159 · Answer

the novelty has worn off marriage does that so take the bull by the horns and do something special for him and maybe he will get the massage I will be taking my wife to Disneyworld for two days. At a resort and we have been together for 15 years so don't lose hope. Just need to break the cycle.

Pyrofox · Answer

I've found people will put in the effort if they feel like they are being met half way. If it feels one sided most I've found just kinda give up. A tradition is only a tradition if you keep it going.

Haha456 · Answer

some people just get married because being able to grow old with someone is better than dying all alone. Or sometimes people see marriage more of as a practical necessity rather than some romantic fairytale.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Yes. You know what me and my wife are doing for valentines day? Spending hours in a medical office together for an emergent health problem for me.

Once you're married, love is more than just roses and chocolate.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

He thinks he already got you and doesn’t have to work up to maintain being with you.  Workout, wear sexy clothes, be flirty. Treat him like your date.

kajsvjsion · Answer

I’d say you could start telling him happy valentine’s first. Some people may think you don’t care about certain holidays anymore. I’m probably going to try and do smth special for my boyfriend though it may be difficult since we are currently long distance.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Here's a question for you, how romantic is he afterwards? If he's still doing things like that periodically, one arbitrary day of the year doesn't matter if he's still taking the time to show you his love.

Anonymous · Answer

I hope this doesn't happen to me😳 talk to him about it and if nothing changes, I don't know actually. I just hope he loves you enough to care about what makes you happy. Itll be sad to stay in that kind of marriage for the rest of your life.

nawtee_me · Answer

You need the initiate that move first. Find something sexy to wear and that you know turns him on. Leave a valentines card out for him to see and if he doesn’t get the hint then let him know this could have been his and go to bed without him.

Nikki1989 · Answer

A truly happy marriage doesn't need Valentine's Day.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I don’t think so. That actually seems strange to me.

Anonymous · Answer

What's the point? Seriously. You are his valentine. You're his wife. Does he have to ask you to marry him again on every one of your anniversaries?

sheikalana · Answer

I never heard my dad saying happy Valentine's day. He often forgets about her birthday too. They've been married for over 33 years.

Anonymous · Answer

I honestly didn't know it was new year's even until I read it on GAG. It's no big deal.

Mac-One · Answer

Valentine's Day is just a big hype over nothing.

exitseven · Answer

Get the locks changed in your house , he will get the message.

Gloree · Answer

I see myself doing thesame to my future husband. but that's if he don't mind cause I don't hold that date dear.

John_Doesnt · Answer

What kind of presents have you bought for him on Valentine's?

OddBeMe · Answer

If it’s important to you I’d have said it. But my wife is ehh, so I haven’t had to. But why is it important to you?

Anonymous · Answer

you're MARRIED and you can't even ask your HUSBAND this? ? ?

MadAndBankrupt · Answer

Valentine isn’t for married people, its for fake relationships to survive for a day more

Anonymous · Answer

That’s what guys do. They smother us with love and affection and then when the rings on, they change completely.  It’s your choice getting into a marriage so u can’t be upset at this point.

dcelalina · Answer

Not normal.  Peoples shouldn't be change married later.  But you should be talk with him clearly. Nobody cannot find solution for your married.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

He may be Muslim because concept of Valantine day is not in. Islam

Chad345 · Answer

Nope. That's not cool.

genericname85 · Answer

do you still have date nights regularly?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Tell him he needs to shape up!

Iron_Man · Answer

No it’s not ask him why

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

stop chasing that day so much,

Wise4myage · Answer

No, and he doesn't sound very romantic.

ItalianKing02 · Answer

I’m 20 years old so I wouldn’t know

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No big deal. Don't make it one.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

We only do that to get in your pants

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it is a stupid made up holiday

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Grow up

My husband never said happy valentines day after we got married, is it normal?

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