Is it okay for your boyfriend to not even say happy valentines day?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend says his country doesn't really celebrate valentines day, didn't say anything the whole day and went to the gym instead, is it normal for men to just not have an interest in these things? I brought it up several times during the day and he just made like it was nothing

[WindAtMyBack]

I will never EVER give in to that money grabbing commercial holiday. When I was young they didn't do that nonsense. It wasn't until a few decades later that the marketing people brainwashed women to think they are entitled to it. The women in turn guilt trip the men into doing something for it. Nice marketing play for the money grabbers, but I refuse to be drawn into it. Fortunately the women I've been with were sensible enough not to fall for it either.

[JacobJordan]

He said his country doesn't celebrate it. If you want him to you need to show him why. If you celebrate it then take it as a chance to celebrate your love for him so he can see what it looks like. You have a chance to expand his horizons and to show him your love and your appreciation. Or you could continue being mad and upset and ultimately destroy your relationship.

[Asker]

But his country does celebrate it, just an excuse not to and I don't see why I should show him what it looks like cause I did try and he outright says he doesn't want to

[JacobJordan]

Well if he doesn't want to he doesn't want to. Does he romance you outside of v-day? Why is v-day important to you? Is it because of the day? Or something different? Another way to look at it if v-day didn't exist would you be upset at him for not romancing you on February 14th?

[Asker]

Well it's important cause my dad made sure I celebrated it before men so if I wanted my boyfriend to do it why not? And I'm not saying I want anything, literally just spend the day with me, which he hasn't been doing cause of work instead of going to the gym and brushing me off entirely cause 14th of Feb does in fact exist

[JacobJordan]

Ah. In that case he could have spent time with you. That isn't all that hard I mean you 2 are dating.

[Asker]

Precisely my reasoning

[sheikalana]

Of course! Is not written anywhere that you MUST wish Happy Valentine's day to anyone. Me and my husband never say it and when we do is in a joking manner.

[Asker]

Thank you 😊

[kylee2437]

A man will never be worth my time if he doesn’t make Valentine’s Day important.

[Asker]

Lol yeah I asked so if I won't be celebrating my birthday with him or valentines day with him what then and he made a joke and said we'll celebrate when his soccer team wins so yeah sucky

[kylee2437]

Ew a man making things about him only is a huge no.

[Asker]

Yeahh

[Summeroflove]

It goes both ways. There is men and women who want to make everything about them. When it should be equal effort.

[kylee2437]

@summeroflove and I agree, you are correct, however I feel like a lot of men hate this holiday because there’s pressure to give to women that they more or less don’t like enough more than their own ego.

[Summeroflove]

I think it kind of goes both ways. I think there is also a lot of demanding women. Who demand something. But then don’t offer anything in return. Such as they expect a expensive gift, dinner, etc. But. They don’t get their men anything or do anything special for them really

[Summeroflove]

Now. Valentine’s Day does not have to be all about money. It can be social by doing things for one another or just simply spending time together. People in happy relationships.

Unfortunately. Sone men and women are self centered

[kylee2437]

@summeroflove again I agree, but that doesn’t justify him completely ignoring how she feels about the holiday and going about his day. It overall shows he doesn’t care enough about her

[kylee2437]

@summeroflove that depends on the couple and what they have discussed, however if someone isn’t giving room to discuss and dismisses the convo like he did in this situation, then it’s not worth it.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah that is a point. Some people aren’t compatible though. I’m sure there is women out there who don’t care as much about it.

People also need to communicate with one another. About how they feel and if someone chooses to ignore the other person. Yeah they don’t care.

But there is men and women. Who get mad…. And expect the other perosn to read their mind

[kylee2437]

@summeroflove again you are correct, they probably aren’t compatible, still doesn’t change his shitty behavior, especially leaving your partner upset on a day that is considered important to them. It’s shitty

[Summeroflove]

I do agree with you. If someone says the holiday is important or theh express that they are upset by something. Their partner should listen to them and understand.

Now things happen sometimes out of someone’s control. Work, family issues, etc. But if someone isn’t doing anything that day. And someone says that holiday is important and rheh don’t care. Yeah I get it

[Likes2drive]

Even if his country doesn’t celebrate it, he’s not in his country anymore. He’s over here now and if he’s going to date someone that has that custom, then he should accommodate you. If he wants to assimilate. Lots of guys probably don’t like the holiday because they have to make an effort to show they care.

[Asker]

Unfortunately not everyone thinks that way

[Summeroflove]

I think you got your answer. His country doesn't. Now he does not legally HAVE to say it.

Maybe you aren’t compatible.

[Asker]

Maybe not

[DryGermanGuy]

Not being willing to follow a fake, Americanized „holiday“ means the ability to actually think for yourself. 👍

[Asker]

Not about the holiday, it's about caring enough about what your partner thinks

[SolitarySolace]

If not saying happy Valentine’s Day or not getting someone a gift on such a ridiculous “holiday” beings such frustration to women they shouldn’t be in a relationship.

[Asker]

Why does everyone assume it has to be about gifts gosh , nobody wanted a gift, I just found it weird that he'd rather go to the gym then spend the day with me when it's a holiday and his constantly working other days

[SolitarySolace]

Could have gone to the gym with him 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

Gladly if I was told, I got a message saying his gone, be back later and only later at night found out where he was

[DaBiggestBird]

Of course it is, it’s like skipping your sibling’s baby shower to see a new Godzilla movie or something, totally valid.

[DaBiggestBird]

I know I would. I mean have you seen Minus One?

[Asker]

Shitty really lol

[IWanNa_kNow]

Only if there was an emergency early in the morning or late at night before 12am

[Asker]

What do you mean

[IWanNa_kNow]

Also I feel if a man cares for you he should care about the things you care about unless religion or something ❤️ Happy Valentine's

[IWanNa_kNow]

I was say as if he an emergency stopped him from saying it

[Asker]

Thank you 💓 and true

[Tinat]

Yes, to me it is. If his love for you is true, his eyes would never lie. That's my opinion.

[jahaims]

Valentines day is just a way for corporations to make money. If you need to be told what day to celebrate your love then you are a moron.

[Asker]

Oh okay

[Astarlessnightsky]

Sure, its meaningless.

[Asker]

Right

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah, that holiday is dumb.

[Asker]

Oh okay

[Yannae]

It's okay in my relationship.

[Asker]

So ur girlfriend would be okay with it?

[Yannae]

She is. We did say it to her. But I don't celebrate it. I didn't prepare anything special, no gifts. We did nothing different from when we're usually together. I prefer showing my affection on random days as a surprise, just when I feel like I want to, not when I feel like I have to.

[Asker]

But you were together though no?

[Yannae]

We were.

[Asker]

Exactly and that's all I wanted🤷‍♀️ time and effort in general, i don't get much of his time on any other day so I assumed I would at least on that day

[Yannae]

Oh yeah, that's fair. That doesn't sound good. I'd communicate to him that you'd like to spend more time together.

[Asker]

Lol did , said he gives me all the time he can, reason why valentines day was so important to me cause I thought he'd at least feel obligated to

[Kykiono1]

If that's your culture it's fine

[Asker]

Lol it's not though

[KittygosMeoWW]

No….

[Anonymous]

That's not ok.

[Asker]

So not normal?

[Opinion Owner]

Correct.

[Asker]

Fair enough thank you

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome.