My girlfriend is asking for some stuff, am I being used?

[Jake1304]

My girlfriend is asking me to help her with her new project financially, i said okay but when you get incomes from the project you will handle it yourself she said no if i need you you will help me and by the way she is not jobless she is working with me.

also we’ve wanted to travel she said we can do 4 nights i said okay and i told her i wish we can do 6 nights but its kinda hard for me to do that she said okay we can only do 4 nights and she did not said okay i will deal with the other two nights..

what do you guys and girls think?

[WaterIsland]

Nope. I wouldn’t help her financially with her project. You aren’t married. You don’t have joint finances. The most I’d do to help her is give her my time, advice, and perspective. She needs to figure it out herself.


As for the number of nights in the trip. I wouldn’t say you’re being used there. It sounds like bad communication tho. If I were you, I’d ask her why she wants to go 4 nights instead of 6. Maybe she gets homesick after a while? Maybe she doesn’t like traveling? Maybe she just feels like 6 nights is too long of a trip? Could be any number of things. But that’s a conversation you both need to sit down and have, and come to a mutual understanding.

[Jake1304]

No bro she is a traveler and she is into that , she also working with me so she can if she wants

[WaterIsland]

Not sure what else to say. About the travel you need to sit down and ask her those questions. I’d only be speculating.

As for giving her money. I standby what I said. I wouldn’t help her financially with her project.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Slim info on the situation. I'm going to say yes she is using you for money simply because you asked. Trying to analyze this from the info you gave it looks like it is because you will be handing money over and there is no promise of anything in return.

For real bro... It sounds like you're in a pay for play situation. Slim info so I don't know for sure.

[BlackBeauty90]

@Jake1304 - sorry to tell you, you're being used.

a) When you commented that she can fund herself later on - with this venture of hers - and her response is no I'll still ask you that's pretty cheap of her.

b) When you commented that you would've liked to have done 6 days instead of the 4 you had already funded and she couldn't pitch in for a 2 measley little days.

If she wasn't using & abusing you and your money she'd be proud to fund herself with her venture and she'd been happy to have at least offered to pay for 2 extra days.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Listen to her... she's onto something bro.

[FreyaRed]

Gather information together without your personal wishes and imaginations. Then make a rational decision how to handle her.
The best option is when you don't lose her interest but you don't have to spend money. If her interest is depending alone on your willingness to give her money than you have to say good bye.

[coachTanthony]

Yeah everything was find until she said no and said she will just come back to you for more. Hell no. That is not good my friend.

[Guy13]

You are going to have an exciting and exasperating future. Try to keep it together.

[OlderAndWiser]

Wha are you getting out of this relationship?

[Miristheiss]

Dude, don't let another person's money woes and debts become yours. You are being weak. She can pay for this stuff herself. If you were married maybe you two could have a discussion about using your finances to cover her stuff but just a girlfriend?

Are you FREAKING kidding me?

[Anonymous]

I gave my girl $3,000 to fix her car once and paid for just about everything.
I probably ended up giving her close to $15,000 over the 6 years we were together.
She had massive debt and a hard time building capital, but she never asked me for a dime.
I just did it because I loved her and money doesn't mean shit when you love someone.
I just wanted to make her happy and worry free.
She always paid me back in payments, but I'd just end absolving her and telling her to keep her money.
I talk about it in past tence because she's in heaven now, which makes it all even more worth it.

Too many couples fight over who's paying for what, as if any of that even matters in the end.
I guess that's my point.

Unless she's constantly asking you for money or holding something over you until you buy her shit, it's really not worth even thinking about if you love eachother

[BlackBeauty90]

There's a HUGE difference between your scenario and what he said. Massive. So gigantic they're not even on the same planet. You provided the money without being asked for one.

Here even when his "girlfriend" can potentially fund herself through her business venture she admits she'll be using / asking for his money.

Here even though he apparently paid for 4 days of their trip and made a comment that he wanted to do 6 days, she couldn't even offer to pay for 2 extra days.

[Moose304]

On my last trip to Europe, my girlfriend asked me about going. I told her this was a work trip and I can't deduct her expenses. Also, I will be out in the field most of the time and you will be bored. She got angry but dropped the subject. She and I are planning a vacation to a place in the south Pacific in a few months. I have already warned her that I am not paying 100% of the freight!

[slatyb]

"My girlfriend is asking me to help her with her new project financially" That's almost always a hard no. How much is she asking for and how long have you been together?

[ArrowheadSW]

It is a big red flag. Odds are whatever this project of hers is, won't end up making money anyway.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Sounds like a leach. Don't give her nothing.

[msc545]

She is using you for money or trying to. Dump her.

[Ms_Facesitter]

She said "you will pay for it" she's expecting it. That doesn't seem right.

[Randalama]

What are you getting in return? Girl a five star chef? Nurturing? Gymnast? It's a marketplace.

[LazerBean]

It sure sounds like it.

[LiamJHayden]

I think you are being scammed.

[RavVid]

I think your money is her money.

[boobliker]

most odd 4 or 6 nights? is that sex or what?

[malwins]

Working with u as a „secretary“?