Me (21) and my boyfriend (23) have been together for almost a year now. Couple of months ago i found out my boyfriend hasn't been completely honest with me, as he claimed to be. I caught him lying to me about a lot of things, i found out randomly from one of his friend's girlfriend, that he cheated in previous relationship with the girl from their friend group. He didn't mention he ever cheated (only that the girl hurt him) or even that he had hooked up with the girl he introduced me to and let me hang out with.
I understood it to some point but then one of his friends said something to me that made me question the vacation that happened just when we got together. They have been on a boy trip to a party location and i before i hadn't even though about questing what happened there, whether he was unfaitful or whether anything i should be worried about happened. I didn't even ask about it, because i trusted him fully. But then there were adding up, I kept on asking and requesting some rational explanaition and he eventually admitted that he hooked up with couple of girls there and was too ashamed to tell me. He had done that while he texted me how much he missed me and was looking forward to see me. He did that after he already introduced me to his family and friends. I can't just get past the fact that he touched other girls after he touched me just a while ago.
Now i dont see him as a person i used to in the beginning. I dont want to treat him as good as i did, I can't trust him like before, but i still love him and im trying to get past that and to trust him again. I just feel like there's so much resentment and it starts to form me into a person im not. I also caught myself thinking of getting even but i dont want to be that person. It would also mean the end of the relationship and I know he's trying to make everything right. I just need to know how to get past this. Any advice?
