I cheated on my long term long distance boyfriend. How to get over it?

[Anonymous]

I'm 22 years old. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years. I really love him and I think he is a perfect person. We are both each other's first love and first relationship, apart from that I have never experienced anything special with anyone in my life. It's just him. We have been in a long distance relationship for the last few years, we have seen each other very little, especially in the last 2 years. So I started feeling like I'm not in a relationship anymore. We are just texting all day and when I see other couples around me It hurts. I had to move to a new place for work and I felt very lonely in this place. We became friends with someone and I didn't tell him I'm in a relationship because it felt so good to meet him and I didn't want him to stay far away from me. We were having normal friendly dates, but yesterday he came across a moment when I was feeling very lonely and bad, he told me that he had been in love with me for a long time and we suddenly kissed. I feel very guilty and sad. I feel the pain of having done something I thought I would never do. My boyfriend is very strict about cheating, if I tell him I cheated he would never and ever talk to me again. I can't lose him because there is no one as perfect as him for me. That's why I shouldn't tell him and move on somehow. I'm thinking of not meeting the friend I kissed but if I don't meet him again, I'll be alone where I live and I'll hurt his feelings too by leaving him suddenly since he is in love with me. I don't know what to do, this feeling is suffocating me. Please can someone help me?

[madhatters4]

tell your boyfriend. if you truly love and respect him you will tell him. the reason you suggest not telling him are 100% selfish. if he breaks up with you that's his decision but it is not your position to keep it from him.

i think the reality is that you may need to reconsider even being with your boyfriend. you are clearly tempted to sway and clearly unhappy being in this long distance relationship.

but the first thing you should do is tell your boyfriend. lying to him is not fair, honorable, or indicative of loving someone

[BoopBoopBeep]

Wow.

"I can't lose him because there is no one as perfect as him for me. That's why I shouldn't tell him and move on somehow. I'm thinking of not meeting the friend I kissed but if I don't meet him again, I'll be alone where I live and I'll hurt his feelings too by leaving him suddenly since he is in love with me."

No accountability. More concerned about your friend's feelings than your boyfriend's, who must not be TOO great because you couldn't keep from swapping fluids with that other guy and argue that you'll be alone where you live. That's so trashy. Just... all of it. I need to go shower just reading that level of narcissistic trash.

[MorningDew90]

If it was only once and you feel guilty don't tell him. You already experienced shame and guilt. It doesn't make any sense to make your boyfriend feel also bad.

Be honest with him, that you feel lonely. That you need to meet more often. That you love him.

[HelpfulWoman]

XD XD "i love him" no, you don't.
End it with the long term boyfriend. because if you "love him" you'd know he deserves better.

[AviatorTom]

Simple... don't cheat again. Concentrate on being good with your boyfriend.

[aceleon]

are you saying she should lie and keep this from the poor guy? well i do hope you would be good with that to, having a girlfriend since you were a mere teenager than her cheating on you and you never learning it having a relationship based on lies and betrayel?

[love_conquers_lust]

Bad advice, Tom

[RavVid]

You are running two boyfriends at this moment and are fairly selfish in wanting both. So I would there is not genuine love since it is about yourself only.

You boyfriend is entitled to 'be strict' about cheating as most guys and girls are. I think you need to make a decision about which guy you want.

[JacobJordan]

If you loved your boyfriend you wouldn't have cheated. Relationship is over. Whether you tell him now or he finds out later he will find out and the longer it takes the worse it will be. Good news you have a new boyfriend. Though if he finds out you cheated on your last boyfriend he'll probably leave you too.

[exitseven]

Long distance relationships are hard. Even under the best circumstances they are not much fun. I did exactly what you just did. It was a moment of weakness and it just happened. I regretted it and I never did it again. We broke up a few months later but it had nothing to do with what I did.

[boggboss]

What answer are u looking for gear u clearly only care about yourself so why pretend that u care about not cheating again or meeting this guy u went into that situation already to some degree with shadey motives

[patrick994]

The best way is to leave him, those who cheat once will cheat a second time, if you don't want him to suffer, please be honest with him and yourself, break up with your boyfriend, you don't really love him, he deserves better.

[VikingWarLord]

Read the book "Sex At Dawn" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan

You'll learn more about yourself and WHY you "cheated".

[Billlewis]

Why should you try to get over it? I don't think you should feel guilty at all.

[Blueeyes81]

Its not going to get better by remaining long distance and remaining in temptation. If you want it to work either you or your boyfriend need to move. If not you'll go further next time.

[Drumlin2001]

Your boyfriend deserves better. Come clean with him, and see if you can salvage relationship

[love_conquers_lust]

You need to confess and face judgement. Then decide if this guy is as perfect as you think he is.

[DextroShade]

Long distance is a joke and this is a good example of why.

[Anonymous]

I don't get it! If he's so "perfect" and the one for you, why the hell would you do this? Are your hormones stronger than your brain... or heart?

[TdotRep2023]

Move on, real relationship is love when ur with a person.

[Anonymous]

i assume your boyfriend was the one who asked you out and hit on you

[Wise4myage]

Start with telling him the truth.

[Anonymous]

Long distance relationships are not relationships.