Are protective women turn off for you?

[Anonymous]

No!

Yes!

[MrOracle]

I'm fine with a socially protective girl - if, say, someone was spreading rumors about me and she corrected them, that would be fine.

But physically protective? No. I only date feminine women, and physical protection is my job. I certainly wouldn't be with a girl who creates or escalates physical conflicts, but I certainly don't want or expect her to get physically involved - I want her to be SAFE and so I would want her to stay out of it if it comes. There's far more chances of bad things happening if she gets involved - she could become a hostage that is used against me, for example.

While there are a handful of exceptions - I wouldn't want to fight Gina Carano - most women aren't going to be effective fighting a man 6 inches taller and 50 % heavier than she is anyway, which is likely to be the reality for most women.

I once sparred with a girl who was a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and she hurt me pretty good, but couldn't stop me - my size and ability to soak up punishment was too much of an advantage, despite having only a fraction of her training. And she would be the first to tell you that she wouldn't stand much of a chance at a straight up fight with a determined man - she would have to count on surprise to create an escape.

It's been more than 20 years since I have been in a real fight, but I have seen many up-close in bars and out in the world, and they are often brutal, and permanent injuries aren't rare. I don't want my girl involved in any of that if there is any way to avoid it. I have pulled my girl out of a couple of parties/events and left because tensions were building and I wanted no part of that for either of us. Better to walk away if you sense an impending problem, even if you miss out on some "fun".

[Mewzinc]

I'm sorry but this entire post you wrote was really hot. Glad to know there are men like you still out there.

[MrOracle]

@Mewzinc Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who think this behavior is "toxic masculinity" that that pulling them out of a party (where violence was imminent) is "controlling" and "denying her a good time." I don't date those women myself, but a few of my friends have, and have had their girl put both of them in much more danger than otherwise.

I discuss these things in advance with the women I date, and there's usually a brief reminder before we go to any event. I have a couple of codewords that mean "get your shit and we're leaving immediately, no discussion" and "we're leaving right fing now, forget your stuff and RUN!" They know that I'm not going to use those words for no good reason, but that if they hear them, their safety is at risk, and they need to MOVE, RIGHT NOW. Luckily, I've only had to use them a couple of times, and the girls did what I told them to do. One of those was a big festival concert and there ended up being huge fights and lots of people went to the hospital. The other time, we were on the commuter train coming back from a baseball game, and two big drunk guys were fighting. I very nearly got involved because one of them got pushed at me and the other one nearly hit me swinging. By the time I got her headed to the next train car, one guy was out cold on the floor, but he and 3 other guys were bloody.

[Mewzinc]

Dang I could listen to you talk all day. I grew up on John Wayne so I'm down for it.

[Mewzinc]

Aw it's so nice that you care. I feel like old school dudes with your ideology about fiercely protecting the lady is rare now. Your words are music to my ears. Do you remember that movie The Bodyguard? It makes think of that. Falling in love with the guy who protects you.

[MrOracle]

@Mewzinc The world can be a dangerous place. You have to take safety seriously, and the best way to avoid disaster is to avoid problems (run away) anytime you possibly can. in my opinion, too many people don't take things seriously enough, and sometimes they get badly hurt or even killed. I'm no John Wayne or John Wick - I don't go looking for trouble, and in fact I go out of my way to avoid it, but any women or kids that are with me, and probably those around me, I can't just let be hurt by someone. I don't know how I'd live with that, and if I have to put myself at risk to protect them, I will - and I have. I certainly didn't like it - it was just the best of the bad choices.

[Mewzinc]

You are without a doubt a good man. Your parents raised you right. I'm sorry that you had to put yourself at risk a few times. But I think it is admirable and respectable. You are the true definition of what a man should be. You should feel proud of yourself!

[MrOracle]

@Mewzinc Well, thanks, but in my opinion, that should be the expectation, rather than being seen as anything special. Of course, it would also be nice if more women actually appreciated the men who took those risks on her behalf. Clearly you are among those who do, and *I* definitely appreciate it.

[Guy13]

For me personally, aggressive and man-like women are a turnoff. A woman who feels like must protect you the way I want to protect her is a blessing. Mutual share love is a blessing.

[SusanColleen]

My husband was getting unwanted attention and flirting from a female coworker. I came close to beating her ass, but didn’t want to get in trouble. I saw her in the restroom at a bar once, I strongly pinned her to the wall, informed her if she hit on my husband again, I would thrash her publicly, strip her, and cut off all her long hair. She never hit on Todd again

[Pinay_ako]

If it’s a mutual protective mode, it’s not a turn off. My man has my back, I have his. But not mother bear protective mode on. That’s a turn off 🤣. You’re not his mom. You’re his woman.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I kinda feel like as a man... you're an open target unless you do have a woman protecting you. Women think twice about trying to destroy a man when he's married. I'm not saying all women... just the ones that are sheer fucking evil and will accuse some random dude of shit they didn't do... the ones that give women, in general, a bad reputation.

I'm safe because I have my alibi for where I was last night. I get slammed against a cop car and my wife going, "WTF are you doing to my husband?" is the only reason I get out of that mess. I was with her all day, and my kids, my alibi is set in stone... and no, I'm not the guy that lives downstairs. If I was single and just happened to live upstairs from some psycho... shit out of luck, and nobody cares.

The having a woman thing has protected me from so much bullshit. Like not trying to joke about that at all. It really has. I've had women that barely know me to start to try and pull off some lie... and then they back off as soon as they find out I'm married and not the target they wanted out of a man. I'm talking like rape and that kind of stuff. Stuff I wouldn't ever do. And I shit you not, I'd be in prison for something like that despite not even having the willpower to do such a thing if I was single. Single dudes are like walking targets for women... If you got a woman though, those trash women will back off and leave you alone.

[big_ben_007]

I really needed to hear this! Shoot, every guy needs to hear this! Thank you for sharing, very solid point you made there.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Women who feel the to offensively protect their man when he is with you is a turnoff. Don't speak out aggressively just because you subconsciously feel protected with be there to help. If you wouldn't act that way while you didn't ha e anyone to protect you then don't do it when you do.

From a defensive perspective, if she indifferent and and not a single thing would ever make her even the slitest jeolous, then that indifference would be questionable as to her true feelings. So if she recognizes possible things that could harm the relationship, and protects it by speaking out, that's good

[misogynistic_pig]

Some women protectors may be viewed negatively.

Women who present themselves as protectors are condescending or patronizing, which can undermine my own autonomy and ability to make decisions for myself.

Some may appreciate women who care about their well-being and safety, as long as that concern doesn't imply an imbalance of power or a loss of autonomy.

In short, some protective women may be viewed negatively, but some may value genuine concern for their well-being and safety.

[Haha456]

you're a dumbass. if your woman is not protective towards you, you should not be with her. she does not love you. ask yourself: why would anyone not be protective towards those who she loves?

[Asker]

I just asked the question to know other opinions.

Because currently "male, female things" are growing rapidly in the society. I just wait for some people who likes to think humanly, just like you.

[Adam1978]

Depends on context, I don't need a woman stepping in on my account. That is usually an overstep which I don't like. Women should protect the kids not the man, she is second defense there. Ie if he goes down she can step in.

[ZackBan]

Definitely not. It is a great form of validation that she is invested and intersted.
Of course as long as it doesn't turn into a controling toxic behavior where she loses her mind whenever I gotta go somewhere without her

[WanderingLoveWizard]

They're not a turn off per se, but I don't need a woman to protect me.

A woman protecting her child is sexy as fuck though. Don't mess with a woman's baby

[Pegases]

Women that haven't been conditioned to hate men aren't popular anymore. So by default women that do care about men, are a turn on.

[jshm2]

You mean "psycho bitches, who are possessive of their man". Despite the man not even wanting to marry them.

[spartan55]

Protective in what sense? Like from other women hitting on me? Becoming a crime victim?

[KlinkyCoder]

No, it depends on the circumstance, like if I wanted to protect and save myself she can respect that but it's not a turn off for her to be strong and protective herself.

[Heterosketero]

Protect me from gross women sure, get up between me and some dude, nope.

[humanearth]

No not at all, actually It kinda makes them more attractive to me

[LiamJHayden]

My female friends are pretty protective of me. But physically? Maybe when I'm old and feeble, but now it would be weird.

[llorando]

Protecting me from women is a plus, and have no problems protecting her from men, It's a win win situation.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Just as long as she isn't violent. I wouldn't mind having someone that's a little possessive.

[Juxtapose]

No, it would be a welcome change of pace actually.

[Shiningtempest]

I see protective woman as a major turnoff. I see it as a turnoff because I see it as a major sign of toxic behavior.

[Sasha0426]

As long as you can protect yourself without help, awesome 👍

[Sasha0426]

Just be sure to upfront with your partner that you don’t need her help protecting you from anything and you can handle it.

[Shiningtempest]

@Sasha0426 I have to protect myself because I can't figure out when I'll get backstabbed.

[Sasha0426]

Then being in a relationship is definitely not for you.

[notwoke]

exactly how is a woman going to protect me? Please protect me from blue balls

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No, but I don't need a woman to protect me.