Men don't commit to a girl after wasting her time because she is not worthy of their commitment,. Do they do justice to that girl?

[Anonymous]

Men don't commit to a girl after wasting her time because she is not worthy of their commitment,. Do they do justice to that girl?

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+1 y

Is it her fault? Will you blame the girl or that man?

[MrOracle]

Each of us are responsible for our own outcomes. The decisions that resulted in those outcomes were our own.

If, as a man, if I spend a bunch of money taking out a girl who isn't really into me, and then the money runs out and she leaves me, whose fault is that? Here's a hint: it's MY fault. I neglected to set boundaries and expectations with her, because I was afraid to lose her (because I knew from the beginning that she wasn't really into me), so I was stupid and made myself vulnerable to her gold-digging. I could have cut her off at the beginning or anytime after, but I didn't. My fault.

Just the same, if a girl gets with a guy, and sets no boundaries or expectations, and he uses her but never commits to her, that's HER fault. She almost certainly knew he wasn't interested in a commitment from the start, but she still wanted him and thought she would win him over somehow, and she broke every rule that would have protected her because she was hoping to keep a guy who didn't want to be kept. Her negative outcomes are her own fault.

If you were dating with the intention of getting a commitment, you would behave very differently, and you would vet every potential partner from the beginning, and you would have no problem immediately walking away from any and every guy who wasn't willing to commit to you. If you don't date with intention, then why would you expect to get a commitment. 99 % of the time, you won't get one unless you insist on it from the start.

The problem, of course, is that you want to pursue only the top guys - the ones every other girl wants too. You know you can get a commitment from other guys, but you don't want those guys, they are ugly and boring (compared to the top guys), so you go for the top guys who will never commit to you and will just use you. Your outcomes are your own responsibility.

But it's even worse than that - every year that goes by, your value on the relationship market falls, and every body you add to your count, it falls more, so soon even the boring guys won't take you seriously for a commitment, and the top guys eventually won't even want you for casual sex, because they'll have younger girls available to them.

So, IF a serious, committed relationship is important to you, then your best outcome is to seek it sooner rather than later. The younger you are, the better the options you have for a relationship partner who will commit to you, which also means that the longer you wait, the worse your options will be.

Whatever you choose to do, the outcome is your responsibility.

[Anonymous]

It's not fair or just for someone to waste another person's time and emotional investment if they have no intention of committing to a relationship with them. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and honesty in their relationships, and it's important for individuals to communicate their intentions and expectations clearly and honestly from the beginning. If someone is not interested in a committed relationship with someone, it's important for them to be honest and upfront about their feelings and intentions rather than leading the other person on or wasting their time. Ultimately, it's up to each individual to determine their own values and priorities in relationships, and to act in accordance with those values.

[Anonymous]

By "commit", I'm assuming you mean asking her to marry him.

Here's the problem women have created for themselves... half or marriages end in divorce, women initiate 80% of divorces, and men get screwed in divorce court and child custody. On top of that, women have made casual sex outside of marriage the norm now.

Women have shot themselves in the foot by making marriage too costly and sex too cheap. It should come as no surprise to women now that men are not interested in getting married anymore.

To answer your question, I don't necessarily blame you, but I do blame your entire gender. Women have done this to themselves.

[LiamJHayden]

This is not specific enough. By wasting time do you mean intentionally, knowing he will never commit? That would be cruel. But it could be that he spends time with her to see if he should commit, and decides that he should not. That is just life.

[Anonymous]

You may see it as wasting her time, but if she's not worth the commitment, then she's a waste of his time.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

She's the one that decided to be with this guy.

[Anonymous]

If she's not worthy of commitment like if she's a slut, then justified.

[Wise4myage]

Sure, if she has it coming.