How do I decide if I want a relationship or not?

[Imjusthere123]

I asked a guy out back in October/November time and he said he liked me but asked to just be friends after debating over it and I agreed.

Now months later we never stopped liking each other and he admitted he sometimes regrets saying no back then. But for our own separate reasons we are hesitant on relationships and have agreed to just vibe it out.

But now that the option is on the table my feelings keep fluctuating and he admitted its the same for him. At times I really wanna date him and I can't see him as just a friend and then at others I struggle to see him as anything more than a friend.

I thought maybe I was just obsessed with the chase but I've never been particularly interested in dating at all and it's not a relationship I think about its him that I think about. Everything he does just seems perfect to me and I want nothing more than for him to be happy and to me he's the most attractive person on the planet.

But despite all my feelings for him when the opportunity seems to be arising I hesitate on a relationship. My ex was abusive so that's probably a part of it but also I think I just don't believe he likes me.

His feelings fluctuate as well and he hasn't figured out why yet but I always presume he's just not interested and is just confused. Then when I think he's not interested in me or a relationship my feelings start to change as a defense mechanism.

I'm unsure of what to do because no matter how many times he's there for me and says he cares about me and says he likes me I just always take it with a grain of salt.

On top of that I'm not even 100% sure if that is why I'm hesitant or there's another issue below the surface. We've agreed to just vibe and feel it out but I'm just constantly lost on what to do and everytime I think I have it figured out something changes. I also fear I'll end up hurting him if he decides he does want a relationship but I still hesitate.

What should I do?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have a lot of conflicting emotions and uncertainties about whether or not you want a relationship with this guy. This is completely normal, and it's okay to take your time and figure out what you want.

One thing that might be helpful is to take some time to reflect on your own feelings and needs. Ask yourself what you really want from a relationship, and whether or not this guy is someone who can meet those needs. Think about what your boundaries are, and what you need in order to feel safe and comfortable in a relationship.

It's also important to communicate with the guy and be honest about your feelings and uncertainties. Let him know that you're still trying to figure things out, and that you appreciate his patience and understanding. This can help to build trust and strengthen your connection.

If you're worried about hurting him, it's important to be clear and honest about your feelings and intentions. Let him know that you're not ready for a relationship right now, but that you're open to exploring the possibility in the future if your feelings change. This can help to avoid misunderstandings or hurt feelings down the line.

Remember that it's okay to take things slow and to prioritize your own emotional well-being. Take the time you need to figure out what you want, and trust your instincts when it comes to making decisions about your relationships.

[Blues36]

first you should know enough