In childhood I had an anxiety of public speaking, but I had to do that often, cause I was the smartest in the class and just everywhere, so they always put me on display in every competition so I always had to oppose my fears.
At some point in university I became a champion of public speaking competition and a few countrywide debates. I was charismatic and quite good at it, even though I still had the anxiety, but I knew how to control it. So I was really great at public speaking, have won i lots of competitions. I even trained people for public speaking when I was just 21. And had gone through the great success for my age thanks to that ability of mine.
When I got a boyfriend and started to travel, I quit my old ways of living and it’s been 4 years I haven’t done public speaking.
Until today, I had to do it today and I felt like I was a teen again, my anxiety came back, my mouth got dry and my hands felt shaken. I haven’t felt like this maybe after 13.
I had an urge to say, “No, I won’t do that again”! but then remembered that my forte has always been opposing my fears and I have already made my weakness into my strength in the past, so today I talked with my employers that they give me more of it, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, everyday for 2 weeks, I will have to do it.
I feel like that will help me get my confidence and charisma back and be great at it again.
I am lowkey proud of myself that instead of quitting what made me uncomfortable, I even asked for more.
How often do you go against your fears and prove yourself that you’ve still got it?
I believe sometimes being silly is a bigger virtue than being smart.
