Help with frustrated boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend can is occasionally really easily frustrated when things don’t go his way. Most often it’s in relation to school (college students) where he doesn’t get as good a grade he’s expecting or messes up on a project/presentation. Whenever something like this happens and it pushes him over the edge he becomes really self deprecating, talking about how he’s the dumbest of his friends and classmates and he can never do anything right, things of that nature. I do my best to reassure him and comfort him but it’s never any help especially because I’m a lot more go with the flow and tend not to stress as much about grades and whatnot. Any advice on how to comfort him?

Anonymous · Answer

It's understandable that your boyfriend may feel frustrated and self-critical when things don't go as planned, especially in a high-pressure environment like college. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, and to prioritize his emotional well-being and self-esteem.

One way to comfort him may be to validate his feelings and experiences, and to remind him that it's normal to feel frustrated or disappointed at times. You can also encourage him to focus on his strengths and accomplishments, and to take a more balanced perspective on his academic performance.

It may also be helpful to encourage him to seek support from other sources, such as a therapist, academic advisor, or tutor. These resources can provide practical advice and emotional support, and may be better equipped to help him with specific academic challenges.

It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend, and to prioritize his emotional well-being and self-esteem. It may take time and patience to find the right approach, but with empathy and support, you can help him navigate these challenges and build resilience for the future.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Don't comfort him. All you're doing by comforting him is reinforcing his behavior and making his "poor me" thinking worse.
If every time he pouts and starts feeling yourself, you rub his back and tell him how great he is, he gets a huge shot of dopamine and endorphins and his brain says "do more of that!".

Next time he's being a little bitch over nothing, ignore him. You don't have to be rude about it, but don't give in and start comforting him. Eventually he'll knock that shit off

noohair · Answer

Has he been evaluated for ADD or ADHD?

Help with frustrated boyfriend?

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