How to let go of an unwanted attachment I have with someone?

[Anonymous]

I have an unhealthy attachment to the guy im with. I know this because I've tolerated things i never would’ve done before i met him. I love him but we bring out the worst in each other. We’re both too attached as well. I've tried breaking up a couple times before but we always end up being back together again. The last time we broke up, i thought was for good, and i felt like i was sick to my stomach for days until i saw him again. I dont want to keep doing this but i just dont know how to make it better. Any advice?

Updates

1 y

He also always fights so hard for us to keep the relationship which makes it so much harder. How can i let him go for good?

[Finchie40]

The reason you are arguing and fighting so much is because you both like each other too much , and afraid to admit it to each other , so you both hold walls up to protect yourselves from getting to attached to each other , so even though you both are butting heads you both have deep passion for each other , usually those are the relationships that actually last , because you both balance each other out , so as long as you both hold on to each other and don’t cheat on each other , your relationship should last , eventually you both will calm down and not argue as much once you both realize you will be lost without each other , Usually the relationships that don’t have disagreements and butting heads are the relationships that don’t last , Cuz there is no passion for each other, Most girls that i have been in a relationship with will eventually get to a point where we are butting heads and disagreeing with each other it’s a test to see if we both really want to be with each other it’s still a 50/50 chance if you can both work it out

[MementoMori777]

You have to stick with the decision unfortunately, if the relationship is bad then what's really the point, it seems like both of y'all are more scared of being alone than actually caring for each other because if y'all did care for each other, the relationship would be happy, this is clearly not love, it's something else, seems more like fear of loneliness and tolerance, it's also possible that y'all both love the old versions of each other and it's why y'all tolerate each other but if y'all were still currently in love with each other, the patience would be through the roof, the only way to overcome this is unfortunately the same thing, breaking up but sticking with the decision.

[itsalyssaagain]

Feeling sick to your stomach is a normal thing and feeling attached and that you need to go back is also a normal thing when you break up with someone you like.


Everyone that goes through a break up experiences these symptoms, but disciplined people who know what they want and deserve persevere.


Girl I’ve broken up with almost all of my exes and you don’t think I’ve cried myself to sleep for weeks? Felt so sick to my stomach that I lost 10kg?


But I know what I deserve and I know this is temporary. I look at the bigger picture. I am disciplined enough to persevere and never go back to someone who disrespected me.


Also another way is you must cut off all contact. Out of sight out of mind.

[swwetsparkle]

it's hard to. it really is, give it a few months, years. but before doing that, DISTRACT YOURSELF. meet new people. Look, it's absolutely normal feeling that way, you are human. You can't make those things go away even if you wanted to. I am going through the same shit for 2.5 years. But I will do my best to avoid thinking about this person I loved. It's life. But trust me things will get so much better with time, one day you will wake up and feel disgusted at the thought of this person. It's a journey and a battle you have with yourself. Don't let it win you over.

[Asker]

This really helps. Wish i could give another mho, thank you.

[RingOfFire]

Moving on is one of the hardest things there is in life. But you are wise to have reached the point where you realize the relationship is not right for you. Sometimes you just have to be brave enough to do what needs to be done and focus on the future instead of the past. Think about the feeling of freedom you will have when you are finally free of this hopeless burden and liberate yourself. You deserve to be happy. But you have to take the actions that will make that happen. And it isn't always easy. You need to find the strength to tell him that you wish him well, but it is over. And then stick to it.

[LittleSally]

That is a really tough one.

I'd say, and I know it's easy to say and difficult to do, to try to emmerse yourself in the cmpany of other people, people who make you feel good, happy, refreshed, and help you move your thoughts away from him for at least some time.

Also having more busy time and being less 'available' for your own thoughts at this time and for him as well - will do your good.

And then, after a few months of no contact, you can give yourself into your emotions and mourn this loss, and slowly get better on your own, because you are strong enough and you can do it - do it for yourself!

[hiyamotherfers]

So basically I had someone speak on it the other day. They said to replace the bad habits with good ones because if you just try to replace the bad and you dont fill it more bad ones will come in. You have to physically put in the good ones to get the good ones. I hope this makes sense. I know how your feeling I think at least all people have been through it once.

[TheMrRobot]

If you really want to let go and don't know how to. Let me give yoh a small trick. Start surrounding yourself with people who are more fun and with whom your interests match. (It's better if they are the opposite sex). Start spending time with them instead. When you do that, whatever you feel for your current partner will start to fade away.

If you can't cut off from him, simply find more interesting boys and spend time with them. You will eventually forget about him.

[catiecatie]

Girl let me know what you find out. I’m in the same boat and I don't know if I ruined my chance or not with my guy. I hope I didn’t but I don't know.

[msc545]

Get professional help - it would be better if you both went together.

[Anonymous]

Let's hurt eachothers n called it love...

[Asker]

Ok thanks for the help?

[Opinion Owner]

It's not love it's called you both are addicted to eachother just like bad habits...

[itsalyssaagain]

I agree ^

[Anonymous]

do you love each other?