My girlfriend posts revealing pictures on social media and its bothering me?

[Anonymous]

Me and my girlfriend pretty much talk about anything and i really like her

but is it normal that she posts revealing pictures of her in social media? and when we talked about it she got aggressive (its the first time that i see her like this honestly).

And her arguments were pretty much like

"my body my life my choice"

"i really like my body and i am proud of it so why can't I " and yeah this kind of stuff...

Those argument kind of make sense from the outside but deep down i really think its disrespectful and makes me feel uncomphtable

So is this normal? whats your perspective as a girls and guys what would you do if you found your self in a similar situation

[mikan_galena]

I’m sorry. You did not deserve the aggression you were faced with.
I think you two need to sit down and talk about this boundary, because it’s important to you, so it should be important to her. To me, it doesn’t matter if the subject of your boundary is her social media posts, my opinion would be the same if she was chewing with her mouth open or not rinsing toothpaste from the sink. If you’ve established a boundary that is meaningful to you, and your partner ignores it / fights you on it / sneaks around to do it / etc. then that is a breach of trust and respect.
If it is empowering for her to post revealing pictures, then that’s something she needs. But if that also makes you uncomfortable… I hate suggesting people end relationships over stuff that I don’t have the full context for… but you may need to reconsider.
But please! Talk to her first, in my experience, people who post revealing images of themselves (absolutely no shade) *and* are overly defensive/aggressive, have some underlying mindsets that need to be addressed.

[WonderBell99]

You’re getting a lot of one sided, mixed opinions here. She is not ready to hear you out, nor is she going to change her behavior. If you are really uncomfortable with this, it’s best to break up with her now. If this is something that you can tolerate, I don’t see why you should break up when everything else is good. You have a right to establish boundaries.

For example, (hypothetical scenario) I’m not comfortable with my partner posting flirty comments under Instagram influencers’ posts, they’ll probably never notice him, but it’s still going to make me uncomfortable. If he isn’t ready to change his ways, I’ll break up.

Personally, I wouldn’t post revealing pictures when I’m in a relationship (I don’t even post them when I’m single lmao), while her arguments make sense, I also think it’s disrespectful to disregard your concerns. It would have been better if she had heard you out.

[Grond21]

This is really good advice. Having healthy boundaries in a relationship is very necessary. And you were right to feel that way about your girlfriend.

[WonderBell99]

Thanks!

[Grond21]

Thank you for speaking the truth. Especially against those who want to label attitudes they disagree with in a highly negative light, 'controlling' 'misogynistic', in order to shut up any disagreement. And to avoid dealing with his actual feelings.

[Bklynbadboy12]

@WonderBell99 well said I agree 👍

[WonderBell99]

@Grond21 I wouldn’t label the OP as a misogynist or a control freak just because he has certain boundaries. It’s ok to not be ok with certain things your partner does. If his girlfriend absolutely needs to post such pictures and he cannot accept her behavior, maybe it’s time to reconsider everything. She has the right to post any pictures she wants and so does he, to leave the relationship. I’m not sure why some people think I’m taking sides because I’m definitely not 😂

[Grond21]

Yes, I see that clearly. It's the beauty of boundaries. When done right, they respect both people

[Apple1996]

It is her body and you don't own her so let her do what she wants with it. It's so gross that men get possessive with their girlfriends/wives like this.🤮

[WonderBell99]

I don’t think he’s being possessive. Being uncomfortable with your SO’s provocative posts is normal. Shouldn’t a good SO hear out their partner’s concerns? If my boyfriend had a problem with my IG posts, I’d talk to him about it. It’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries (and that includes doing something about things they’re uncomfortable with) when you’re in a relationship. His request is not outrageous.

[Sabretooth]

your rep is never your own--man or women. everything we do affects those around us.

[Apple1996]

@WonderBell99 it's pure control. he's trying to treat her like a child. And obviously she did hear out his concerns but has her own opinions about what she's comfortable with.
And I've been in a situation like this before with my husband telling me how to dress. It did not go well. He has learned that it's unacceptable to be that controlling towards me and also other women.
This guy is still very young. He has to learn that he doesn't own his girlfriend and cannot be setting up rules but instead start trusting her

[WonderBell99]

It's not about owning your partner. I don't think he is wrong to not want his partner posting revealing pictures. I wouldn't be comfortable with my partner posting half naked pictures of himself all over social media and I'm not controlling. It looks like he would be better suited to someone who has the qualities he is looking for. If he is unable to accept his partner's behavior, it's best they break up.

[WonderBell99]

Again, I don't think the OP has a problem with what his girlfriend wears. They're clearly talking about the type of pictures she posts on social media. Both are very different.

[fonduegirl]

@WonderBell99 OP does sound like a pretty decent boyfriend.

But I mostly agree with Amanda on this.

You can't really control anyone's life choices, including their social media presence.

There are people who post revealing pics on Instagram, not for attention but because they love their body.

OP needs to accept that.

[fonduegirl]

*Apple

[WonderBell99]

@anon1903 I didn’t say it was for attention. All I’m saying is, the OP is not wrong for talking to his girlfriend about this. He doesn’t seem like an entitled shithead, but reality may be different. It’s also ok for the OP to break up if he cannot accept her behavior, because he seems very much uncomfortable with his girlfriend’s posts.

[fonduegirl]

Yes, you didn't.

But it's a general assumption of guys that women post revealing pics for attention seeking. So I had to clarify.

[fonduegirl]

I wouldn't really say she was aggressive either. But that's just me.

[WonderBell99]

Alright.

[DextroShade]

@anon1903 it is absolutely for attention, else she could just keep the pics private.

[fonduegirl]

Debatable.

[fonduegirl]

It's her body. Your opinion is irrelevant.

[DextroShade]

That's a crap argument, like if he was cheating on her and said "It's MY body, she doesn't own my penis so I can put it wherever I want!"

[fonduegirl]

Haha, men will justify anything using the abuse and cheating as counter argument. Lmao.

[fonduegirl]

Do mention the similarities between showing off your body on the internet and actual fking cheating.

[Kelly6]

Totally agree with Apple1996

[DextroShade]

@anon1903 showing off her body on the internet is literally inviting cheating.

[Apple1996]

@DextroShade women breathing is inviting cheating

[DextroShade]

Yes, breathing is just like posting nearly naked pictures online for every man in the whole world to see.

[Sabretooth]

That was a terrible comparison.

[Pyrofox]

there's something to be said of self respect and grasp that not everything needs to be "free or low value." So many of women use and abuse the social media such as OF. To make a quick buck without realizing men see that. And then see that price that their selling said service at and it quickily deflates the value of a relationship. Its like why date muchless marry said woman when she values herself to be the equivalent of a new video game per year. <.< its like come on! Don't talk the walk, WALK the walk if you gonna claim your priceless. Don't sell yourself for 64 dollars a year on a 5.99 sub to see you pretty much nude. XD.

[Sabretooth]

@Pyrofox and the affects of this is well known.

[fonduegirl]

That's the consequences of her actions. It doesn't justify him policing her body. Nothing does.

[fonduegirl]

That's like saying I need to finish this family sized ice cream pack in one day because it's gonna go bad.

The rational thing would have been to either buy a fridge, aka in this case put your manly insecurities off, or don't buy a huge ice cream pack. Aka, don't date somebody whose values don't agree with yours. Don't date a bad bitch if you can't handle one. LoL.

[Sabretooth]

@anon1903 a ''bad bitch'' is usually enough but.

[Sabretooth]

the irony is that they later yearn for the kinda men they'd shun... after years of spinning their wheels... same book that's been written trillions of times.

[fonduegirl]

I'm sure the definition varies.

[fonduegirl]

Let them yearn.

Let people make their own decisions and cry over it. Please.

[Sabretooth]

@anon1903 that leads to more drama. then, they whine that there's no good men left... then, the men get mad like ''same men you shat on?''... it's tiresome.

[fonduegirl]

You can just excuse yourself. I don't think you're getting chased by the middle aged women. But if you are, kudos. Keep it to yourself.

[fonduegirl]

Or like the rest of us, you can grab a bucket of popcorn and enjoy.

No need to intervene.

Let the woman decide for herself.

[Sabretooth]

@anon1903 goes against my nature... this can affect her in a big way later on.

[fonduegirl]

And who are you to give her advice? Are you her therapist? What do you mean no?

Care for yourself, buddy. Life would be easier.

[Sabretooth]

@anon1903 I've been known to have valuable advice from time to time. nope... just an old man trapped in a young man's body. no, it wouldn't... not much left to care for... like I ever had much time for that throughout most of my life... it's what I'm accustomed to and what I'm good at... cept for when it mattered for me...

[fonduegirl]

Everyone's got free will. Maybe your old ass can learn that.

Just a suggestion.

[Sabretooth]

@anon1903 typ.

[Sabretooth]

@anon1903 yup.

[Apple1996]

@Trrtggf be successful with what exactly? Lol

[DextroShade]

@Sabretooth yes right when they hit the wall and have to pay for their own drinks.

[Apple1996]

@DextroShade there is no such thing as women hitting the wall lol

[DextroShade]

Yes because men find 80 year old women just as attractive as 20 year old women. Are you trolling or just retarded?

[Apple1996]

@DextroShade 80 year old men find 80 year old women attractive. My grandpa thats 85 just got a new girlfriend that's older than him 😂

[DextroShade]

They polled men if all ages and found that all age groups tended to rate women in their 20's as most attractive. You can continue to be delusional and pretend that your value to men won't decline as you age, but you will either end up settling for a lower value man or dying alone.

[fonduegirl]

Your grandfather must be far from a sexist, like some of these guys are

[Apple1996]

@DextroShade I'm already married so the only man's opinion I care about is my husband's and he isn't into younger women anyways.
And yeah probably won't die alone I have to many kids. One will stick around to keep me company even if my husband dies first

[Apple1996]

@anon1903 he is a very nice guy always getting the ladies. Been married 3 times in his life

[fonduegirl]

Of course he is. Everyone must be delighted to have him around.

[Pyrofox]

@Sabretooth Men know women don't if they DID they wouldn't be inveting in attention based verification.

[Sabretooth]

@Pyrofox that goes for us, as well. no one's reputation is all their own... except for those that have no one.

[ThatGuyFromThe80s]

Geez, I’m concerned for your husband. For real, no Self Respecting woman seeks Validation from other men when they have one of their own at home. If you truly think that undermining your husbands Boudaries is okay, as his expense to feed your ego, then you should divorce and be single. See, what you are missing here is that there is a MUTUAL bond of respect between two parties who engage is a domestic relationship. Now, if your hubby was allowing Other women to puff him up and make him feel validated at a point of it being z your boundaries crossed, you’d likely leave him or Speak up as he did.. wearing Respectful clothing while being with someone isn't a bad thing to ask. See, when you battle a partner whose laid out a Boundary that is a core boundary, that shows a lack of respect, and can and will breed resentment later on. You don’t want that, and if you think this isn’t real or it won’t happen to you, then you are sorely mistaken and are suffering from a convoluted sense of reality. Seeings as this was posted +1 years ago, I’m curious to know how this dynamic has evolved since the writing of this post. Is Said husband still the husband? Has your mindset evolved? Has life shown you the error of your thought process? Cause truthfully, you should read into the definition of Narcissism. If you find yourself having any of the qualities, you should make adjustments to your personality to improve the quality of your life and increase the likelihood of happiness and longevity in your relationships beyond this current post…

[Apple1996]

@ThatGuyFromThe80s I still feel the same way 😆

[D_Bone_Steak]

She's seeking validation... and guess what yours isn't good enough for her. She got angry because you're attacking her source of validation.

She's an attention whore bro. To be blunt this is the kind of chick that will cheat while you're at work, and then blame you for her cheating because you work and don't show her enough attention. If you don't work, and make her work... she'll cheat with a guy at work. Anyone that winks at her makes her feel special. She's not yours, it's just your turn.

Normal women can self-validate and don't need a constant stream of guys hinting at how much they want to fuck her to feel alright about themselves. ... and I assume she's not even making money off of it?

So I would ask, what is the difference between a whore and a slut? One does it for money, the other does it to feel good for a night or two. If you're paying her, she's your whore. If she's with you for your attention, she's just your slut.

Sorry bro... a red pill a day, and you'll start to see it that way eventually as well. You're obviously blue pilled though and you're getting sucked into her bullshit.

[Levin]

Does it make you feel insecure? ie is it about you? What don't you like about it? The fact that she gets attention.

I mean, what's the thoughts and feelings around her doing so?

That kind of stuff is the norm for a lot of people. Women post pictures to get attention, at your age, literally, it's all they have known in life. And they get a steam of attention and simps, 1000s of likes and comments for flaunting their bodies. Maybe she's never questioned her deeper motivations.

But I suppose, it's one of those things, if she's always done it.

For me personally, I'm not a fan of social media, and prefer tasteful imagery of any potential girlfriend. Like the whoring is just in bad taste, in my opinion. It kind of bothers me because it's like those girls can't get any attention any other way or get attention by virtue of having some lady lumps. I mean, maybe I'm just jealous :)

[Kinkyhubby]

If she doesn't respect your opinion, as you polite ask her to stop, and her comment was her body, her life, her choice. She isn't listening to your opinion and conslcerns about it. She isn't valueing you and respecting you, to have a normal conversation. With that said you also have free will and can break up with her. If she is that way now, she will be that way forever. In a relationship it is true you don't own the other person. But both people are a team and should love and respect each other. I would walk away from her. She obviously is to into herself, and in a few years, she will be like, why can't I get a decent boyfriend, because the guys she will date will only be interested in having sex with her, since she so openly shows her body.

[stepyo99]

It's 100% disrespectful to both you and her. She doesn't respect herself enough to not plaster lewd images of herself all over the internet like some cheap slut, and she doesn't respect you at all to honor your wishes about how it makes you uncomfortable.

If I were in your shoes, I would dump her right away. You saw something you didn't like, you brought it up to her, and rather than have a conversation, she immediately rejects your thoughts and shuts it down. It shows she has no respect for you so the relationship is going to end poorly at some point in the future anyways so you might as well get it over with now and on your terms.

[Pyrofox]

Simply explain to her what value is. Not the idea of value but the concept and that true value is from scarcity not an inflation of supply. I'd say pose then the truth that she isn't really catching onto and ask her whats the point of dating her if you can get the same value as being a stranger creeping on her social media. O... O and watch her quickily get rid of it XD.

[Pyrofox]

And if its not simple enough just make it very clear that if validation is all she needs its clear she isn't appreciating yours. And it maybe high time to just split if she isn't serious. Sometimes it just takes being a little... Honest. If you know what I mean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lsv5IeI8bA8

[sage2021]

That's just not right! I don't know why people on her are telling you it's no big deal and to live with. She is trash and has no respect for herself or you. Sge us a throw away - especially with the attitude she has.
He body, her choice. I'm afraid not. Might be her body, so she can keep her body and show it off to perverts.
She is not worg having. And why should you put up with her bad and nasty behavior?

[sage2021]

If she wants to go and exploit her own body on a world wide web. She should stay single and do her thing. What does she need a boyfriend for anyway. I hope he breaks it off with Miss Lucy Goosey. Shoot, she can do that all she wants and leave him alone. If she's horny, she can can flick her own bean on her own body!
That is a very old saying and it was abortion: my body
my choice
Now girls/women use it for anything.
No wonder why guys hate women like her. She's just a little snob. And if she was a 🐟 that was caught - I'd throw her back!

[DextroShade]

She is advertising herself like she is single so you are right to have a problem with it, because she is still keeping her options open and may very well ditch you if a dude with clout slides into her DMs making you a placeholder. My wife doesn't even have social media now even though we met on it. I imagine that if you were subbed to some girls on OnlyFans or following a bunch of IG models she would have a problem with that. So yes, she is acting like a hoe and you shouldn't be tolerating it. I would tell her that I don't take girls who post slutty pics on social media seriously.

[SnowedIn]

You are allowed to feel uncomfortable, yes. You have every right to express that discomfort to her.

She should hear what you have to say. But she's not obligated to stop what she's doing. You don't have to like it and she doesn't have to stop.

And if the two of you can't get past that, it's time to move on from the relationship.

[richardcory]

Its absolutely not OK for her to do that. (and also likely illegal). Some people are comfortable with revealing pictures, others find it deeply disturbing.

You have every right to be angry about this. See if you can explain to her why it matters to YOU even though it doesn't matter to her.

[ohsheeT]

It's really a beautiful picture it's not revealing whatsoever really and you can't bitch and moan about her doing something that you just did with her picture and I bet you she doesn't even know that you put her picture up so you can't say one thing and do another

And I guess the only other thing I could say is that the best part about being in a relationship when you're not happy is you can get out of it

[crossdressingrihno]

If you don’t like it then break up.
Different people have different boundaries in a relationship. If she won’t respect your end then ditch the extra baggage.
It’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t respect your feelings or boundaries in relationship.


A big part of being in relationship is the oaths you make towards each other.
Part of that oath (unless specified to be otherwise) is exclusivity.
She is breaking that oath in a way.

[Christoff92]

Social media is now the generation especially for the ladies. It was never really like this in the 1990's. It's a new revolution for younger women to reinvent themselves.

Don't be angry that she's doing this. Because it's just a habit like riding a bike or jogging. Without social media how would all younger women act. Wouldn't that be a nightmare 😅🤣

[linka_pat307]

Am a social media fan and pretty use it, but one thing I learned is that whatever you put on social media can affect your work, social and others. It can haunt you later.. Your girlfriend needs to the stuff to put on social media., none has stopped her from taking revealing photos, 80%have that on their phones

[fonduegirl]

You can always report her from your account. Lmao.

If it's not breaking the guidelines, it's probably nothing you should be worried about.

She's right. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you get to own her body. That's not aggressive, just straight up facts.

[MikeyObrien]

Don't listen to the women responding here man. It's not insecurity, you have a right to establish boundaries just as much as anyone else. You should try to separate yourself from this girl and find someone else, I understand you like her but the way she acts is not conducive to a healthy relationship.

[nastyb]

you're just being possessive and insecure. Posting revealing photos means nothing nowdays. Take a look at kim kardashian posting sexy pics of herself all throughout the media while being married to kanye.

[DextroShade]

That's not a good example.

[nastyb]

@DextroShade

It doesn't matter. Almosy every girl wears revealing clothes and has those types of pics. Take a look at whatsapp and facebook profile pics. 75 percent of girls have something revealing on therd

[DextroShade]

Saying "everybody's doing it" is the excuse of a child and does not justify shitty whorish behavior.

[nastyb]

@DextroShade

its the trend nowadays. whores and non whores all do it. even i do it. every girl has pics like that on her phone

[DextroShade]

No, not every girl, just the trashy hoes who are for the streets and will die alone.

[Anonymous]

I’d find that sweet, but im still gonna post whatever i want (so can he). Guys are such hypocrites. They feel uncomfortable when their girlfriend/wives are confident with their body and is proud of it, but drools over half naked photos of random girls everywhere (not to mention jerks off on them). So yeah, i agree with her, its her body not yours. You’re a boyfriend but you dont own her. Take it or leave it i guess.

[slatyb]

How is this disrespectful? She's proud of her appearance. I agree with her. She has no duty to stop posting such pictures. If you can't handle it, them you should end this and find a woman willing to confirm to your ideas of proper behavior.

[Anonymous]

She’s got FOMO bad… she can get attention and she’s playing the field. It’s “what’s best for her… in HER best interest.” For the short term… guys are catching on to this behavior. It’s red flag material.

These modern day chicks are so off the rails it’s insane. I mean how disrespectful is that? These girls have a guy and she’s out there fishing for more attention? Incredible.

[JesseP1nk]

Would you used "that is so controlling argument" when someone say stop shitting on the street? You wanna act like a hoe, then dont cry when someone call you such. Luckily, women in eastern Europe have more self respect and dont flash their body parts to the rest of the world.

[Vegasrunner]

Bro run immediately. She's showing you who she really is which is a woman that values her social media over her relationship.

[Factualobserver]

LEAVE HER NOW. Before it gets any deeper.. she disrespects herself and you. She also has the right to tart around showing other men her naked body. Leave and go separate ways.. a better one will come along for you, but she will be sexualised and be given attention for the wrong reasons. I'm going through the same thing man, and I'm really looking forward tk being free from the pain and discomfort my girlfriend has left me with.

[Anonymous]

Well, stop being so insecure and grow up a little.

[Asker]

I don't think its about insecurity as much as its about respect

[fonduegirl]

What respect? It's only his business if she's posting revealing info about him.

[DextroShade]

If he was following OF thots and IG models and she had a problem with it you wouldn't be calling her "insecure"

[fonduegirl]

No, that's very common behaviour. I'd tell her she's being stupid haha.

[Zoyter2]

What it means to you and how you should feel with it is ultimately up to you. It means she is either vain, insecure, or chumming the water.

[Anonymous]

It is not appropriate to post REAL REVEALING pix on social media if she is in a relationship with you. Bathing suites, short dresses, etc is okay but half nude or nude is a NO NO. Find out where you stand if it is the last one I said.

[KrakenAttackin]

She is not "your girlfriend", it's just your turn. She posts to get attention and you can bet tons of guys are in her DM's wanting to fuck. Treat her accordingly.

[HighValue]

Leave her. She is low quality just like anyone that would support that behavior.

[itsalyssaagain]

Personally I would respect that if my boyfriend felt uncomfortable. However it has to be reasonable. Some men are abusive. There’s a fine line.

[Billlewis]

Don't you want other guys to be jealous of you?

[andreasderjuengere]

Return the favour - and post some of your own pictures.

[EaterPeter]

Sorry bud. Try expressing your needs with I need statements. Try reading a book Non violent communication. Or How to talk so anyone listen. Try Blinks app. For free.

[EaterPeter]

Blinkist rather

[EaterPeter]

Humans are complicated.

[EaterPeter]

Very * very few look like they have cracked the code.

[najekim]

Gotta live with it if you wish to stay with her. You may want to try compromising, perhaps she can post 2/3rds of the number if you quit bitching about it?

[momojiji]

I think she might have saw you look at other naked girls on social media? also you are super young it's great to hear that you are already loving and respect your girlfriend , it's rare even for grown ups.

[Anonymous]

Leave... and you're on the right side according to me

[MysteriousDarkness]

Since she doesn't want to stop you should break up and try to find someone more suitfor you.

[dudeinohio]

It is not normal. Her personality type is not one conducive to a relationship.

[Anonymous]

She craves male attention even though she’s with you. Run from this girl. She’s gonna leave you anyway.

[Anonymous]

This might trigger most people here. Take it from me. You two won't last. Remember me when you break up

[Juxtapose]

She won't see it your way. It's best to move on from her if you don't like her actions.

[Sabretooth]

Sounds like bullshit. Girls do this out of insecurity.

[Anonymous]

It’s an IG thing. These girls nowadays feel compelled or obligated to share just about everything (even their souls) on social media especially IG.

[Redeye69]

I think she is right. its kinda up to you if you can handle it or not.

[Molly1997]

It’s normal for you to feel that way. Watch out.

[Unit1]

She is public property.

[SolitarySolace]

Break up with her. That’s what I’d do.

[Iron_Man]

Tell her how you feel

[Anonymous]

Nice fantasy.

[SpaceGalaxy]

Dump the bitch

[In_Trance]

So stop looking at her social media

[Anonymous]

She is a ho

[Anonymous]

she's dumb and young