Am I in the wrong for being livid that my wife, my emergency contact, had her phone off when the hospital tried to call her about me?

[Anonymous]

Here are the details, about a month ago I was in a car accident. The hospital I was at needed approval for things, but I was unable to give consent, I was unconscious.. They called my wife repeatedly and could not get her. Eventually she turned her phone off. They were able to wake me up enough to get said consent, but if they were unable to do that, I would have died.

I was and still am very pissed off at my wife over that. Her excuse was ' I was trying to sleep and I thought it was a scammer' I told her if it ever happened again I would divorce her.

[Anonymous]

I understand why you’re upset, but maybe you should consider giving her a little grace. Your wife loves you, and had you died as a result of her not answering the phone, I can’t imagine the grief and guilt she’d have to live with. She’s probably beating herself up enough about that without you holding this grudge for weeks on end. Anger aside, I’m sure you know this was a huge accident on her part.
She wasn’t expecting that call, nobody expects for their loved one to walk out the door and potentially not come back. Looking at things from her perspective, she had this random number blowing up her phone and just wanted to get some rest.
However, the reason I say “consider” giving grace is because I understand the fault in this. Personally I would’ve answered the phone, like a spammer isn’t going to call multiple times back to back, send many voicemails, so I don’t know what was in her head to not wonder if something is wrong. Not everyone has the same common sense though, so if she’s being honest and it was really just a thoughtless mistake, then it might be worth letting this one go.

[Asker]

It would have been better, a lot better, if she at least said sorry. But she didn't..

[Opinion Owner]

No apology? Yeah that’s not ok, even if she’s too proud of a woman she could suck it up and say sorry. Have you tried talking about it? Like no arguing or anything, just being clear about how hurtful that is?

[Asker]

She doesn't want to talk about it.

[BrookeAZ90]

Did the hospital not leave a message?

[Asker]

They left several. She just turned her phone off.

[Asker]

She also never apologized.. If she would have said she was sorry I don't think I'd be angry any more.

[BoopBoopBeep]

That's the level of selfishness that warrants divorce. She f'ed up. Big time. And there's nothing to apologize for? No. Hard pass.

[BoopBoopBeep]

There would be no "next time." Her stuff would already be in storage for her to do something with. The lack of apology seals it.

[Avicenna]

It’s totally understandable that you’re kissed, but you’re overreacting, especially what you said about divorce.

[Asker]

I could have died.. I value my life...

[BoopBoopBeep]

There was no apology. Divorce is warranted.

[DextroShade]

If she knew you would be in the hospital you are not in the wrong.

[Asker]

It was a near fatal car accident. Fucking drunk driver hit me.