My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 1 year. We met in a hostel and it was love at first sight for both…
He followed me to my home on the other side of the world and we have been living together since…We only see each other at night because of work so we spend little time together actually.
The thing is that I have times where I’m not sure whether I’m truly in love or not. I have moments in the month where I’ll be super happy to be with him and I cherish him a lot, I’ll feel like a kid and just be happy to be w him, And other times where I don’t feel like saying I love you or hugging him. I’ll sleep on one end of the bed and hope to be left alone… I feel like I am mean to feel that way and I don't know.. just feel really crappy because I wish my feelings were 100% always. He is the one to actually tell me he suffers that I’m not clingy enough (because he is very into physical touch and words of affirmation).
what scares me is that in my past relationship (with an abusive man) I never doubted whether I loved him or not. My feelings were very linear with that ex boyfriend of mine. Why was I not doubting with that a**hole and with this amazing man, I am here doubting myself?
The truth is that a part of my brain keeps on freaking out and telling me to not fuck the relationship up because I do genuinely love many things about it. He is a very caring man, always does things for me, has a lot of love to give, we have so many common interests etc. We have the same plans for the future and want the same things in life. I can’t imagine breaking up.