Do I actually love my boyfriend?

[yourturkishgf]

At first I texted him because I saw him as a good investment as a partner. He had everything I was looking for in a partner: good height, nice looks, a future doctor, blond, never had a relationship.

We talked online for a month then met in person, I had an instant crush on him on first date. He looked so handsome. Then we started dating but suddenly he started to look less attractive to me. I realized that I don't love him as much as he loves me so I tried to break up. He cried and didn't let me go. I also realized that I was afraid to lose him. (He is my almost only company in the city, only one I feel close to)

We got together. He is crazy about me, we discuss marriage all the time. He is ready to wife me. So he wants to see me all the time, hear my voice, hug and touch all the time. All our dates go by: eat, go to a public parc and hug, kiss until night. He wants to repeat the same all week. I started to get a little uncomfortable by the touching because the parts he touches started to get a bit less innocent like he started to ask me to sit on his lap or he started touching my hips or close to my boobs. And I see a wet area on his pants, which is clearly precum but we both play dumb. I want to wait until marriage for some things, he knows that so it gets me uncomfortable.

So I started postponing dates. Do I love him?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's a lot to unpack. It kinda sounds like you were mostly physically attracted to him at first since he fits what you thought you wanted in a guy on paper. But relationships are way more than just checking boxes, you know?

Love isn't always about feelings, it's also about choosing to care for someone every day even when the butterflies go away. But it doesn't seem like you're feeling it emotionally with this dude. And that's okay! You're allowed to change your mind if you realize it's not really right.

I wouldn't force anything if your heart's not fully in it. It's not fair to lead him on. Some space might help give you clarity on how you really feel. It's good you're listening to your discomfort with how touchy he's getting already too - big red flag there.

Have an honest talk with him that you need to take a step back to figure stuff out. Make clear boundaries about physical affection too until then. If he really cares, he'll respect your feelings. But be ready to accept it might not work out in the end. Don't settle just cause breaking up will be awkward! Follow what feels right for you deep down. His reaction will also show his true colors. Hope it all works out for the best - just be true to yourself!

[Billlewis]

Do you think you do?