What should I talk about when I meet someone new?

[familyguy29]

:( i feel so weird when i stay quit and i don't want to talk about the usual topic (work and study ) because they seem to get bored immediately, there is this app that connects you in a voice call with random people, i use it sometimes and i don't know what to talk about i feel so lonely i moved recently to a country that i don't speak its language and I need company :( but i don't know how to approach people not on the internet or on real-life cz i am a shy person but i really want to change that, any advice?

[Flatmanlewis]

First, and foremost. Be present in the moment. No phones, apps, or texting. Ever. Second, be someplace where it’s easy to talk.




Have a mental list of a dozen topics you can discuss always staying away from religion, politics, guns, and money. I generally avoided talking about past relationships as it rarely is a good thing, sometimes it comes up organically though.



Hobbies. Pets. Cars. Mutual friends (always be complimentary). Food. Talk about your own hobbies, which creates a natural Segway into a future date when you offer to take them sometime). Books, music, or movies they like. What actor would play them in a movie?
What’s something you’re too scared to try?
What’s your favorite food? Do you like roller coasters? What’s in your bucket list? How do you relax? What’s the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself? Literally…the list is endless.


I like asking about vacations and travel because it gets them connecting to a positive mental place which is good - they feel good while speaking with you.


Be comfortable with the occasional silence and, in fact, properly timed eye contact can be a real connection during the natural pauses of a conversation.

[lightbulb27]

Focus on how you can provide value to that person in that moment. That is your mental model. That puts you in a positive energy and needs to come from a "frame of confidence". Then practice that wherever you go. How can you improve that persons life by using your own life, in that moment in time?

good to prepare topics in advance. however, the best thing to do is to respond in the moment to the person in front of you and be interested in them and share of yourself.

Avoid topics that create insecurity... like asking where they live, workout, name. Build rapport and comfort first and offer those things of yourself.

You can ask about places they've been, interesting topics in the media. Commenting on their attire can work but needs to come from the right place and be genuine. People are responding to "energy" not words. It is the underlying energy/emotion you convey that sets the context for what it all means.

confidence is king!!!

[nolabels]

Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, clapping, clapping, clappity-clap-clappity-clappity-clap-clappity-clappity-clap-ccllaapp-clcalpap-clap- clap- clap.

Well said, my good man!

[lightbulb27]

@nolabels Cheers:)! I was both dumb and dumber for a long time until I learned:)

[Lis-the-librarian]

Ask more, talk less about yourself.

If you are ugly or feel that you are ugly then that is fine, don't overthink it that you have to be interesting/attracrive to them, in order to achieve some goal.

Compliment random things you like when walking by, hey cool shoes/haircolor etc and keep on walking, to just practice.

And mostly, don't talk. Get used to having pauses, silent moments and just chilling together. Too many people just want to keep on talking 24/7. Offer them something to eat, like a protein bar and just sit and eat, together.

Also eye contac is a good thing.

[jennifer_bloom]

People like to talk about happy things and shared things, so the weather is a safe topic since you have it in common with everyone else, a vacation or weekend is also a good topic, asking how their July 4th celebration was, how they like the weather.

[AviatorTom]

Talk about yourself, but don't overdo it, ask your date questions, and listen attentively to their response

[nolabels]

The absolute number one rule is to talk and ask about THEM.

What do you like to do? Are you originally from here? Do you have family? Family in town? Family out of town? What type of career might you have? Do you have pets? Whatever. Any little question that'll get THEM talking.

BOOM! All of a sudden, they're talking about themselves and you're off the hook for a bit. Isn't that marvelous? LISTEN to what they're saying. Pick something that might be of interest to you and when the time is right, ask them to expound on it.

When both parties in a conversation use that approach, conversation in most cases then flows very naturally, with speaking and LISTENING, back and forth, with things that are being said evoking new thoughts to expound upon. The LISTENING part is extremely important. The information you receive will give you more things that you can then ask them about, which will keep the conversation flowing.

It might take just a bit of practice, but EVERYONE (almost) loves talking about themselves. All you have to do is ask them.

Good luck to you! 😊👍

[GreatBigCircles]

One way to be more charismatic, is learning to enjoy learning about other people, and learning to share in their passions. If you ask someone what their hobbies are and they say playing Trumpet? Well now you can share you taste in music and then pass the ball back and ask them what kind music they like.

A fun and engaging conversation is like a game of basketball. You spend most of it passing the ball and receiving the ball, and the time you do spend with it should lead to the next pass. AND most importantly? You should enjoy it, and that comes with learning how to enjoy the passion other people have for the things they like. Even if its not something you like, it can be fun to vicariously experience through their excitement!

[Sanser]

Well you can start talking about why you are in that country and after that talk about hobbies or even films. Do you like sports? You can say something like "I wish I had my tennis raquet in this country to play" or something like that and start talking about what sports does that person like or do. Its a safe topic and since there you can know better the person. Remember to be always charming and have a smile in your face. Thats all, I would recommend doing this irl instead via apps... its more healthy and it helps much more than online.

[_Maya_]

Find out there interests through convo. See what gets them talking and focus on that. Starting conversations aren't easy when you first meet someone so try your best to keep them going and sew what the person is interested in. Don't use apps. Go out with friends and meet people live. That's the best way to do it and will give you confidence. Over time that confidence makes you better at doing it. Hope this helps.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I have the same problem with people in general, and can't help you with that.

I can help as far as talking to girls though!
Unless a girl is super nervous and choked up, 9 times out of 10, you don't have to say shit other than basic responses like "That's awesome!" and "Oh yeah, totally".
😂
Women will talk you to the ends of the earth, and it's best for a guy to say as little as possible without coming off as rude or uninterested lol

[Fireguy17]

anything but yourself.
ask the other person questions and get them to talk about themselves.

[sheikalana]

Ask them about their interests, hobbies, try to figure out if you like anything in common like the same shows, movies, music genre.

[Billlewis]

Just keep bringing up various subjects until you find one that develops into a conversation.

[zebronics]

Can I get your father's number to approach him for our marriage?

[Boomchakalaca]

Just think that ur ryan gosling

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Lol, that's good

[Iron_Man]

About life in general

[BLP11520]

Pets books movies hobbies

[Jltakk]

Great question. Conversations are very hard.

[pethouse]

Talk about them