Im doubting my relationship, what would you do if you were in your mid 20s?

[Anonymous]

Im a (f25) my boyfriend is (m23) i do love him, we, ve been together 4 years, we are like best friends we are together 24/7, we laugh, its fun but we aren’t similar at all and it lacks in the most important… at least to me. The relationship isn’t enough intimate, my boyfriend isn’t that good and doesn’t try enough either, I also feel like he doesn’t put enough effort into the relationship like being romantic knowing thats what i like, he never compliments me or tries to make me feel special (I've spoken about these either multiple times and no change)

We live together and i am not from where we live ( his hometown ) i often fantasize about move back to mine and starting over. I want to enjoy my life and meet someone who treats me like I'm the best they ever had, i also want to make friends, its a small town here and the years I've been here i made 1 friend. I briefly lived in my hometown for school, made friends & kinda just loved it but I moved back for my boyfriend I don't know why I have a hard time to let go for love.

I do like him & think he’s super cute but i feel like we aren’t compatible relationship wise, he treats me more like a friend tbh and I’m losing sight of him sexually but there are thing he does that i hate.

• 1. He does cocaine every weekend & I feel like he drinks a lot.
• he is a bit messy, im not perfect but i am cleaning after him ever often.
• he gets defensive when i mention these things
• He is lazy
• very negative

we live together bought furniture together, honestly if we broke up i wish to move back home and work a job i went to school for, my family is there but its expensive and i dont want to live with my parents again.

pls give advice, this is my longest relationship and it’s scary to think about letting it go.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard to let go of relationships that you’ve put so much into, I was with a guy for 6 years and leaving was one of the hardest choices I ever made.
But when it’s time to go it’s time to go, and you need to love yourself enough to make that choice. This relationship is no longer serving you, and what you liked at 21 is not the same thing you’re into now, plus you’re only getting older and evolving.
Don’t rob yourself of experiencing the world separate from him, you will regret it later on.

[Asker]

Would it be terrible for me to ride to out a bit and see how things go & also save some money while working to move home when necessary (I couldn’t afford it now)

[Opinion Owner]

That’s perfectly fine. If you aren’t miserable and can tolerate staying there while you save then sure, buy yourself some time. Just don’t lose sight of the goal, otherwise you’ll talk yourself out of it each time and never leave.

[Anonymous]

"we aren’t similar at all and it lacks in the most important" why stay with someone for 4 years if this is important to you? your mistake then.

also, why are you with a guy who does cocaine and drinks? that is just awful... not sure what he brings to the relationship.

another thing, seems like you miss home. just break up, it's the best answer. you even said "I want to enjoy my life and meet someone who treats me like I'm the best they ever had"... that's so bad. i get it's hard to let go of a long relationship, but clearly you're not happy and this isn't going anywhere.

"i feel like we aren’t compatible relationship wise, he treats me more like a friend tbh and I’m losing sight of him sexually but there are thing he does that i hate." PLEASE so many red flags of a crumbling relationship. let go! there is no more future.

[Asker]

Im sacred that it will be a mistake and my home town is 9 hours aways which makes it a big move aswell as a big step in my life especially being my hometown is expensive and I can’t afford the cost yet

[Opinion Owner]

it won't be a mistake. look at this dude. he is really starting to sound like a deadbeat. why isn't he turning his life around? i just don't see the appeal of being with guys like this who do cocaine and drink and treat you like that. how is it a mistake when you're clearly not happy and everything about him is starting to turn you off?
if you can't afford your hometown (understandable, everything sucks right now) do you have parents you could move in with? i know it's a step down, but i just don't see your situation right now being healthy. you are definitely between a rock and a hard place... i really think you need to talk to him.

[Anonymous]

You’ve given more reasons why you shouldn’t be with him than reason why you should stay with him. Liking him, thinking he’s cute…those aren’t good enough reasons to stay.
In my job as a dispatcher, I hear a lot of stories about people who fell into drugs, and a lot of them are very much alike. Druggies betray their friends and family when it comes to their next fix. I’ve heard way too many stories of people getting violent and manipulative with those who try to get between them and their drugs. Trust me when I say, you don’t want that kind of future.

[LazerBean]

Cut loose before you waste any more time, then don't make the same obvious mistakes again.

[Asker]

What holds me back is the relationship was great in the beginning and he’s the only person i met around here that I enjoy hanging with so I struggle to let that go. I have friends in my hometown which is where i want to be but its 9 hours away

[LazerBean]

That's not a decent reason.

[Anonymous]

Try your best to work things out and then move on if that fails.

[Grovermint]

Drug use, gone.

[Anonymous]

I Assume he was the one that asked you out