Does having kids strengthen a marriage or make it harder?

[gayesblog]

How is your experience or opinion in general?

[Apple1996]

Having kids will either make or break a relationship depending on if the couple can manage stress well.

In my experience tho having kids has made my relationship wayy better before it wasn't so great tbh. When I was pregnant with my oldest I was planned on being a single mom because of how bad everything was but things turned around for the better. Now we have 4 kids and been together for 10 years 😊

[Anonymous]

your marriage has nothing to do with kids. that's more of a family thing. marriage should be separate from that because it is still a relationship that you have to nurture. if you do not nurture your marriage, then yes it will fall apart. but again, nothing to do with kids and shouldn't put the blame on kids. family relationship is different. that is focusing more on the kids as a whole.

so if your marriage is failing, it's not because of the kids. it's because you two can't communicate and work together very well.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I'm voting for strengthen the marriage. Learning or making the decision to hear your partner and children out when they are trying to make a point represent their case teaches patience. There is no perfect parenting method, you have to assume that you and your spouse are not going to have the same viewpoint on a situation, so you are forced to hear each other out or you will be in a permanent argument.

[Unit1]

haven't seen kids making a relationship better. Only poorer, more fighting and dragging one more victim in their destructive drama theater. People keep doing it like they are competing for it.

I am Not joking. I knew parents, that behaved similar to this kid to their kids over nothing at all and threw tantrums. ask me how i know.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/VxuMKb5CKI0

[Bilboes]

It strengthened mine. Our kids gave us one more thing in common. A group project that is intensely difficult and rewarding. Because we both work together, it’s fun. Just like a group project, however, if one member is doing all the work it will lead to resentment. That will ruin a relationship VERY quickly. There is a bit of risk, and a ton of effort, but if both of you are excited about it the rewards are just indescribable.

[Singing_Hollow]

Neither. You are not married to your children, you are married to your partner. If your children are the reason your marriage works or doesn't then you are not married to your partner but rather a sperm donor. Your husband or wife is the person you spend the rest of your life with till your last breaths not your children. They are just the continuation of your bloodline.

[mollysos]

it can go either way depend on the status of the relationship and financials. If your not doing well financially that stressful enough. Now add a kid to that equation and that might just break a relationship. But in some cause the love for the child can help them save a relationship.

[provokeesmokee]

Kids are not a marital aid. Full stop.

If your marriage is already on the rocks, you will not improve it by adding a newborn to the mix.

Want a real fix? Marriage counselling. That's your fix.

[Guido]

If your marriage isn't strong, do not have kids. It does not strengthen the marriage. It can make your bond stronger but it adds a lot of life stressor that only a strong marriage can survive. It takes an incredible amount of work but it's well worth it.

[normalice]

It is like asking if weights strengthen arms or weaken them. With a plan, resources, and time, it can turn into strength. But if you just rush into it with no realistic idea what you're doing, it will wear you down.

[UniquelyBasic]

I think it depends how the relationship is before kids. If it's strong before then I would assume having kids will be a good thing but if you aren't on the best terms with your partner, bringing a child into that won't really help much.

[JosyJosy]

I think harder. That's the one thing in life you can't fully prepare for. If you weren't a good team before kids, you're not going to be a good team when there is a kid, and a kid needs a great team.

[caitycat21]

No one should be having kids to try and strengthen a marriage …

[Nikki1989]

If your marriage is rock solid it could be a benefit, otherwise it could be a disaster.

[HaveNoName]

It is kids that give you direction in life earlier and the will to carry on later in life. Those who are scared of having kids think short term and it is basically a selfish thought.

[Anonymous]

They come you together for 20 years yet add stress to the marriage and can cause failure.

Depends whether you work together as parents and have a similar outlook on parenting, I guess.

[exitseven]

Maybe both. It certainly does not make it easier.

[MysteriousDarkness]

Relationships, engagements and marriages can last or fall a part if you have kids or without having kids.

[no_feet_pics]

It makes it harder if you don't really love each other, and stronger if you do.

[Anonymous]

When the woman is pregnant, she will learn how good or bad the guy will be as a father in how he treats her while she is pregnant.

[fuddly]

The family unit is stronger
The marriage still may not be great

[Ava1993]

harder lot of times parent stop taking care of each other forcus on each other.

[abc3643]

Make it harder, I believe.

[Dkc123]

What your parents said?

[provokeesmokee]

Lol, on the mark. Feel sorry for OP if this is the case, cause guaranteed that's trauma inducing.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

It depends, can be either one or the other

[OddBeMe]

I would only guess harder.

[msc545]

Both actually.

[BLP11520]

A little of both honestly

[Flatmanlewis]

Both.

[Andres77]

Harder.

[Andres77]

If there’s a rift between the couple, having kids makes it wider. If there’s a solid bond, kids strengthens the bond.

[butterly248]

Both

[In_Trance]

Works both ways