AITA: My sister confessed to me that she cheated on her husband with a coworker so I told my mom?

[DexWest]

Am I the a**hole? My sister cheated on her husband with a coworker and told me she was debating divorce cause this new guy that lives 5 states away clicked with her on a different level that she never had a connection with someone like that. So she gave him everything. As a result, out of concern for my nephew and his stability, I told my mom in hopes she would be able to knock some sense into my sister. AITA?

Updates

+1 y

Update since it was brought up multiple times. She had told her husband prior to telling me.

[Inbox]

First off, I'm sorry to hear this - I'd consider it a personal insult if a family member of mine did something as stupid as this. Also, I am also sorry that you're being put into a position that could tear not only your immediate family apart, but your young nephew as he is completely innocent.

You did the right thing by telling your mother or should have told your sister that she needs to tell your brother in law of what she did because sooner or later, you're brother in law probably would have picked up on the fact that something else is going with your sister! Similar to criminals, cheaters leave behind trails (less affection, random phone calls or texts, more attention given to strangers than to him, etc).

So no, you're not an asshole. The true asshole is your sister who had the nerve to cheat on your brother in law who is FIVE STATES away. It'd be one thing if she has to see that guy everyday (it's still NO excuse as I personally am willing to even quit my job if it means it will save my marriage and spare my child that INSANE and incalculable damage divorce/custody battle would do to them), regardless it's just stupid.

[Anonymous]

Im guessing her husband is a "nice guy." He believes being a stable, good guy is enough. Your sister is probably hot. Not necessarily cute or beautiful, but "sensual" in appearance. she's always had men hit on her. And she needs attention to feel good. Here's the problem: her husband didn't know how to give her the right kind of attention. The man she met is probably just as well off as her husband. Just as "nice", but probably a more genuine manner. And he wasn't afraid to sleep with a married woman so you know he was highly flirtatious.

In other words everything that happened was completely predictable. Are you an asshole though? No. But you might have too respect for the institution of marriage. She cheated... so what? It happens all the time. Perhaps you should've minded your own business. And just chalked it up as something that happens. Learned from it. Forgive her. And move on.

Your mom isn't blaming you, is she? I doubt she is. But she probably does sense that you're a snitch.

by the way you can tell me if I'm way off.

[Sasha0426]

You act as if cheating is a no big deal.

[Paulalove98]

@Sasha0426 right! Like life’s too short people shouldn’t take any disrespect. If someone does it, it should be over in an instant. Who needs their life wasted? Not good people.. also giving cheaters second chances is never ever good news.

[LazerBean]

No, your sister is the asshole as well as a whore. If my brother or sister did that, you can be damn sure I would have chewed their ass out and then given my parents a turn to skin them. Divorce is already the worst case scenario, so if she's already planning on doing that then it's not like telling your parents is going to make it any worse. If they do get divorced, do your best to try and get your nephew into the custody of his father so that he doesn't have to be raised by a filthy slut.

[strawberrybaby3]

No you’re not the asshole, and I underhand that your sister put you in a bad situation by putting you in the middle. I think you did the right thing though. You can’t possibly keep something like that to yourself when you know it’s something that could ruin your family and affect your nephew. It’s your sister who should be ashamed of herself, not you.

[love_conquers_lust]

Asshole? No. A little pussy if you didn’t confront her yourself. No details, so I’m going to assume the worst. She got FOMO? She can FOAD. She deserves to be single and alone, so does the dirtbag she fornicated with. Sucks for your brother in law, don’t know if you liked him or not anyway.

[Anonymous]

Did you REALLY think that your mom will talk to your sister and then your sister would abandon her plans? REALLY?

If your mom does talk to your sister, what happens between you and your sister now? Does that matter?

I think you had an ulterior purpose, didn't you?

[Spongebobssocks]

No you did the right thing. Your sister has no human value so she deserves whatever she gets. What you should do is tell her husband so he can find a woman with human value. Best of luck! Know your sister worth has nothing to do with you!

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I would always recommend to stay out of people's personal relationships and marriage.

I understand you have a nephew you want to protect but the child isn't yours.

As for your sister, she's going to have to fix her own problems regarding her husband.

I don't think it's your mom's place to do that.

[inhua]

asshole is a matter of perspective

feminists and liberals will think you're an asshole

everybody else will not

[RingOfFire]

Tough one. I probably would not have told my mother because I would have viewed it as my sister's business and her prerogative to decide when and how your mother finds out. But I respect what you did as well.

[ArrowheadSW]

Your sister said that she "clicked" with a guy 5 states away. She is being unrealistic. She barely knows the guy.

[Luckycharms12]

Firstly you shouldn't told your mother and sister is adult might not like her life choices all you can do is give advice. But have to understand she doesn't have to listen to that advice. If she loses her marriage it's her own fault

[fantasticass]

Why tell your mother? You all sound like 2 year olds. Grow up!!

[goaded]

Of course you are. She told you in confidence.

[Sasha0426]

She shouldn’t have cheated in the first place 🤷‍♀️

[goaded]

@Sasha0426 So that gives other people carte blanche to ignore her feelings? According to the update, she'd already told her husband, but she'd chosen not to tell their mother. There would have been a reason for that.

Would it be OK for the Asker to post her name and phone number on here, so we can all have a go at her?

[Sasha0426]

Cheaters need to be ratted out. If they don’t like being exposed, then they shouldn’t have cheated in the first place 🤷‍♀️

[msc545]

Well you probably should not have told your mother and I'm not clear about what's that's going to do to your relationship with your sister but I bet it won't be good.

[pethouse]

No offense but I hope o don’t marry someone like your sister

[Zenpanda]

I would've told her husband

[fantasticass]

Me too... not the mother

[Anonymous]

Damn dude, you are 30!

[DexWest]

Yes? And my sister is 31.

[gorydetails]

Yes, you're an asshole.

[grega239]

Tell the husband

[KrakenAttackin]

Your sister is a dumb whore.

[balyai]

Glad you were honest! That's how it should go

[balyai]

Tell her husband too. He deserves to know it ASAP

[riverrat3]

Shame on you