Is growing old with someone possible these days?

Question

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Just but the odds aren't good. about 80% of divorces are unilaterally initiated by those happy brides after 8 years which is the point at which 50% of marriages end. That is suspiciously close to the time it takes to pop out the average of 1.8 children and get them into elementary school after which the husband isn't as useful anymore.

There is another burst at 20 years which probably corresponds to the empty nest stage.

If you rack up 30 years, wifey is unlikely to divorce your arse. About 50% make it that far. Yeah I said 50% fail by 8 years.

The numbers don't add up that well because they are often put in terms of how long marriages last but the thing being measured are divorces. So unless you are doing longitudinal studies continuously you aren't going to know categorically. You will have a fairly good idea of how well 2015 marriages have gone but not how long marriages last now.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

yes, I see it happening. Takes some effort, everything does. One day at a time.

Was a lot easier in the olden days when wars or illness take people early, so wasn't as much challenge... didn't live as long either. Going 80yrs with one person through the changes in life... takes some doing.

whirled_up_girl · Accepted Answer

I assume with mean with the newer generations like gen Y and gen Z. I say this because my parents along with many aunts and uncles are still married to their first and only spouse. It was more common in their generations but I do feel that it is possible in these younger generations. It's important thought that people don't rush into relationships and marriage before figuring out whether they are compatible. It did seem like a simpler set of rules in previous generations than now, today the expectations that partners have of one another seems different in a lot of cases.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I think it’s the dream of all of us.

I have often pictured myself walking down the Bali beach in a sky blue summer dress, my two or three children and my husband.

And then years later, my husband and I living a peaceful cozy life and my grandparents visiting us.

And then him and I, sitting on the bench or two chairs by the lake, river, ocean or anywhere and just being there for each other. With him leaning his head on my shoulder or maybe me leaning mine on his.

And knowing that you are the luckiest woman in the world, to have spent your whole life by his side.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I believe there are two things that make people grow old together which are relationship quality and relationship patience. If the men and women love and help each other and can accept the changing body and health of their romantic partner, then its possible to grow old together.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

My fiancee won't need to wait very long to get the answer to this question!

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

It’s possible yes, but does it happen as often these days, nope 🤷‍♀️

Apple1996 · Answer

Yes definitely possible

Raeannox · Answer

It’s possible but I think some people are unrealistic and naive with their expectations for long term relationships with how much work it takes to make it last.

Love is about acceptance and choosing that person every time. Accepting change and loving every version of that person and never looking backwards only forwards.

But unfortunately some people settle and ruin their own happiness by giving into the society pressures of being married by certain age and marrying first person that shows them interest.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Yeah it's possible. Relationships are give and take. You need to be able to make sacrifices and do what is right for both of you in the relationship. Trust honesty communication most of all the want to move forward together even when things get hard in the relationship. Call me a hopeless romantic but I totally think it's possible.

ShesRad80 · Answer

it seems to be rare these days but possible. with the internet such a huge part of most peoples lives. instead of working through issues or communication, they jump from person to person because somehow that's easier, to ghost the person they been dating or break up and jump to a new person. i wasn't raised that way and am not into hook up/friends with benefits culture. i really have no interest in dating, unless i meet someone who is looking to actually date. that means getting to know them as well as them me, likes, dislikes, conversations etc progresses over time not in ten minutes. working in healthcare, i see the senior couples and hear their stories, its really amazing one couple was together 67 years, since they were 17 and 18 and she passed of a stroke, it is the stuff movies should be made of. rare but possible, gotta have faith

CrypticMoon · Answer

I think you have to find the right person who wants to grow with you and not against you. Someone who chooses to stay by your side everyday because they know you're by theirs. I think I've found my person to grow old with and I hope to live a long and happy life with him. Only time will tell, but we've set up a strong foundation to keep us going.

StephiC · Answer

If you treat each other with affection then yes. The problem is most men treat women poorly and assume because she hasn't left its tolerable.
Then are blindsided when she can no longer tolerate it and leaves. I do believe women are filing for 70% of the divorces. No-one gets married with the intention to divorce, it's the plan B

Meropatrick · Answer

I dont think so. Because the system is different now. In the past people used to work on a relationship because they had too little in life. So they appreciated everything they had. It was not easy to get married, get divorced, or remarry before. people used to stick with eachothers more to survive. All costs money and would affect you socially. But now there is much more people on earth than lets say 50 years go. There is more money. More independence. People became replaceable. In Japan u can even rent a family for a day to act like ur family. U no longer need to work hard to make things work out in a relationship

JDAC092299 · Answer

It’s possible but love is work and a lot of people don’t get that. You haven’t gotta be miserable with them to stick with them you can work through a hard time with enough communication and patience. A lot of people my age just want the honeymoon faze to continue forever which is a shame because before they know it they’re gonna be a lot older and probably struggle a lot more to find the one for them. I hope they experience whatever they need to, to grow soon as youth is too short to be lonely.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Its possible but becoming increasingly rarer over time. What with such laws as no fault divorce and the fact that women care exceedingly more so about themselves as opposed to their partners which is shown in the 80% of divorces initiated by women. A lot less will know what it is like to grow old with someone they love.

Consider the Roman Empire compared to today.

apahe4 · Answer

tbh im not even sure aymore by how our generation has been acting up. toxic, cheating and hooking culture is basically the "trend" nowadays and its just honestly sad seeing it being more common than people actually wanting to have a stable annd good commitment to a partner.

jshm2 · Answer

Sure! Depends how "old" you're talking. Mainly as 5 minutes can be old enough for some people.

electromagnetic · Answer

We all wish of it but I think there’s a lot to factor in.
compatibility, readiness. We are getting older by the mminute but also living in a generational society that when the going gets tough, it’s easier to walk away than work on the problem.

GreenLanternI0I · Answer

80% of men can't even find a woman with whom they can settle down, let alone finding someone with whom they be growing old. Before 1930's, it was Absolutely possible and it was done by most, these days it is impossible.

beards1990 · Answer

Yes , I believe it's most definitely possible : well here's my opinion on this. When you first find the love of your life - it's like a man finding a beautiful ruby who upon finding will do all he can to preserve it's beauty & only allow himself to see it. & like an archeologist the older your significant other gets - the more you would love to explore & will stay interested in your desired possession - so you're an archeologist interesting in a beautiful ruby you found years ago.

Anpu23 · Answer

Well my wife is sitting here next to me. We've been together for 20 years this time met over 35 years ago. I would say yes

nastyb · Answer

nobody grows old together anymore because they have an UNREALISTIC expectation of marriage. If you want to stay during the good times but ditch during bad times... marriage is not for you. Unless you are in an abusive or life-threatening situation, divorce should not be an option.

menina · Answer

I believe it's possible, but it's rare. I would love to grow old with someone but I guess it won't happen. I can't find him... 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

DizzyDesii · Answer

I never really thought about growing old with someone. Marrying and having kids sure. But I don't know i never even tried to imagine myself old though I hope to live a long life

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

With the way our relationship dynamics have been heading, I doubt you will ever see a relationship reach 20, 30 or even 40 or beyond milestones in the near future. Unfortunately the nuclear family has all but been replaced by the quick hookup culture and quick turn around to new partners when things get tough.

No one seems to want to work on relationships anymore. It is just quicker and easier to drop it and start a new one.

BadApple69 · Answer

I don't believe so. Back a bunch of years ago before “online” was a thing. It was harder to meet people and couples stayed together longer. Nowadays people get bored so quickly and online they find someone to screw around with in an hour or so. Infidelity Is so easy today. I believe this is why long relationships don't last these days.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I suppose so. It isn't something that I strive for though. If it happens it happens, if not that's fine too.

Sometimes I look at it both ways, sure it would be nice to have someone to rely on and share some great times with them in the latter part of your life. Then I think about it some more and I don't want to be a burden on someone or make them feel sad for weeks, months or the rest their life once I pass. What happens to them when you gone and they're alone in the 70's and 80's.

Ezra_lila · Answer

I thought its like a fairytale before when I was young.

That when you love someone truly that whats matter most. But as I gain experience in life love isn't enough at all. Sometimes being inlove is actually a choice to make everyday.

It is possible I guess for few but very rare. Sometimes people who love each other end up their relationship because of indifferences and fall out of love.

Or infidelity, lust and choose the surface over the life long relationship.

silyt_ghoest · Answer

yes, but it’s not as limited as one may think. sure, you could grow old with a lover. or with a friend. or with a sibling. platonic love is just as valuable as familial love.

BlackCat999 · Answer

I think it's possible, totally.
It's just that you have to weed out the people who don't think that way. With social media and all, society makes you believe that there are no good people left. People who believe in forever unions and all. I think we should probably normalise the fact of being around couples who've been together for a long time especially if we come from a split family. They exist, it's just that they're less loud than those who aren't living the same experience as them.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Of course it is... There are billions of people that exist... Surely many have relationships where the couples are so devoted that they probably will grow old... Now in the West people, it'll be hard because the illusion of choice people think we have..

clovertheminotaur · Answer

I sure hope so! It's why im keeping my boyfriend alive until we're super old

thegreenyogi · Answer

I do think it's still possible!! It really depends on your reasons for being with someone and why you want it!!

Nikki1989 · Answer

Well, seeing as millions of people around the world are doing it, it must be.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, my wife and i are growing older by the day.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Definitely!  Our great grandparents, grandparents & parents are all good examples.

Sparkie460 · Answer

My wife and I are growing old together. We've been together for almost 30 years.
I don't think it happens too often these days. People jump from one partner to the next more often than not. Divorce rate is on the rise. Nobody is " stable " anymore.
People just want sex instead of relationships, I don't know why.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course. It's not rocket science.
In order to last in a relationship you need to know why people break up.

Most of it is wrapped up in character. People inability to change is a big reason couples fail. The lack of a written out joint vision is another reason.

But tbh even if you do everything wrong... There is still a chance you can stay together because most people who do only do so because it's easier than going out and living the life they actually want.

Bigmell · Answer

It's possible, the chemistry and compatibility has to be there you know that's a must. I have noticed that a lot of couples growing old together start dating or find each other around there mid 40s- 50s. They get to a age where they can retire collect the pension that have more time to travel relax and enjoy their relationship but I do remember my grandparents and uncles they met their significant other when they was in their twenties and they stayed together for years.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Nope. Men have a higher mortality rate  and the sedentary lifestyles are only enabling our vulnerability to diseases  but that’s what happens when you don’t let boys be boys

DaBiggestBird · Answer

Of course but many can’t because they know not a lot and it is said those who lack a fruitful brain die early

Samhanks · Answer

Why not, you have come this far with mutual trust, understanding. LOVE and CARE !! So continue doing the same with a smile for the rest of your days !!

Hanrej · Answer

It's certainly not impossible but improbable given how few are willing to suck it up during the "for worse"-part of the relationship/marriage.

Dnice1 · Answer

Yeah it's possible but finding the one to grow old with is hard

Anonymous · Answer

couldnt think of anything worse than being tethered to a nag til i die

EmmaMary · Answer

I just hope and dream of following in both my parents and in laws footsteps of a long, happy and loving marriage... Till Death Do Us Part.

HinaTariq · Answer

Yes, growing old with someone is still possible these days. Many people continue to have long-lasting and fulfilling relationships throughout their lives. While maintaining a healthy and committed relationship requires effort and dedication, it is certainly achievable with the right partner and a shared commitment to growth and happiness.

havingfun2023 · Answer

Millennials, unlikely would be my opinion or even the Gen X'ers. Lol. All either unhappy couples or divorcees. Lol 🙃😊 not advice. Opinion my own only 😋

Guardian45 · Answer

I want to believe it is, but every year I have less and less faith that it will happen one day! Although, I'm told otherwise.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Probably not. People are too self-centered. Relationships require putting the other person first.

Marklaw12 · Answer

Yes. There's always someone out there for everyone. When you match, it's almost everlasting.

Nifrayu · Answer

Of course. I haven't figured out how to stop aging yet, but I still have hope.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes, but I suspect for many it might end up being a close friend rather than a lover.

236color · Answer

I married my wife when I was 28. I'm 64 now. Showing no signs of that changing. How old is old?

Anonymous · Answer

Knowing these days generation are lacking of everything.. Be it commitment, seriousness, respectful, and list goes on, i would say the chances of such thing happening is low compared to previously

FreyaRed · Answer

Unlikely. Every socioeconomic and sociopsychological development in last decades is working against it.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

If you are just friends, then yeah. Just becomes a game of who draws breath longer than the other. Otherwise it is becoming lesser.

Lunatic1 · Answer

I think it's possible, but less frequently occuring

BLP11520 · Answer

It is even if your relationship is not ideal

Anonymous · Answer

It's possible. Can't be with someone from the USA though, then it isn't possible.

DubiousIntentions · Answer

It is possible, but in today's screwed-up world, not probable.

clampfan101 · Answer

As possible as it is to stay dedicated. I intend to honor every single vow of marriage, and look forward to spending the rest of my life with a partner.

Kristierose · Answer

GOD I HOPE SO THAT IS ONE OF MY HPPES FOR OUR FUTURE

Is growing old with someone possible these days?

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