How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone?

[petitedollbabee]

This may seem like a no-brainer question, or the answer may not be something that can be explained, but im curious as to what people’s thoughts are.

[caring__1]

People have short-term priorities and long-term priorities. Unfortunately, it is common for people to choose partners based on their short-term priorities. When the short-term priorities are no longer relevant or have already been made, what is left? If a girl gets married to be a mother, after becoming a mother, the partner becomes irrelevant. If she marries to have a partner who focuses on teamwork, that priority remains, even after the birth of the kids. If a guy chooses a partner because he's curious how she looks with her clothes off, what's left after he's seen her with her clothes off?

Rather than focus on what feels good for the moment, ask yourself what will feel good 20, 30, 40, 50 and 60 years from now. Are those qualities presently existing, or do you expect the other person to develop those qualities? Basing a relationship on unspoken expectations often leads to frustration and disappointment.

Do you focus only on your own future expectations, or do you also consider your partner's future expectations? Look at what you've done to attract a partner. Do you plan to prioritize putting forth a legitimate effort to maintain the bait you used to attract your partner, or do you see the bait as irrelevant once the fish is caught? Maybe you want your partner to desire you forever, yet will your partner desire you after you gain an additional 100#? Will your partner believe you're putting forth the same effort you expect your partner to put forth? Long-term relationships flourish only when both continue to prioritize considering how their choices impact their partner.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. "How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone?" You are asking about your own feelings. Do you have a tendeny to be less than candid with yourself about yor feelings? Do you have insecurities that make you deceive yourself?

2. How do you know if they want to spend the rest of their life with you? If they say they want to be with you forever, but you don't trust what they say, then you simply don't trust them, and you should not choose a permanent partner who you do not trust.

3. How do you know it will work? Do you have mutual lust, love, trust, and respect? Do you have realistic expectations? Do you know that good relationships occasionally experience conflict? Have you previously experienced conflict with your partner and resolved it in a way that was acceptable to both of you?

4. Beyond all of the above, you can never KNOW with absolute certainty that a relationship will work. Spend time getting to know your partner but there is always some element of risk. "You've gotta take a chance if you wanna find romance!" -- OAW

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[lildkman1090]

Honestly for me she brought me out of my deep depression she was a beacon when everything else was dark she gave me the strength to push on she believed in me when I had all but gave up she helped me overcome some of the toughest parts of my life and when you meet that person you’ll know it was the first woman I ever pushed past my limits and overcame my stupid weaknesses and we both fell to darkness we both turned into alchohaulics and drinking was the downfall and it single-handedly destroyed the women I loved and she still to this day is drinking telling everyone she doesn’t have a issue it was all me I quit tho but that was true love but when you aren’t strong and don’t stand against your fears and weakness like drinking like we were the fighting and she wrecked 2 trucks we were so stressed but I’ll stop now

[Still-alive]

This would be my best guess but if you live with someone for so long and know each other so well to the point where you honestly can’t imagine life without them… id say thats when you know. It could take years before you get to that point though

[exitseven]

You never get tired of being with them and when you are apart it is like you are missing an appendage. You can sit quietly and not have to carry on a conversation. Everything you thought you knew about a relationship has changed.

[jimmy2]

It like
I can't see live without you
You are always over at his place
Can't see any light between you 2

[Anonymous]

You don't. It just happens. In fact any sort of "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you" type emotions should disgust you.

"You cannot pledge your will will be the same tomorrow, or it's not longer your will." -Rousseau

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

If I live with a girl for some time, this could true. But I do want married life.

[jojoiwiwbwjo]

I never know xD
People tend to ruin things by themselves

[Charliefretz329]

You never know for sure. You are just flooded with feel good vibes for long enough and you become more convinced

[eagle1951]

love is a funny thing, it hits you like a ton of bricks, but every day you have to work at it

[swettannie]

Well, you'll just know

[CubaPirate]

You're married

[petitedollbabee]

Ok.. but how do you know that you want to marry them? That’s pretty much the same thing that I’m asking.