this is over distance we met a few years ago at a mutual friends party and started talking online
I met this woman a few months ago and last night she finally admitted that she likes me but the thing is I can see that she is very afraid of being vulnerable whereas I am not she seems to have fear of abandonment
Anyway she obtains her income by being on social media and she posts a lot of things relating to her work on this. The thing is she posts things like if a man is not as successful as her she cannot even be around him. Whereas with me I can associate with anyone I do not care who they are
She claims that I am like family to her and she did wear her best outfit for me on my birthday
she says things about her friends to me and she seems very upset when her friends think she is weird but she also says that she is so confident that she doesn’t care what others think of her
She says on her social media that she wants a guy who is wealthy. But with me she claims that money does not matter to her when it comes to love
she told me that her social media is just a game and she also told me when this guy was sending her gifts that it was just a game as part of the social media
She asks guys their height
She has lip fillers and spends a lot of money on her appearance (not that this matters but it may help with your assessment)
She said that she could not even be around a man who isn’t as successful as her but thing is I am just some ordinary guy
I have helped her with one part of her social media and I have achieved massive results for her whereas on her own she was fairly idle and just quite lazy with it
I am qualified in communications so I know how to increase audience
I don’t know what to think of this
Should I stay with her or go?
I do like her and she knows it but I don’t know if she’s being real with me or fake as in she is fake in general and just wants me to remain in her life so she does not feel vulnerable
if I delete her I may lose her forever
What Girls Said
she changes her mind all the time. i think she doesn't know who she is truly and might have some form of mental health problem. possibly narcissism.
i would make a list of how many narcistic red flag she has then make your mind up based on that.
Yeah I think she may have borderline personality disorder. She has an extreme fear of abandonment which is the hallmark of it. Given you have highlighted (I appreciate your insight by the way it’s amazing) the constant changing of mind and lack of identity - seems like BPD
It's sort of hard to tell. I think she has a wall built. She may be genuine but could be playing you as well. Or just sees you as a friend. Have you tried getting intimate or flirting with her. Break her walls down
She seems to alternate between hot and cold. When it came to her admitting feelings I had to ask her twice because she did not answer the question. I told her to be honest and she said yes but she spends a lot of time on her own
I agree with you tho. She has a huge wall built. I think on the one hand she wants love but on the other she is too scared to be vulnerable.
Ask your self if that's something you want to deal with
What attributes of her do you like? You seem to be listing more of her unlikable traits so that kinda tells me that you’re not really into her
I honestly think you are right. For some reason this connection appeals to me and I don’t know why it does
Maybe the fact that she seems to be closed off and has her guard up is intriguing to you