Never met him in person but I still find myself drawn to him?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy online a while back and we live in the same state but have never met in person. We both have significant others and he plans to propose to his girlfriend soon and I’m truly happy for him.

I never message him first, but he messages me throughout the day nearly everyday when we are both at work. We never talk about things that are inappropriate and I love my boyfriend. I just truly enjoy speaking with my friend and I think the feeling is mutual otherwise he wouldn’t message me everyday and try to keep the conversation going, or even tell me goodnight every night.

My boyfriend trusts me and I’ve offered to show him the messages but he says he doesn’t need to see them. My friend says his girlfriend says the same thing. Should I feel bad? Am I doing something wrong?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, this is a tricky situation. Emotions can definitely get confusing, even if nothing physical is happening.

A few things I'd think about. First, it's good your boyfriend and his girl trust you guys. But is talking daily really respecting those relationships? If my girl was texting some dude all the time, I'd start wondering what's really up you know?

Also, you never know how these online "friendships" could develop feelings down the road if you're not careful. Feelings are real even without meeting yet.

Personally I think I'd take a step back from the texts just to be safe. You like your guy, right? Then don't give him any reasons to doubt you, even if it seems harmless now.

Maybe tell this other dude you need to cool it for a while, just to keep proper boundaries. Nothing good ever really comes from secret close friendships with people that aren't your partner.

Just my two cents! I'd hate for you or your relationships to get messed up down the line over something that started out small. Stay focused on who you really care about in person I say.