Can a breakup permanently affect someone?

[Anonymous]

Like I was one of those guys who thought they would never get a girlfriend and when I did I woke up thinking everyday that it couldn’t be reality but it actually happened so eventually my mind processed it then it shifted to ok I have never been in a relationship but try to be the best boyfriend you can invest your whole self into the relationship. Well it didn’t turn out to be enough I fully invested myself but I simply think over time she got bored with the relationship cause due to my autism I’m very simplistic I don’t need a lot of social outings I’m perfectly fine staying at home watching a documentary. I feel like I’m at a worse point then where I was before the relationship it’s one thing to think you aren’t worthy of a relationship but then when someone goes and leaves you and validates it it really sucks. So we broke up in may and everyday is like the day we broke up it’s almost stuck on a repetitive cycle in my head. It’s almost like my brain experienced a better life and can’t let that go

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes, of course.

You learn that,

you are on your own, always,

you’ve only got yourself,

you’re your own hero,

there’s no happily ever after,

all the fairytales are lies,

love hurts,

betrayal is no different than killing a person,

you’ll want to die,

you’ll fall asleep on the floor with the eyes that can no longer cry,

you’ll think the life has ended,

you’ll forget how to eat,

you’ll look at yourself in the mirror and won’t recognize your face,

your body is alive but you’ll feel dead,

you’ll suffer,

you’ll reach the bottom,

but here’s a good thing.
From there, there’s only way - UP.

You’ll keep waking up everyday,

your heart won’t stop beating,

you survived,

now you’ve got to swim your way up to the surface,

you remember things,

you stop idealizing them,

you forgive yourself your mistakes,

slowly you stop crying,

you go out to meet your friends,

and one day smile crawls up on your face again,

the first real smile of happiness,

you are surprised,

how can you be happy! You thought you lost the ability to feel that.
But no, you learn to smile again,

you learn to dance again,

you learn to kiss again,

you learn to dare to want to love again,

and maybe even get the best kiss of your life somewhere along the way.

You live your best life; with a wounded heart, that was brave enough to love hard and love selflessly,

You keep that wound as a beautiful and proud reminder of how deep your love is,

but you are stronger than ever,

your broken heart us stronger than the whole one you head.
Your broken heart knows that it can shatter and still survive,

You are stronger than you have ever been,

you don’t take your happiness for granted,

you look back and choose to learn on your mistakes instead of becoming bitter.

And most importantly you have pearned the wisest 4 words a human needs to know, whatever you are going through right now

“This, too, shall pass.”

[Angxl3120]

It won't affect you for at least more than a year, you might feel guilty or be sad but at the end it is what it is, so think about it that was it really your fault or was it because of her, im not saying that you should blam her. If you still love her maybe text her right now.

But it would be easy for you to move on if you know whose fault it was. Work on yourself, i dont mean chage your personality if you like watching documentaries its great, im just saying working on your self would make you forget her easier, workout , sleep better, eat better, help a old person in need, be a greater person, atlast be happier thats all it matter

And after doing all this for a year or two , you won't notice how you got a girlfriend who loves you for who you are, and the best part is you would love her more than anything.

[KingslayerC]

You're grieving over a loss, and these feelings are completely normal. Of course, for you, they are enhanced due to autism and it being your one and only relationship. But chances are very high that once you are done grieving, you will be able to find another one, and maybe even learn how to better spot someone who matches you. Also, you can try to honestly reflect on your behavior in the relationship and decide if some of it could be adjusted in your future relationships.

With all that being said, trying to go out and socialize will probably help with the process. It could also expose you to other opportunities as well. Good luck bro.

[lightbulb27]

breakups can be very painful and takes time to heal. Permanently, of course it can, if you allow it. It's much better to take the learnings and lessons and value from it, grow, and apply that to the future. When you date, you find out about yourself... your likes, needs... helps you select someone better.

You aren't the only person with issues, nor the only one to ever break up. Most people go through that one or more times in life.

[Bethany22]

You sound like my type of guy!

[IslaTheWitch]

As a fellow autistic (AS) I feel for you. In my case the important part was finding a person who is as much uninterested in social life as me. My husband is an introvert and it somehow works.

Of course, there are other aspects you have to keep in mind...

[provokeesmokee]

Only if you let it.

It sounds like you have some ideas on what went wrong, but you may need help processing it.

I recommend getting therapy, especially with someone experienced with patients on the spectrum. They can help you process, reflect, and bounce back from this.

[VictorMachiavelli]

It can if you let it. Before you thought you'd never get a girlfriend, but you got one. You were wrong. You're probably feeling like that again, but if you can get one and that girl liked you, there will be others who like you as well.

You and her just weren't compatible because she's an extrovert who wants to go out all the time. You'll be more compatible with an introverted girl.

[Anonymous]

I went through something very similar several years ago.

All my childhood being told that I will never make a woman happy much less be able to stand being around me. Most women in my life treated me like this too.

I found that special girl and after a while she dumped me, for reasons she admitted were not my fault. I spent three years mourning that loss, I thought I was going to die alone.

I haven't been able to get into anything serious afterwards and eventually I stopped caring about whether or not I was going to die alone or not. If that is my fate then so be it.

[LiamJHayden]

Some people fall into what is sometimes called "one-itis." Those people convince themselves that out of all the billions and billions on the planet they can only be happy with "the one." For those people, yes it can affect them for years or even decades.

The reality is that there are lots and lots of really great ladies out there, but you have to leave yesterday behind or it will kill today and tomorrow for you.

[Anonymous]

My best advice to you, and any guy for that matter is this, "Never love ANY WOMAN so much that you cannot live without her".

Sorry this happened to you man. But now you can grow from it. Don't EVER let this happen to you again. 👍🙂

[ProbablyClueless]

There are definitely things you can do to minimize the impact of a breakup and process your emotions in a healthy fashion, but there are absolutely permanent changes that happen to people in breakups.

[BoopBoopBeep]

The next one will come along and you won't even care anymore. Don't worry bro.

[Still-alive]

The time after a breakup is when most are most open to change and evolve into better version of themselves in my opinion. it can also make you bitter and hate more. so yes.

[Anonymous]

I think real breakups always affect a person forever, but you can choose to make it a good kind or a bad kind.

[Nifrayu]

Yes, it definitely can if you were in love and you were so sure they were the one.

[Nikki1989]

Only for the weak.

[WilmaReportu]

Sounds like the words of someone who was permanently affected.

[shades777]

ask a bad question get a bad answer

[Anonymous]

Add me so we can chat

[sheikalana]

Absolutely.

[In_Trance]

only if you let it

[Jmmmfi4]

DEFINITELY