Is it healthy to be in a relationship without arguments?

Question

Me (26M) and my girlfriend (20F) have never had a classic argument.

We have had different opinions about stuff but we are both very rational and trust each other enough to just talk about stuff before anything reaches a boiling point.

Some people say arguments are a natural part of a relationship and make your bond stronger if you manage to pull through.

After being with her for a few months nothing like this has happened, I have not felt angry towards her and she hasn't felt this way towards me either. Even though couples around us do it very commonly.

The only thing I have noticed about us is that our relationship progresses really slowly but this is also due to the culture here as well as our personalities.

Let me know your thoughts please as I'd really like to know more.

Updates

+1 y

Update since there are so many helpfully posts Thank you so much for this!

We don't agree on everything and we have had disagreements but instead of having an argument about things we try to alert the other person to have a chat before it reaches this point.
We also dont shy away from harder topics that we know we have opposite views on, but we generally try to take a meet in the middle approach to those things.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

It’s only been a couple months, so that’s normal.

I believe with my S/O, we didn’t have our first argument until almost a year in, and even then, it was more of a conflict to resolve than a heated argument.

Conflicts are normal, and they don’t need to be heated arguments.

If you encounter disagreements and can work through them calmly and maturely, then that’s really good.

The important thing is ongoing healthy communication and healthy conflict resolution whenever it occurs.

If you two are open and honest, not bottling up anything inside, not ignoring unresolved issues, not letting anything linger that will create resentment, leaving nothing unresolved, and you’re still not having any conflicts, then it means you have very high compatibility — that’s not a bad thing at all.

Problems occur when there’s a false sense of compatibility by ignoring issues, ignoring needs, and not addressing the elephant in the room — pretending that everything is okay, when it’s actually not.

As long as you’re not doing that, you’re good. 🙂

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

When I was married to my first husband, we got along great. We didn't "fight" about things. He was easy to get along with. Once I asked him to argue with me, and he just looked at me and told me to go comb my hair.
Maybe once a year we would have a big juicy argument, but that changed whenh he joined his band and left me alone too much. So, even though we got along, he did something
that ended our marriage.

One day I was sitting on a park bench, alone, just sitting there cause he was rehearsing. Then this guy I didn't even know came up to me and started singing that song "Hey there lonely girl" to me. That really stuck, and I felt so alone even though I had a husband. Pretty sad.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes it is healthy but you've only been together for a couple of months. The realness of the relationship doesn't usually set in until about nine months or more when you have to deal with bigger issues like if you live together money issues might come up or how much sex you're having now vs when you first got together. It may not end up being an issue for you guys which would be a great and beautiful thing but bumps in the road are surely to happen to most couples sooner or later.

The fact that you guys have good communication will set you apart from the typical couple that hits those bumps though.

ohsheeT · Answer

For me yes it is there's no reason to argue about anything

If you arguing about something that means somebody's upset that means somebody hurts somebody or somebody did something to the other person or somebody just has to be a right fighter

Life is meant to be happy a relationship is meant to be happy

That's why we communicate

There are some people that just love to argue I like to stay away from them

TrueConfection · Answer

My husband and I have been together for over 20 years. I think I can count our arguments on one hand. Like you, we have differences of opinions and we sometimes just agree to disagree. Neither of us feel we need to prove who's right and who's wrong.

Summeroflove · Answer

It’s not a bad problem to have. No relationship is perfect. At some point or another you will have disagreements. People who fight with each other day in and dah out. Really probably aren’t compatible and are trying to force the other to conform to what they want

Avicenna · Answer

Maybe not arguments, but disagreements

Anonymous · Answer

Having a relationship without arguments isn't necessarily unhealthy. It's great that you and your girlfriend are able to communicate openly and resolve differences through rational discussions. Not all couples argue, and it's possible to maintain a healthy and strong relationship without frequent conflicts.

Arguments can be a natural part of relationships, but they don't have to be the sole indicator of a strong bond. Every relationship is unique, and what matters most is effective communication, trust, and mutual understanding. If you both are content with the way you handle disagreements and your relationship is progressing at a comfortable pace, there's no need to force arguments just for the sake of it.

Ultimately, the key is to maintain a healthy, happy, and respectful connection with your partner, and it sounds like you're doing just that. If you continue to communicate openly and support each other, your relationship can thrive without the need for typical arguments.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Of course it’s healthy to now be arguing often. I’d also say that you’re in the ‘shallow end of the pool’ still. I don’t even think you know someone very well for under a year. Then, think of all the unexplored territory. How to celebrate holidays. Buying houses and finances. Work schedules. How to raise children.
The topic that always was a challenge for my wife and I was integrating our families into our lives. We’re two different ethnicities and each had different holiday traditions, ideas of how much privacy we had in our own home, and how active our parents were in raising our children. I believed I was their parent, her parents believed they were the experienced ones and should I’ve making decisions for us.
No matter what, always be respectful to each other, and it helps to define the end state you wish to arrive at so you can work toward a common goal rather than working against each other.

madhatters4 · Answer

i think arguments can be healthy. i think avoiding arguments can be unhealthy

but if you have a way to sort out disagreements and conflicting opinions/ideas/etc then you don't necessarily need an argument so long as the disagreement and conflict is actually resolved

i think the idea that people who aren't arguing are actually doing harm to their relationship comes from the idea that those people aren't actually resolving any issues because they are unwilling to do the difficult work of sorting through differences of opinions, ideas, etc

sheikalana · Answer

This is pretty much the same as asking 'Is it normal to be in a sexless relationship?' no, it's not. At some point you're going to disagree with your partner that doesn't mean you need to have a heated argument. At some point they will do something that triggers you and annoys you and you might it might lead to a disagreement. When it happens just try to solve it as adults no need to yell at each other and be disrespectful. It's fine to argue it happens to all of us. How you argue says a lot about the future of your relatipnship.

kmg9150 · Answer

Arguments are not necessarily bad though, All it is discussion to where people voicing their opinion. Fights are healthy in relationships. Not having them isn't bad either, I feel you need to give yourself some more time in a relationship though, your technically still in the “honeymoon” phase, which goes without hiccups.

Word of wisdom, women say one thing and feel another more often than not. They will say everything is fine, etc. when they really got something boiling and expect you to know otherwise from what they say. Pay attention to body language, behavior's…. One day they love you and everything is fine, then the next they dont.

MrOracle · Answer

No, not at all. It suggests that EITHER you did well having aligned morals, values, and life goals (either by incredible luck, or, hopefully, by thorough vetting of each other before you agreed to commit to each other), OR, you've purposely avoided talking about or dealing with anything in the future that you KNOW is going to cause friction - kicking the can down the road to avoid arguments.

Hopefully it's the former, because if it's the latter (and I've seen both happen), then when it finally DOES have to be faced and dealt with, it will like be very ugly.

BCRanger10 · Answer

If you're just a few months in and you're in it for the long haul (in other words, you're looking towards marriage), then chances are it'll happen at some point.

That said, if you ask me, what's more important is how you handle difficulties and differences of opinion, lifestyle, and other things of that nature. Some couples might be good at calmly and rationally talking things through. Others might get into occasionally intense arguments. It ultimately depends on the individuals and the subject matter.

JacobJordan · Answer

absolutely. The thing to remember is not every relationship will have arguments and even if they do the health of relationship depends on how you and your partner handle it. my wife and I have been together for 16 years and have never had an argument. we have had disagreements every couple does. the difference between the 2 is an argument is typically rude. a disagreement is respectful. if you ever get into an argument you and your partner need to remember 3 things
1. it is not you vs her or her vs you. it is both of you vs the problem
2. both of you have feelings so don't say something you will regret if you can't avoid that then you need to take a step back and cool off
3. regardless of what it is about you need to come together after and make sure both of you feel good and don't have any negativity attached.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

It depends on the partners' temperaments. If both are more calm and thinking before feeling and opening their mouths, I think the number of arguments can be reduced to zero.

But as the walking volcano of emotions, I don't have personal experiences lol.

Benjiman19 · Answer

I find it better when there are arguments. Yes, it's good to have an argument every now and then. You get to learn your partners triggers, their likes and dislikes. You learn more about yourself in the process too. In the end, you're closer to the one you love.

However, too many arguments may break your relationship. Leaving you alone and dissatisfied with yourself. But learn from your mistakes. Always ask the bad questions before doing the bad things. Learn what your partners limits are. Learn your own limits. But don't go to far.

boggboss · Answer

People confuse a relationship without problems and a relationship without conflict or problems if u are able to fix the issues u have without it becoming a argument and by healthy communication I think is a good think if their are no issues because 1 or both parties bottle up their problems that would be a issue

EmmaMary · Answer

From time to time my husband and I will have a difference of opinion, perhaps even a disagreement, which we actually consider to be quite normal and rational.

However we do have a very strong golden rule in that we will not go to bed until we have resolved our differences.

Jonnywayne · Answer

It's not my thing. I think in a partnership you can have a real argument sometimes. As long as both of them come to an agreement afterwards and get along again. This then strengthens the willingness to take other people's concerns into account.

Screenwriter · Answer

Maybe the arguers have more heat in their relationships. But this isn't always a great thing. Sometimes an even-handed, rational approach works if it works for both of you and that appears to be the case.

Of course, you've only known each other a few months. Maybe there's nothing big that's come up. Notwithstanding, you two do you. If your relationship works, let it be.

Singing_Hollow · Answer

Its different for everyone. Me and my partner argued more in the beginning because we were testing waters and pushing boundaries in order to see what made one another tick now we talk more and have healthier ways to resolve any issues. Your relationship is running slower then normal and maybe you havnt had time to be in eachothers face.

Holsen · Answer

Totally healthy but it’s unhealthy when you feel like you have created barriers lately even though it seems that nothing is wrong, but in a relationship where you feel the bond you have with each other but dont have arguments then it’s best to keep it that way!

Sjoerd85 · Answer

Every relationship needs arguments. You can never 100% agree on everything, and you shouldn't build up frustrations. I have actually seen a marriage of a close friend stranded on that, so I an happy me and my wife do occasionally have issues to talk about...

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Perhaps it is a sign of "health" in your relationship, that you don't argue. I used to work with two guys who said that they had never been in an argument with their wives. It is hard to imagine! But I think if you find a way to exist as a couple and not argue, it is a good sign.

ReverseCowboy · Answer

The issue with no fights is that you assume and take the partner for granted. You don't know where the limit is and keep pushing. One day you might overstep and its beyond a tragedy that can't be repaired. So it's a ticking bomb. Better defuse things before it gets out of hand.
In my personal opinion I feel like the girls doesn't love me if she doesn't care to be angry when I obviously are out of line...

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Arguments will happen. It is important that neither of you go on the defensive. Sometimes arguments can get personal and accusative. This is were one or the other go from listening to a defensive posture and the issue no longer is the focus.

One way to tell if you are with a narcissist is if the other person is always on the defensive, turns the argument in their favor and can never take responsibility.

molonski2 · Answer

I think you are both fortunate , that you can resolve issues without massive confrontation , so long as one or another is not bottling all this stuff up.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

I’d say that’s where one of my relationships failed. Our first major argument wasn’t had and ended the relationship. I wished we talked it out. Disagreements and arguments I’d say are a natural part if relationships. The idea is to grow from each one of them and maintain respect for one another. It’s healthier to hash things out than to keep them bottled up and morph into resentment.

ohmyguy · Answer

Sure... realisticly... at some point you either establish with some degree of curtainty that each of you must have mutually. agreeable definition of how the part or the role your agreed moving forward should play out. you. casted the other as your costar.

Together your producing. directing what starts as a shit show n gets canceled
Or you get your act together... n win critics over by being a hit show season after season.
..

hppygrl · Answer

It’s not unhealthy at all as long as you have open communication. A few months may be a bit short to predict if you will ever have an argument but again, not unhealthy in and of itself. 😊

Anonymous · Answer

Depends. At least she doesn’t like drama for the sake of drama. But I once dating a much younger woman about 6 years ago. She was Asian and I’m American. She rarely showed her emotions which was nice at first but unbeknownst to me I was doing things to piss her off. Then one day she ghosted me after our first minor argument. Dated for 9 months too.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it’s healthy, don’t change the fact that it’s also weird 😂😂

How are you not gonna argue about anything? One of you is obviously too agreeable in order to satisfy the other. So yes , in that sense it’s not healthy for the agreeable individual. For the one sacrificing and being a people pleaser.

Its not healthy for her or him.

Anonymous · Answer

no... once you hit the year or two mark and you've had no arguments at all... someone is holding something back. and one day it will come out and explode. so just watch out...

i'm actually surprised you're asking then when you've only been together for a few months. of course no real arguments occur in the first few months...

AimeeKyle · Answer

It depends on the reason for no arguments. If it’s because the couple is a true fit / match, no. If it’s because each partner suppress their real feelings to appease the other all the time (it’s ok sometimes)…it won’t turn out well. It has a good potential to end negatively, with resentment.

Twalli · Answer

The problem with relationships that don't have arguments usually stems from one or both people avoiding them by not bringing up issues that would cause them. Since those issues are never resolved it just simmers and the one not bringing it up gets more frustrated because the issue isn't being fixed, while the other might be unaware of the fact it's an issue.

Chevy1_kb · Answer

Yes it's very healthy but there's going to be at least 1or 2in a long term relashionship in the amount of years there's at least got to be 1 if there's none at all well who ever your with is a keeper deffinetly

Drooogie4 · Answer

Its normal.  Disagreements will always happen. And probably some arguments eventually. But discussing stuff before you're "boiling" is certainly the way to handle it, and keep your relationship

lightbulb27 · Answer

haven't hit a strong enough nerve, so it's fine. I'd just wonder if the full emotions and issues are being dealt with. question is if when there is an argument, you can resolve it. good luck!

RavVid · Answer

What the hell could be wrong with a guy and gal getting along harmoniously?

The only thing that could be wrong is if one of the couple is suppressing their feelings and suddenly explodes with previously unsaid resentment of the past.

nastyb · Answer

of course you're not arguing, there's nothing serious to argue about. however if you are married, with 3 kids, a mortgage, car loans, both working full time jobs, there will be plenty of things for you both to argue about.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

I was in a three year relationship when we never once argued. We never raised our voices. I don't recall even disagreeing about anything. We just enjoyed each other's company.

katiesmuff · Answer

A good relationship is bound to run into some tough spots along the way which likely will become an argument (or disagreement preferably) but not last long.

alice55 · Answer

Yes it's relationship with argument that aren't healthy. It's never good to insult or yell at each other.

Uby10000 · Answer

last time i thought the same i jinxed myself i think it's for the best that neither you nor her think too much about it, especially this early

Sarahr123 · Answer

It’s good it means it is a healthy relationship

Anonymous · Answer

Very healthy
It takes two hands to make noise
When both of you care each other so much that either of you do not wish to do or speak anything that the other person won't like... there's no room for conflict

_NightGuard_ · Answer

I don't think it's possible, if there is a problem-free relationship like love and doubt every minute, like everything else, I think there is a problem with that love.

Unit1 · Answer

its pretty nice if it just works ISn't it? Enjoy the harmony and treasure it. 😌 i know i would love it without having those huge ass arguments resulting in yelling contests.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

It seems like this could lead to anger building up.

Sofargone93 · Answer

Nope. I want all the smoke from my wife. 😅. We'll make up after.

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

I don't think it's healthy to be in a relationship WITH arguments. Mature people discuss their problems, they don't yell and throw fits.

Finfin1981 · Answer

I think if you aren’t arguing it means someone is always giving way

colaman94 · Answer

I would love a relationship without arguments with the right sort of woman of my choice 😆😊💟😈🎉🥳

strateguy632 · Answer

you describe the success of advice in book men from mars. good advice.

TheGuyYouCrave · Answer

Its possible that you are her rock, so she is following your lead. What is your relationship like? Do you lead or her? Equality? Who has the responsibility?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Yes, it is healthy. Only on g@g would anyone say it is not normal.

hassan9873 · Answer

It's a fantasy i guess.. to have a relationship and not have arguments.

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

I never argue with my partner. We disagree on lots of things but we never argue.

SoJust · Answer

Of course, this is what is healthy, you will not argue, you will understand each other, you will choose, you will count

Starrrboy · Answer

Yeah.. you probably don't agree on everything but it never leads up to a fight or being quite mad at each other.. that's great!.

dudeinohio · Answer

Knowing how to communicate properly is a key to a successful relationship. You can disagree; but it's how you handle the disagreement.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Having arguments in a relationship is a sign to break up because of incompatibility.

Is it healthy to be in a relationship without arguments?

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