How to stop being agreealbe?

[JGoesToTown]

Hey,

For context:

A left a toxic enviroment about a year ago. Mostly women there. Not once was I in an unpleasant situation. Some were hurt by not reciprocated feelings, other were out for drama. In the end in all ended the same. I evened out the ground where in my opinion I shouldn't have.

Its all cool when its just some bs going about, but calling people out as creepy or worse (way worse) just for drama is NOT OK. Still I turned the other cheek.

Now Im out. Its been great tbh. Im just afraid I might fall back into the patern of amending outrageous things. How can I prevent it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo dude I hear ya, that sounds like a real shitty situation to be in. Having drama queens try and stir shit up is never fun. But it's good you got yourself outta there, sounds toxic as hell.

To avoid falling back into just pacifying peoples' bs, you gotta work on setting some strong boundaries. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself if someone is falsely accusing you of stuff. Speak your truth confidently.

Also don't be afraid of some conflict - not full blown fights, but calmly sticking to your guns if someone disrespects you. Let them know outright certain behaviors won't fly with you anymore.

Confidence is key too bro. Trust that you know your own intentions and don't need anyone's approval. If drama kicks off just remove yourself from it without engaging further. You do you.

It'll feel weird at first to not be a people pleaser. But you deserve to be around people who respect you, not ones looking to cause problems. You got this man. Own who you are without apology!

[Sonorous]

I don't know what to say except just don't agree to things so much. Maybe start small? Get comfortable with ignoring people or saying no. Get comfortable with them being upset with you because people will always find things be upset about.

[Sonorous]

Helps to be physically competent as well. I was way more agreeable when I didn't have some muscle on me.

[NathanDavis]

therapy

and introspection...

[JGoesToTown]

Introspection, well thats all been done.

But therapy? Is it that bad? :D

[NathanDavis]

therapy is not a bad thing...

therapy will just be a guided introspection... and, when you look at a situation from two different perspectives, it can help you realize even more about your situation...

introspection is a must, and a very good thing you've managed to get there... however, introspection is not something you do once and it is done... it is something you have to keep up for life... I've actually started it around your age and keep up with it even today

therapy could only increase the benefits to it... and also make it more effective and perhaps, would show you how to keep doing it on your own

[Joker_]

try to disagree a bit more