Have you ever made the mistake of trying to change or fix someone?

Question

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wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

Yup, stupid Disney, fairy tales, kids' stories, and society told me I could change anything with the power of love and just doing better myself. That's a lie. I hate that society teaches women that we just need to be the perfect wife type and prince charming will come for you. It doesn't work that way, and too many women aren't taught that there are very few men worthy of that title. The men that are don't need you to be some perfect doll of a wife either. Love does not require your partner to change to fit some standard. If they need changing, they are not the one for you!

AutumnSerenity · Accepted Answer

Nope. People don’t change until something scares them into changing. The best you’ll get out of this is: they’ll tell you what you want to hear and then do whatever they want behind your back. If they need changing, just move on. Not worth the hassle.

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

Not wicked actively or anything, but I’d say so. I think I just hoped she’d chill the fuck out as we got older, and not always be kicking up dust, via me being a stable presence in her life. That was probably fixable stuff, but not something I can play much of a part in fixing. I learned you kind of have to be able to accept someone “as is”, and you can root for change or growth or whatever, but ultimately that person has to want it for themselves to even begin to set out to accomplish positive personal change.

smne35 · Accepted Answer

Not in sense of they're personality or appearance, but to encourage others to improve their economical stance going to school, or stop with the destructive behavior, things of that nature, but to have some one alter their appearance, breast enlargement or nose job, I say, just go find you a women with big breast and nose or lips you desire instead of sculpting someone to fit your profile, encourage to do be better yes, redraw their face and add subtract here and there on their bodies to suit me no,!

Sonorous · Answer

Yeah, change though. Not fix. I tried t so hard to get people I love to not annoy me in certain ways. But love is conditional. And people have default personalities & levels of empathy. Now I don't. If I receive any push back, I don't try to teach. I just sit back & try to ignore it or sometimes just point out the flaw if I want them to be aware of it & to try & change it on their own on their own terms.

HappyWoman34 · Answer

Yes! I liked a guy who I’ll call *Bob;* whom I built up in my head as my ideal mate. He was handsome, rich and charming and a friend of mine at the time. I fell in love with the image I tried to make him fit, in my mind. Then I proceeded to learn the hard way why he wasn’t the man I was expecting.

sheikalana · Answer

I've tried to fix someone I dated briefly. This person had some personal issues and I tried to help him but hey you can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped and later on in life I realized is not my problem to fix other people's issues.

MikeFrench · Answer

One of my pet peeves is when the father of the bride tells the groom: "Make my daughter happy." Oh, hell no. Don't walk, just run!

Crankor · Answer

Even if someone wants to change while your with them, it's highly unlikely you'll ever see the change. It usually happens with the next one or two relationships assuming they really wanted the change. Your just planting the seed of awareness otherwise

ManOnFire · Answer

Nope. But a hell of a lot of women make this mistake.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Yes. I have learn thehard way you can't forced people to be christian

ItsMariusz · Answer

From my experience, people don't really change, they just reveal who they really are.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Nah, I never tried to actively do it, but I hoped that my ex could warm up some of the ideas and values I had.

Thestupidusername · Answer

Nope. I always knew people can't change. People are who they are.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Yes. As they say, it didn't work. I tried it again and guess what it didn't work and the only person it hurt was myself lol

Simslover92 · Answer

Yes and it of course didn't work.

EmpressAJ · Answer

Yes and I learned my lesson 😂I’m not Barbara the builder

boobliker · Answer

yes! it back fired on me big time. never again

mandyfire98 · Answer

Yeah, a narcissist I dated in college.

Djaay · Answer

No... we both worked it together and molded together instead.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

sure, it is not worth it...

genericname85 · Answer

yeah i tried to change someone that's not into me into someone that's into me. spoiler: that shit doesn't work xD

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Yeah, probably batting.5… 🤔😳

Anonymous · Answer

Na girls can’t admit that they are wrong most the time and I’m not going to try and convince someone that they need to change. It’s immaturity at its finest so I’d rather not be with that kind of girl

NathanDavis · Answer

nope

Have you ever made the mistake of trying to change or fix someone?

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