My boyfriend called another girl cute and asked for her whatsapp number. what should I do?

Question

My boyfriend (M 26) and I (F 22) have been in an exclusive long-distance relationship for a year. We are planning to meet for the first time in a few months.

But today I caught him texting a girl he met on Instagram five days ago, calling her cute, and asking for her WhatsApp number while he and I were on a WhatsApp call at the same time. He also told me that he's been deleting their general conversation to hide it from me, so I wouldn't worry. He said he did it because he liked her smile, wanted to make her fall in love with him, and then leave her to boost his ego. He wasn't planning to take it forward, it seems. (He never did anything like this in the past and I can say that he really did love me, at least until I came to know about this incident)

So I confronted him about it, and he's repenting, crying (he really is), and promising me that he'd never do it, and is asking me to take him back.

I'm confused. Why did he do this to me? Should I forgive him and continue this relationship, or should I leave? Help me

Flatmanlewis · Accepted Answer

This is not a nice thing to hear but I’m going to spit some truth out there: a long distance relationship where you haven’t even met the other person yet, is NOT a romantic relationship. It’s just not. The foundation of a relationship is built on little things as much as conversations. Their laugh. There mood in the morning before coffee. Shared meals and grocery shopping and triad trips and pet ownership and how they sleep in bed and a million other events that cannot be shortcut.

I only say this because this is who you caught him chatting with on a technology format. How many girls is he eyeballing walking down the street, or out with his friends, or chatting with at parties. The reality is you say like 2% of his social interaction with the world - there is 98% more that you know nothing about. That’s probably equally or more concerning too.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

"He said he did it because he liked her smile, wanted to make her fall in love with him, and then leave her to boost his ego." I doubt that his explanation is true, but if it is, what does it say about his character? Is this the guy you would want to be the role model for your future sons?

"he's repenting, crying (he really is), and promising me that he'd never do it," And all of that happened ONLY because you caught him. He is sorry. . . that he got caught.

You have been shown a sign; will you heed the warning?

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

He probably seeks for confirmation of his own attractiveness. It's as bad as cheating because, in the long run, it could come to cheating.

The way he wants to do it - hurt another girl to boost his ego is cruel, and it would be a no-go for me.

I wouldn't continue the relationship with a guy like that. If he really wants to be with you, I would request him to go for therapy and solve his inferiority complex, low self-esteem and whatever other problems led him to the current behaviour.

But in his current state, from my perspective, he is not relationship material.

rosemilk · Accepted Answer

you've never met him. he lives far away. he's telling you that he's calling other girls cute and talking to them, and even told you he has been deleting their conversations and hiding it from you. i don't know how many red flags you need waved in front of you

THEN he tries to play victim and cry and say he won't do it again... that's called manipulation. he is probably in a few long distance relationships and you're just one of them

do what you want, but honestly it's a good thing you haven't met him in person. move on

Finchie40 · Answer

No longer call him your boyfriend and don’t waste anymore of your time with him , if he truly valued you , he wouldn’t be hitting on other girls ‘ , kick him to the curb where he belongs

4ngelic · Answer

probably break up. long distance doesn't really work out anyways for the obv part that you can fuck each other. dude was obviously trying to get laid because you're not there to fuck him not for the bs excuse he gave (which is so not a redeeming excuse either like who chats up people to break their heart for an ego boost...). he also probably has cheated on you before, and likely will again. anyways if he's bs excuse isn't bs then you should definitely leave him because that would mean is a total cunt who is playing you, not just some cheating horny lonely boyfriend

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry to tell you this, but it's not worth it. I've been in a long distance relationship twice. The first one was a cheat, he had multiple relationships and over the course of our relationship, he was also engaged and I didn't know it. In my opinion, if a guy does it once he will do it again. He's not serious about you. And he's not worth messing up your mind. When my relationship came to an end, I was completely lost I was depressed , I still remember the beginning of the year 2023 , it took me a very long time to actually be happy again and move on. Now I have moved on. I suggest you to end this relationship as soon as possible and not to meet him he's not worth it.

hahahmm · Answer

If a guy is really into you he's not going to be looking to cheat or actively chasing other women. And in the rare cases where a guy does it means he's not the type you should take seriously & you should dump him.

The sooner you move on the sooner you can find a better guy.

veganrogue · Answer

Leave. RUN!

He wanted to destroy a girl to boost his ego?

First of all, that's the worst bullshit I've ever heard in my life. And if it were 'true', do you really want a guy who would do that?

Who knows if he tears are even real? He just had to invent something quickly because he got caught.

In my opinion, once a liar, always a liar.

Daniela1982 · Answer

So you finally learned why long-distance relationships can suck. When the cat's away, the mice do play. It's just too easy for someone to cheat as you are not there to know anything that is going on except what they tell you. He could be meeting girls online and screw a different girl each night and you would have no clue. You can see he is already showing some of the traits of such an action. So, what are you going to do about it?

YesterdaysChild · Answer

Time to vacate the premises and run.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Dump him, he's either a scumbag because he's cheating on you, or a scumbag for tricking that girl. Also being egotistical is a sign the person is an asshole in general, and thus not relationship material.

Unit1 · Answer

1. He's cheating and you caught him 2. He's immature and childish with this "make her fall in love and then leave her" ego boost Why is this idiot still your boyfriend?

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Leave him immediately. Someone who cheats that quickly and then puts on the waterworks is an manipulative a-hole.

Olivier-628 · Answer

Long distance for a year without ever meeting? you are not even in a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Drop an anvil on her head and say Whats App

sean1234 · Answer

To boost his ego or the demons ego that is inside of him?

Anonymous · Answer

Fboy alert. Go up to him, tilt ur head, put on a flirty face and look right at him. When his jaw drops (and it will, no fkboy can ignore that), hang ur good hand to the outside. Yet another fkboy gets slapped easily. It sucks. Trust me.

ByronWolf · Answer

If it’s been over a year and you haven’t met in person. Red flag. Secondly I would argue that isn’t the first person he has had those convos with.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I wouldn't be with any guy that thinks text messaging is communication. Instant pass.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

So, you’re not in an actual relationship yet… As long as you’re long distance, he’s going to be playing with you. Sorry.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

An LDR is not a real relationship. A person will ALWAYS choose someone in close proximity over an LDR.

Anonymous · Answer

Because a long distance relationship isn’t a real relationship - he’s physically lonely.

DreamLife7 · Answer

Long distance relationships don't exist. He's not with you. And why are u asking," what you should do?" Do you not have a brain? Are u that insecure?

My boyfriend called another girl cute and asked for her whatsapp number. what should I do?

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