How do I respect his boundaries?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has been annoyed by me and being really rude to me and I didn’t understand why. We had a sit down talk and he told me the reason he was being like that was because I wasn’t respecting his boundaries. He said when he’s ready for me he will talk but to give him space.

[VIVANT]

Had he ever told you before this what his boo da ties are? Or did he just start being rude & so you asked what the problem was? How’s re you supposed to know what he needs if he doesn’t tell you?

I’ve gotten mad at people for intruding in my space then realized I ever actually communicated anything so really how can I expect them to know, so now I’m careful to communicate things in advance in a calm way do that I didn’t do ip getting mad and making people feel bad or having them understandably getting mad at me for getting annoyed for stuff I never communicated.

his whole approach is giving bad faith. He didn’t communicate then he’s rude then he tells you to wait on him for when he feels like it. He’s young so who knows but if he keeps this up you’re going to have to sort out w sit your boundaries aw. Is this even ok with you? Him being rude for who knows why then him rudely telling you when he felt like it he will communicate? Would you talk that’s at to him? Maybe you would I don't know but it’s terrible.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, it's tough when relationship issues come up like that. But it was really mature of him to talk to you about what was bothering him instead of just being rude. Respecting boundaries is super important.

A few things that could help:

- Give him space when he asks for it. Don't constantly text or call if he's said he needs alone time.

- Make sure to really listen when he communicates how he's feeling instead of getting defensive. Take it as feedback to improve things.

- Pay attention to his signals instead of just assuming. If he seems distracted or short, back off for a bit.

- Suggest doing your own thing sometimes so he doesn't feel smothered. Show him you can each do separate activities.

- Be understanding that everyone needs different amounts of alone/couple time. Don't take it personally.

- Compliment him when you notice him opening up more to build trust.

It'll take some adjusting but as long as you really respect his needs, I'm sure things will get better. Open communication is key. You've got this!

[VIVANT]

Did you read? He was being rude. He did not tell her anything until she said bc he was being rude, if he communicated in the first place then she would know what he needed. He was not being mature he is playing control game here.

I’m really curious if you saw a post form a guy with his partner acting the way he is if you would say the woman is being “mature”

He’s stone walking and being petulant and he has still refused to say what the issue is, just everything on his terms.

When you are aware of what your boundaries are you communicate them. Saying you’re not respecting my space is not communicating. She may have no idea what that means to him, nor did you ask her if he had lol

[askthis56]

with respect boundiras