I can’t always give my boyfriend the time he wants or needs … Should I break it off for good?

[Anonymous]

[_Maya_]

Is it a problem for him or do you just feel like it is a problem? The answer to that greatly depends on how you approach things. If he is okay with you being busy with work or whatever is keeping you away then there is no need to break up if he is understanding. Now if your relationship is on the rocks because of it then that is another story. Basically you have to figure out if the relationship is going to survive. As long as you are both okay with the decrease in time together then I say no. If he is complaining about it or it is really that upsetting to you then it might be worth taking a break at least. If you truly believe in your gut that it isn't going to work you already have your answer.

[Asker]

It’s definitely a problem !

[_Maya_]

I think you have your answer then. Sadly it might be in your best interest to end it if it is a problem. Sorry to hear it. Hope things work out.

[Asker]

I understand is perspective though and thank you.

[HollyK21]

I wanted to ask for specifics but honestly I don’t think it matters because at the end of the day, your schedule is going to work for the right person and it just doesn’t for him.

[Asker]

Thank you for answering my question…. I surely can’t be wrong for this can I …. We’ve been together 12 years and we do seem to argue about it a LOT!
I even have to alter plans with him which he complains about but it’s always for good reason..
my head tells me I can’t give the time always.. Am I really that selfish? I hate him putting me down like this and he threatens to leave me.. I think it’s a compatibly thing going on and clearly something isn’t right and you made a good point there….

[HollyK21]

I feel like once the threats start then that is your cue to go, because at that point he’s trying to manipulate and force in order to get what he wants. Not only is that selfish but it’s just wrong. 12 years is very long term, I’m sure you love him and cover the relationship, the idea of starting over in your age range is daunting. However if you two have grown apart and this is a constant area where you butt heads, I’d rather let him go to find someone with more time and focus on my own peace.

[Asker]

I don’t think he is wrong for wanting more time but I don’t think I am wrong for altering plans or cancelling.. And yes we do clash over it.. Of course I love him and 12 years to give up for good isn’t easy….

[Asker]

I think sometimes how is he going to bloody handle if i couldn’t see him for months cos couples out there are like that….

[HollyK21]

Definitely not easy, but that may be the crossroads you’re at right now. I can see both sides of frustration when it comes to setting dates and plans, even being able to hang out. I just don’t think you have the time to accommodate a relationship right now, and the fact it’s a long term thing has kept you in this one. Doesn’t mean it’s the best choice.

[Nikki1989]

It would be better for you and him if you would just end it.

[Anonymous]

I like what tye others said