Why doesn’t my boyfriend make time for me?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys, my boyfriend and i have been together for 8 years, we are both 31. he has been spending a lot of time with his friends lately and barely any time with me. he will work his hours and instead of asking me if i want to hangout he will go to his friends house to hangout and drink beer. granted i understand his job is physically and mentally hard. he’s a carpenter and works by himself. he has a small business all by himself. he does the work and gets the clients all on his own, i understand it’s hard. but what i don’t understand is why he hangs out with his friends more than with me? is it because i nag and complain to him too much? is it because he’s bored of us? is it a combination of both? i’ll admit that i do complain too much, i complain that we don’t do anything fun, we don’t go out on dates, that he drinks too much beer, that he spends too much money on beer and doesn’t save for our (if we do get married) or his future. i will also admit that i’m not confident in who i am. i don’t like who i am. i don’t work, i am in school (fully online) so i’m home all the time. the only time i get out of my house is to go the gym for an hour and a half that’s about it. i’m bored and spend a lot of time in my head. i hate it. i don’t go out much because my friends are always busy and most of them have kids, also i’m so insecure about how i look these days that i don’t want to go out. i’m too chubby and i had a hair transplant in November so i’m not happy with how i look. i’m a mess right now and i’m going crazy. anyway, why does my boyfriend hangout with his friends more than me?

[Anonymous]

There could be various reasons why your boyfriend is spending more time with his friends than with you, and it's important to communicate openly with him to understand his perspective and feelings. It's possible that he is feeling stressed and needs some time with his friends to unwind and relax. It's also possible that he feels like he can have more fun and enjoy his free time more with his friends.

However, it's worth discussing with him how you are feeling and expressing your concerns. It's important to approach the conversation in a non-judgmental and open-minded way, and to listen to his perspective as well. Avoid blaming or accusing him, and instead focus on how his actions make you feel.

It's also important to work on yourself and build your own confidence and self-esteem. This can help improve your own well-being and potentially improve your relationship with your boyfriend. Consider finding hobbies or activities that you enjoy and that can help you feel more fulfilled and happy.

Ultimately, it's important to maintain open and honest communication with your partner and work together to find a balance that works for both of you.

[Asker]

we have tried talking about it. sometimes he’ll tell me that he does love to be with me, but we don’t hangout and other days he’ll tell me that i’m an annoying b****

[Asker]

in a way i feel like i don’t at all make him happy or make him feel at peace when he’s with me. he also once told me that he walks on eggshells around me

[Opinion Owner]

Now that ain’t right or cool at all for him calling u out your name if so called love to be with you. It's concerning that your boyfriend has called you hurtful names and has said that he feels like he's walking on eggshells around you. This kind of behavior is not healthy or respectful in a relationship, and it's important to address it in a constructive and supportive way.

It's possible that your boyfriend may be feeling frustrated or overwhelmed by the pressure or expectations in your relationship, which could be contributing to his negative behavior. It's important to have a conversation with him about how his words and actions make you feel, and to express your own needs and boundaries in the relationship.

It may also be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor, who can provide guidance and tools for healthy communication and problem-solving in relationships. Remember that your well-being and self-respect should always be a top priority, and don't be afraid to set boundaries or walk away from a relationship that is not healthy or fulfilling for you.

[Finchie40]

Cuz it sounds like your boyfriend is distancing himself from you , the worst thing a girl can do to a guy is constantly nag at him , Guys usually can’t handle drama as much as a girl can handle drama , so he is choosing his friends over you because he feels all you do is nag at him , if you love your boyfriend and you want him to come to you and spend more time with you , you are going to have to stop nagging and start respecting and appreciating him , understand he probably has stressful days at work, so when he gets home from work he doesn’t want to hear his girl constantly nagging and bitching about things and adding more stress onto him , He is choosing the beer cuz the beer isn’t nagging at him and causing him more stress. If you want your boyfriend to start spending more time with you , your best bet is the get dressed up on a sexy lingerie , or sexy underwear and bra , wear a robe and greet him at the door with a beer and ask tell him I know you been working hard and I am so proud of you , I want to thank you for all you do for me and open your robe , take him to the bedroom and throw him on the bed , Give him amazing head , and then rock his world , after you finish tell him let’s go out just you and I Friday night and let’s have a great time , He will be spending more time with you after that , just don’t start nagging again

[Jazzy54]

Since you guys have been together for so long, why don’t you guys talk it out? That’s the best way to find out what’s going on and if you guys are still on the same page regarding where your relationship is going.

[Asker]

we have talked about it. he says he does like hanging out with me but we barely hangout

[Jazzy54]

I see. Do you feel like you guys are going in two different directions?

[Asker]

yes. it feels like our relationship is never improving because i’m in my head too much and drive him crazy where he doesn’t want to see me. then i complain that we don’t see each other.

[Jazzy54]

Hmm. I see. Well, I would encourage you to talk with him again. In the meantime, start hanging out with *your* friends. It might make you feel better. 😊

[dudeinohio]

Well, you need to sit him down and discuss it with him. Tell him what you told us.