What do you do when you are missing someone important in your life? What would you do if they just disappeared from your life?

[Hawkes_Lady]

This could be anyone that is important to you.

[Rosexøxø]

I can’t believe how many have said replace them or move on with zero context or acknowledgment for the weight of the situation lol.

Losing someone is expected to be difficult when they mean so much to us, and/or there was some level of attachment.

You have to consider it like this. The heart and brain acknowledges there is a void an emptiness and a loss. Something was subtracted, and instead of feeling bad until that loss comes back (since it won’t come back here), it’s better to make an addition to your life. It’s kind of like replacing but not really. Getting a pet or befriending someone new or volunteering for those in need, and be a good addition to one’s life. Setting to accomplishing something within that year and committing to it, can be the win that the person needs to replace the FEELING of loss and sadness with gains and happiness.

Of course take the time to grieve and acknowledge it, but set a time and then when the time is up move on otherwise anyone would want to just die along right with them since they wish to close the distance and they can’t bring them back here, one would wish to go wherever their loved one is, and that’s not good.

It’s not good because if the loved one is older, it means they had a limit of years to live and they spent their time. We have a limit as well. On average about the same. If we were to cut our lives short because of the tragedy of losing that loved one it would be unfair to ourselves. Why should they love their life and we don’t? We know they’d want us to. Imagine all the loved ones they had loss before, during, or after your age. They didn’t cut their lives short when it was hard for them. So let their perseverance and THEIR actions be what inspires you to do the same. We notice us missing them but we don’t notice how they lived a committed life. If we love them we should see the type of person they symbolize and respect that as well as maybe try to adopt some of those admirable traits.

If it was a younger person, gone too soon, or someone of a similar age, you have to know you’re strong enough to go on without them and it’s not a crime to do so. Many back in old wars felt they shouldn’t have lived because their best mates had died, but the same idea above applies here. They’d want you to live your life not end it. They’re not so selfish. Losing them is not a spotlight to your love for them- it’s a threat to your strength to move on, cope, and adapt. To persevere and you CAN handle life itself because you did it before knowing them and they’re not you. They’re not an abstract part of your personality- they were a friend, and they may have offered some good advice here or there, but they weren’t perfect either. You don’t need them to live a successful safe and happy life. They aren’t responsible for your happiness, and you weren’t responsible for theirs. You were two mortal humans with a set time, and enjoyed each other’s company on a particular part of the journey.

It’s like little kids on some adventurous camping trip. Eventually everyone’s got to go. So we move on and go where we have to go and desire to, and later as we grow we may encounter them again years later. See it similar to this. They had to go… and so do you, somewhere else, and you very well may see them years later as you grow older. Never let life cease from being exciting to you.

You may not be the kid with their whole life ahead of them, or college graduate, but you’re still a participant and you have the free choice to put anything on your canvas and write anything within your story. Make memories and live it up, and see your loved one in a good light. Consider adopting similar traits you admired in them and work towards that for yourself.

Maybe keep a memento from them, or a shared keepsake from the two of you from some crazy time and adventure, and definitely find ways to make additions to your life- short term or long term. Buy a new car? Find a person to befriend or help? Buy/ adopt a new pet and welcome them to the family? Of course just because they come into the family around the same time doesn’t mean they will replace the one who left, they will just be their own self and offer a new relationship of love to comfort us and one we can learn about and something new we can grow in- socially, emotionally, and mentally.

Find new ways to grow. You can’t stay stagnant.

[Rosexøxø]

Sorry for the long one; hope it helps. Best to you!

[Hawkes_Lady]

Thank you for your great words and thoughts, it helped to hear what you said. I appreciate the time you took to give me a great answer.

[williael]

I grieve and grieve. I try not to condemn myself for the grief. I move through it, not around it. I avoid those who don't understand. I write a lot. I cry a lot. I sit in the silence. I am a believer in God, so I cry to him and process my anger at him but I never stop talking to him. I stopped talking to him once and it worsened my life. The best thing is to do things (or not) at your own pace. And don't beat yourself up. Grief is hard enough without any extra layers of crap. Sit and stare if that helps you get through the day. Laugh. Cry. But don't question your right to do so. Some days, you'll ruminate. So what? I read once that "if the love was deep, you will have to let it go many times." Don't run from grief, or try to avoid grief, and don't bury it, because grief can only be buried alive. Distractions from it are necessary sometimes, but it will still be there needing to be acknowledged when the distraction is over. I hope you find peace as you relearn how to incorporate that person or their essence into your life in altered ways.

[laly520]

try to move on

[exitseven]

Somebody who was very close to me just died. He moved away 4 years ago and we only kept in touch with email. I know he was being treated for cancer but he told me he would be okay. I guess it came back. He never emailed me about how bad it was and nobody in his family let me know. I only found out because I had not headed from him in months so I poked around on the internet and found his obit. I am broken up about it. I am also pissed. He never let me know what he was going through Mostly I am confused.

[Hawkes_Lady]

I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I am sending you many warm hugs and healing thoughts.

[exitseven]

Thanks, I am pretty messed up.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sorry to hear about this, @exitseven. Horrible feelings and not much you can do to resolve them!

[butterly248]

🫂❤️ @exitseven

[exitseven]

@OlderAndWiser I think about all the stuff we did when we were kids I cannot help but smile but I still an shocked.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Anonymous]

I would move on to another important person in my life. If they wanted to be a part of my life still they would be, but they're not. Ergo I didn't really lose ANYTHING. Don't waste your time on people who treat you as an option.

[OlderAndWiser]

You don't really have any options, do you?

[smne35]

Could be a lot of reason why they're not in contact with you anymore. I mean I don't know if you 've done the necessary calling around calling friends family and if they don't know then you have to file missing person's report. But people disappear all the time , and just vanish for whatever reasons. Change their name, location and people. drop off the face of the earth but living with a different identity somewhere. All you can do is hope you hear from them soon but keep them in your heart and just keep on going with your life. Don't sit and dwell more than you must on it because you still have to live. I know it's not easy to do you just have to find strength to keep going. Maybe one day they'll show up. Decided out of the blue from missing you but unless it's an actual missing person like they went out for a walk and they never came back. And you file a police report at least that will give you some kind of idea of okay. At least I know they're they're missing but just not to contact you. I think that's more torturous, than just not contacting you anymore it's going to be hard. I've never personally had anyone go missing like that. You just have to be strong and keep going with your life and just hope and pray that they'll come back or contact you to put you at ease,

[GoodManDave]

With them just leaving... going incommunicato... not responding to anything? (not say, death or anything that makes sense) I'd probably periodically keep trying... like if it was family, I don't know... but friends... try to move on. I've had it happen a lot of times. There's not much you can do other than at some point, backing off and letting them be. That's their issue, more than yours.

I think it's happened way too much for me to get hugely upset about it. Most aren't really close enough as it is to be that sad about it for very long (their choice). I'll try to maintain the friendship, but if they're "too busy" then that's their decision, and I'm not chasing anyone down and begging them to be close friends.

[TonyV]

You can keep pushing till they get s restraining order if you really want, but no you have to move on, it's not fair, and its gonna hurt for what feels like forever.
You've got to destract yourself from thoughts of them with other people or things/hobbies. Mostly hobbies honestly, to much joy in things could easily lead to hoarding. Giving another person that much power over you again could lead to codependency and if they leave you are messed up again. As cliche as it sounds exercise is best.

[fantasticass]

It depends. If you think that they have harmed themselves or are in danger you can call the police department and they will do a "welfare" check to make sure they are okay. You can also do a police report that they are missing, you do not have to be a family member to report their disappearance.
If it is not for mental or health reasons, it could be financial. Maybe they owe a lot of money to the wrong people, or were involved in something that will cost them their life.
Or, maybe they are on a personal journey and the only option was to leave without notice. I'm retired law enforcement. I have found many missing people... some of them deceased, and some alive. If it's really bothering your spirit then file a missing person report, and hire a lawyer.
Or, you could sit back and do nothing, and just assume that this was their best option and hopefully you will hear from them someday... good luck with your decision ✌️🇨🇦

[Infinity_Soup]

Move on, wouldn't be the first (and certainly not the last). Life is like a weird stream. People are pushed and pulled by the current. Sometimes a water droplet never sees another again, bc they're moving in different directions.

That's not to say I wouldn't mourn the loss. But at some level I understand that I can't force a relationship that's destined for failure, or that the other wouldn't reciprocate.

Either way I'd be sad for a while, and let life pull me off of that sadness and into other things. Maybe distract myself w some games or something lol

[Steelcore5280]

Someone I was talking to and was getting very serious with just recently started ghosting me and is no longer talking to me for some reason.

As you can imagine, I'm pissed and a bit bitter. So I'm officially cutting myself off from dating and relationships for at least indefinitely. I've had it with shit going South on me.

[Hawkes_Lady]

@Steelcore5280 I feel for you, I really do. This is exactly what prompted this question. I was really quite happy getting to know this person. We had so much in common and then all of a sudden he just disappeared. He gave me a, "I'll always be your friend." And then poof, he was gone. And I just don't understand why.

[jazmiine]

Regret. I've focused on self development that I necglected family, social bonding. I miss them but I want to build my life too. If they suddenly disappear I would regret not attending their graduation, not coming home during holidays, not calling often, not sending them more gifts.

I don't know if I can take it.

[glennos89]

Most likely I would lay down in the same position baby's are lying in when they haven't been born yet while crying untill my body is dryer then the Sahara dessert 🤣🤣

Or perhaps I'm just making it all up to get some attention from other people I don't really need and deserve... 🤔

Whatever it might be... It always sucks to miss someone you hold close in your heart 😔

[Ryle96]

I’m currently experiencing right now and I don't know how to feel about it. 😩😭

[Hawkes_Lady]

I am so very sorry. Warm hugs!

[Horse-girl]

Go for long walks and think about them, hug my pets and if i feel up to it talk to my family about it.

[electromagnetic]

Death is inevitable though. So it’s just a matter of coping and moving on

[ShadowGirl7]

that has happened to me in many ways.
death - I had convos with them in my head, I talked as though they could hear me, and I cried. I thought about them constantly reliving the memories until I went numb.
Ghosted - I tried to reach out, but he just disappeared. I cried over him multiple times, but then I found someone who actually loves me and he doesn't hurt me any more.

[sean1234]

I'm not missing anyone, so in my case I have to find that "future wife" through prayer. Thats all I can do.

[TheorionMage]

Investigate the circumstances; if nothing untoward, respect their privacy and choice~ Circumstances DO change. We associate BY mutual choice.

[PeachyPie93]

I miss lots of people but I always get left behind them. So I chose now not to make anyone important in my life.

[lightbulb27]

that's the worst and it's reality for some. wouldn't wish it on anyone nor want to think about it.

[Smashingdoozy]

If they're alive I call them. Dead then I think about the memories I have with them and be thankful they were in my life at all

[Cutegirl06]

If it was my mom or dad I would be devastated. Same if it was my little brother and sister. I don't know what I would do?

[Insecure2]

I would probably be devastated and cry as much as I could.