My ex and I broke up a little over a year ago, and it was a mess. Admittedly I did lie to him about something, which led to it (and he admitted to withholding from me as well). We talked it out very recently, and his use of words have confused me. When he asked "Where do we go from here?" I said nothing because I wanted to get an idea as to what he was thinking. He said that we don't trust each other and we aren't honest with each other, so it wouldn't be beneficial. But turns around and says that we are both different people since the break up, and that he wished that I would have reached out to him during some really low points he was having, but acknowledged that he wouldn't have been too happy about it. Yet he couldn't look me in the eye when saying this (his tell when he lies). Then the entire time he compliments me, mentions moments where we dated, etc. When I was sick with an infection, a virus, and a 101 fever... he was there every day taking care of me. Even when I was sleeping, he was there taking care of me. Massaged my lower body to promote blood flow, set alarms to remind us when I needed my medication, sat and talked to me, made sure that I ate/drank water, etc. He's done and said things that he said before we were dating and while we were dating. I definitely want to get back together with him, and know that we'll be better than we were before. But I'm not sure if he wants to, and his pride isn't allowing him to say something? I am not sure in the slightest. And I want to build that trust and honesty between the two of us before we consider getting back together. Any answers and advice? If it helps, we were set to be engaged this year...
2 mo
Does he want to get back together? How do I ask if he wants to?
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reconciled relationships almost always fail, and the failure comes more quickly the second time.
Girllll, it sounds like he's got some real mixed feelings going on. On one hand, he's bringing up all the good memories and hinting at still caring deeply about you. But he's also hung up on the trust issues from before.
I think your best bet is to have an honest chat with him, just the two of you, and really get everything out in the open. Reassure him you're both different people now who've learned from past mistakes. Ask where his heart is - does he see potential to repair things between you if you take it slow?
You have to get past that pride and awkwardness to move forward. Maybe suggest taking some time to rebuild that friendship foundation without pressure first. Do low-key hangouts, honest conversations to strengthen communication.
Actions do speak louder than words too. Let your care for him during your sickness show you're all in if he wants to try again. He may come around once he sees your dedication.
Just take it one step at a time sis. Keep your guard up but give him a chance if you feel he's worthy of it deep down. You got this! Keep me posted on how it plays out.
he still have some feelings for u but I don't think enough feelings to consider taking u back
But would he over time? With more time together, talking, etc? He wants these things still. What does that also mean?
yes probably spending time together would bring him closer
as for now I think he isn't sure yet of the relationship