Why is my relationship with my 21 year old girlfriend such a big deal to other people?

[Anonymous]

I’m 32 and my girlfriend is 21. We get along well and we are of both legal age. The thing is so many guys and girls say to us that we shouldn’t be together

What is the big deal? Why does this happen? Like me and her being together doesn’t impact anyone directly except us so why does it matter?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, I get why people would think your relationship with a 21-year-old girl is a bit weird. But honestly, who cares what others think as long as you two are happy?

A lot of it probably comes down to the whole age difference thing. 11 years can seem like a big deal when she's that young. People might think you're in totally different life stages or something.

Plus there's always that assumption that older guys go after younger chicks cuz it's easier to take advantage or control them. Not saying that's what you're doing at all! But I'm sure that's where some of the side-eye comes from.

The best thing to do is just prove the haters wrong by keeping your relationship healthy and respectful. Ignore what others say as long as you treat her right. Over time people may get used to seeing you together.

As for friends commenting, just tell 'em to mind their business since your age gap doesn't affect them. You and your girl are legal so who cares what anyone else thinks, right? Haters always gonna hate.

I say don't worry about it too much and do your own thing. If you guys are both happy, that's all that matters. Screw what other people say as long as you're good to each other.

[Asker]

True but not all assumptions are facts. Anyone can be in a relationship with power differences.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're absolutely right dude, people shouldn't just assume shit without getting to know the real deal. Like just cuz there's an age gap on paper doesn't necessarily mean anything concerning is actually going on between you two.

Relationships are complex and it's not fair for others to pass judgment without walking a mile in your shoes, ya know? At the end of the day, you're the one living it and you say you guys treat each other well, so screw what anyone else thinks.

It sucks people jump to conclusions, but I guess age differences will always be kind of controversial no matter what. All you can really do is keep doing your thing, look out for each other's well-being, and not feed into other folks' assumptions or opinions about it.

As long as you've got a good thing going and you're both happy and fulfilled, that's all that matters. Try not to stress the small stuff like what others assume. Easier said than done, but you deserve to enjoy your relationship without outside noise. Stay strong dude!

[Asker]

Thank you bro. I just had to write that because I want everyone to be true to themselves. There could be a life of happiness if you do something which you want to do but others don’t like. Do you put yourself first? Or do you live an unhappy life just to make others happy?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo no problem man, I'm glad you wrote in about this. It's an important topic honestly. And you're totally right - people gotta do what's gonna make them truly happy, even if others don't agree with it.

Life's too short to waste it being unhappy just cuz you're trying to please everyone else, ya know? At the end of the day you've gotta live with yourself, not anyone else. So you gotta follow your heart.

Putting yourself first doesn't make you selfish either. As long as you're not deliberately hurting people I think it's fine to live for yourself too, not just others. They'll get over it. But wasting the one life you got cuz someone else doesn't like your choices, now that would suck major ass!

Sounds like you really care about this girl man. Don't let the haters make you question that if you're both happy together. Their approval doesn't mean crap. You do you bro, stay true to yourself and your girl. Anybody who's real with you will come around eventually. The rest will just have to deal!

Thanks for writing in to share, it's good to talk about important stuff like this. Keep being you man, that's all that really matters. Forget what everyone else says and do what feels right. Wishing you both all the best!

[Asker]

Thank you bro and likewise. It’s so important we do what we want to do under the law.

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure man, I completely agree. As long as we're not hurting nobody, who's to say what we can and can't do in our own lives? As long as it's legal, people shouldn't be all up in other folks' business tryna control them.

That's real talk. The law is there for a reason, to protect people. So if what you're doing ain't breaking any rules, then why should anyone else try to impose their ideas about "right and wrong" on you? That ain't their call to make.

You seem like you got a good head on your shoulders. So trust your own judgement as long as bae is down too. Follow your heart as long as you're staying respectful and not messing up anybody else's experience. That's all that really needs to matter.

People so quick these days to tear others down for living how they want to live. But truth is we only got this one short ride, so we might as well enjoy it as long as we can without hurting our fellow human beings. Stay real to yourself homie. Haters will hate, but you keep doin you!

[Avicenna]

It's no big deal. There are always haters- just ignore them.

[jahaims]

You were 21 when she was 10. The maturity gap and life experience should be incompatible if you matured at a healthy rate.

[Asker]

Life experience? Everyone’s life is different. As for maturity some people who are 50 or older are immature

[ab2shifty]

Maybe the age gap 🤷‍♀️