Should you blame yourself if you get cheated on?

Question

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I think if you are married and not having sex very often because the woman doesn't want to, then I think after a certain long period gas passed, he's going to cheat on you.
But had you fulfilled him sexually he might not have turned out to be a cheater.
Gotta keep your man sexually satisfied, even if you don't want to because you don't want another woman doing what you are supposed to be doing with him, then divorce him and say he was a cheater.
Tell the truth. You kept your legs closed too long and drove him away

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

the cheater made a decision

but still... in most cases, before it happened, we were warned by many events and decided not to pay attention to them... so it's good to be aware of what we were avoiding to see and don't make the same mistake again.

Finchie40 · Answer

Don’t blame yourself for someone else’s actions , Most cheaters point the finger at their partner because they can’t admit that they were wrong and the POS , it’s always someone else’s fault but never their own , if a cheater was so unhappy in their current relationship, then the should of ended that relationship immediately, but instead they chose to be selfish. So never blame yourself for someone else’s actions , it was their choice and their decision to jump in bed with someone else

Avicenna · Answer

Usually, no, it's the cheater's fault

NathanDavis · Answer

I would certainly assume my part of the responsibility in that situation yes...

first of all... I decided to be with the wrong person, so I would start there

but is not like I would accept it in order to excuse cheating no...

just, you know... don't trip again with the same building, lol

Billlewis · Answer

My position on this subject is wonderfully simple -- if the woman is sexually active outside her primary relationship, this should be viewed as either a neutral element or a potential catalyst for a substantial improvement for couple.

Conversely, little benefit is likely to be obtained by the male straying from the female. This is my opinion only.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

You have no control over someone's actions. Just your own. If some other guy's dick somehow slipped inside my girlfriend one day, I would not be at fault. She chose infidelity and I have been nothing short of great to her. So as far as I am concerned, I am not the bad guy.

tremendousfern · Answer

You shouldn't blame yourself, but you should take the opportunity to learn from it. Were there warning signs that you should have recognized sooner? Were there things you did that caused the relationship to deteriorate to a point where your partner cheated? Stuff like that.

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

I don't think you should blame yourself. You may want to blame yourself because it's easy way out versus seeking the reason that it happened or confronting your partner.
You can certainly blame yourself for avoiding the warning signs, and perhaps for some actions or inactions that you failed to do as a partner.

When it's all said and done, he or she she decided to cheat versus the two of you communicating.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

People usually make the decision to cheat for either selfish ego-stroking, or an escape from a relationship they feel trapped in. In either case, you can’t control how someone else feels, nor can you control their actions and how they would refuse to confront their dissatisfaction in the relationship and would rather just fuck someone else behind your back. If you claim that someone is responsible for being cheated on by their lover, then I don’t think you understand boundaries

AaronKrieger · Answer

To an extent, since there was likely mistakes you made that contributed to it. By the same token, I do think there is probably nothing you can do to stop it for the most part.

People who cheat usually have issues that make them self-destructive, which you cannot prevent. It is on them to fix that, but you can make mistakes that definitely increase the odds of it happening if they are that way.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

He shouldn't have cheated. But there are things that lead up to his actions, although he didn't do the right thing. If he wasn't happy in the relationship and he asked for things to change and you didn't do anything, you are also at fault. Some actions you did or lack thereof lead to him being unhappy with the relationship and trying to find what was lacking elsewhere.

Crankor · Answer

No, even if one non cheater gave them indirect reasons to, fact that a cheater is just too scared to discuss matter that make them unhappy in their relationship with their partner. Being comfortable in their lifestyle is a pretty dumb excuse if you ask me

LazerBean · Answer

TBH, it just depends. In general, no. But I've known people who have decided to date the local whore, despite all of their friends and family expressing deep concerns. In cases like that, yeah you have to take a bit of responsibility.

thegreenyogi · Answer

Absolutely not!! Cheating happens but it's not a fault to be attributed to one side or the other. Sometimes a relationship changes and some people are more likely to cheat than others. But it's nobody's fault ever.

Nikki1989 · Answer

People usually cheat when something is missing from their primary relationship. That is not an excuse to cheat, but yes, you can be partly to blame.

electromagnetic · Answer

Why would I? It’s not me who cheated and I didn’t tell them to run into someone’s else’s vagina. They cheated because that’s what they wanted.

techgirl7 · Answer

No. Cheating is a choice. People can choose to end their relationship or marriage instead of being selfish and hurting their s/o.

Fireguy17 · Answer

no, I never did, I was not the one who was with someone else wile married to them, or in a committed relationship with them. If things were that bad get a divorce or break up first.

bolverk · Answer

No - If your SO has a problem they should communicated with you instead of going off cheating. I've been there twice neither of them bothered to try to communicate, funnily enough they both seemed to be singing from the same script when they started with the excuses,

lilBigPotato · Answer

Obviously not. No matter what happened, if you want to fuck someone else then break up first

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on the circumstance but in the majority of cases I’d say both people play a part, yes. That’s not justifying cheating though, just pointing out that there are obviously issues around communication etc that aren’t being addressed.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

No. Regardless whatever has gone on the fault for cheating is on the cheater. They have a choice to end relationship it's not working for them

JacobJordan · Answer

It isn't hard to end the relationship first so no

Bricealan · Answer

My experience says yes, for not recognizing my partner was unhappy enough with me to cheat.

SolitarySolace · Answer

No? That would make no sense. Why would the one who was cheated on be at any fault for doing nothing wrong?

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nope. One can learn better what to look for, but the cheater is responsible for the cheater's actions, not the victim.

OtterMan68 · Answer

NO, never. If someone cheats, he or she had the oppotunity to break up but chose to cheat instead

genericname85 · Answer

well if you wanna be miserable and depressed for no reason, that's a really good idea :D

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Nope because cheating is never an excuse for anything done! Cheating has no reasons!

msc545 · Answer

No, of course not. You. Don't force the other person to cheat. They do it all on their own.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

No way. The cheater would make me feel better about myself because I'm glad to be not that person

only4me · Answer

If you haven't cheated yourself, you are not to blame. The guilt is obviously on mehr side. You dont deserve her bevaviour!

Dargil · Answer

Nope. Only cheaters cheat. If they want to cheat, they should find or show you the door.

douride2 · Answer

No it is the cheaters fault.

Libarena · Answer

Of course not.

exitseven · Answer

Nope, everyone has free will

laly520 · Answer

nope won't

Minahh · Answer

nope, always the cheaters fault

legalboxers · Answer

you couldnt keep your girl. So yes

Anonymous · Answer

Well... you chose them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

butterly248 · Answer

Yes :(

Likes2drive · Answer

Not really, that’s just how they are

Slim57 · Answer

Never

austinbooth · Answer

Hell no

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