I have been really sick past few days. My boyfriend doesn't seem to even notice. He just says sorry your not feeling well. Hasn't offered to get me anything or even hold me. I'm a big baby when I'm sick, it would be nice to get some TLC to help the process. I know women are usually more nurturing but, my dad always took care of me when I was kid and sick.
Aww man, that really sucks that your boyfriend isn't being more supportive when you're not feeling well. As a guy, I can understand sometimes we just don't think about those kind of things as much. But at the same time, when your girl is sick you definitely wanna take care of her, ya know?
It would be nice if he at least offered to get you meds or soup or something. Or just came over to keep you company and cuddle on the couch while you rest. I know when I'm sick all I wanna do is have someone look after me too. Your dad sounds like he really stepped up, so I can see why you'd expect that kinda treatment from your boyfriend.
I'd say just talk to him and be honest, like "babe when I'm not feeling good it would mean a lot if you could help me out a bit." Most guys just wanna make their girl happy and feel better, he prob just doesn't realize it's upsetting you. As long as you tell him nicely I'm sure he'll step up. And if not, maybe he's just not as caring as you need. But at least give him a chance to do better before you get too mad! Feel better!
Your boyfriend/SO and your DAD are not going to have the same response to you when you're sick — or with anything else. In a relationship you have to speak honestly with the other person and "train" them to know what you like with a combination of honest dialogue (examples: "sweetie, I'm not feeling well, can you please go to the store to get me ___?" or "I'm feeling so achy today, can you please rub my back?") and positive reinforcement (examples: "Thanks, sweetie, you're the best." or even some light moaning if he's rubbing your back to let him know he's doing a good job). Because most people (male or female) want that positive reinforcement, especially from our boyfriend/girlfriend/SO, this works really well.
Some people just don't know what to do when their SO is sick… so it's important to speak up.
If you do speak up and see that he's simply not attentive to you at all (because he claims he's busy with something that isn't actually critically important or he's just clueless to any of your needs in general), you should probably assess why you're in that relationship. (This sounds harsh, but you should be able to take care of one another equally, so if you see that's not happening… and you talk about it but it still keeps happening… then it's time to consider a breakup.)
have you explained to him its something you want?
its not natural to many people to do so unless you tell him. and then if he ignores to help you in a sustainable capacity (not necessarily waiting on you hand and foot, but at least putting some effort into eg. small cuddle sessions, helping you with water and painkillers/drugs when needed), then you have a problem.
If he loves you than yes he should , the same way you take care of him when he is sick , But understand most men aren’t as nurturing as women can be , so if he is at least trying to take care of you and showing effort to take care of you , then you really have nothing to worry about , but if he isn’t trying what so ever? than that’s a red flag that you should really reconsider on whether you should stay in a relationship with him , if he is ignoring you and distancing himself from you , that’s a red flag
Opinion
8Opinion
He's not your dad. He's not your best male friends in college. Not every male or female gets it or is otherwise naturally nurturing. Some need to be taught, maybe because they've never had it. Others, well, it's just not in them.
It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't think you're great.
But it's ok for you to wish he was better at this. Just don't hold it against him that he isn't.
Part of being a good partner is taking care of a SO when they are sick.
Communicate with him. He probably grew up without getting help when he was sick so he doesn't think anything of it.
So you want him to be exposed to your germs? You're not very nice or supportive.
your boyfriend is treating you like an equal. men don' tneed tlc when we're sick
Yess
Yes, of course.
It’s a nice gesture
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