What is the reasong of bringing up old stuff in a relationship?

[sophia]

All of a sudden he has started bringing up old stuff that we already talked and overcame. What can be the reason?

[Purpleronnie]

Clearly there could and would be need for specifics to understand more on an Individual basis but generally speaking I’d say that they think they are not being heard or they are comparing mistakes I. e remember when you screwed up helps create empathy for when the show is on the other foot. I guess it can also be about control “ you screwed that thing up so now I am the one that HAS to do this thing “


There are likely other reasons too but as I said they are likely more specific to the relationship dynamics

[V_Injector]

Because he gots to justify the new stuff he's doing or that old stuff is supporting evidence of new stuff you're slipping back into which would make it your fault.

[electromagnetic]

Sounds to me like the ‘talk’ didn’t help to calm his nerves about whatever it was you guys were having a disagreement about. Hear him out.

[Anonymous]

Talking and overcoming doesn’t necessarily mean resolving. I’d hear him out.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic case of the past refusing to stay in its lane, huh? Well, darling, when someone starts digging up the old dirt, it often means there's something new bubbling beneath the surface. It could be a sign of lingering unresolved feelings, or perhaps something in the present is triggering these blasts from the past. It's like the relationship's own version of a mystery thriller! It's essential to approach this with curiosity rather than accusation. Open up that communication line and dive deep—ask them, gently, what's really going on. Maybe they're feeling insecure, or there's an unresolved issue that's been eating at them. Remember, it's all about peeling back the layers, one heart-to-heart at a time. Who knows? What you find might bring you closer than ever. 😉

[Flatmanlewis]

Go away

[Chazmatazz269]

Obviously there was no resolution on his part. Every woman i have ever disagreed with just pestered me with her opinion and/or feelings until she realized i wouldn’t give in just because she has a vagina. There’s an insistence to be right that overcomes any desire for meaningful resolution. Every married man i know has failed to overcome this nearly universal female quality and settled on “Yes, dear.” or some facsimile thereof.
If your fella is digging up the past, he’s not done with it just because you are.

[Flatmanlewis]

One of two reasons: He’s not over the original incident, which is probably most likely. This happens a lot when something gets talked about but not resolved. Talking isn’t always solving a problem. Apologies may be owed. Explanations May be required. Promises may be necessary. Firm establishment of boundaries. Accountability accepted.


Second, it’s happening again or in danger of happening again. Sometimes assurance is all it requires.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Are you certain he overcame it? Because it seems like it's been eating away at him ever since it was discussed!

[DishLady]

Reasoning isn’t always a factor. Sometimes it’s just something that is still nagging at you and you mention it.

[Account]

He hasn't overcome those and he has major control issues. It is guaranteed.

[RavVid]

Obviously it is not overcome. He probably just gave up and you think it was overcome.

[Anonymous]

All of sudden? Are you sure? If so then I doubt he has got someone and so he is trying to breakup with you.

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds like he wasn't satisfied by the original outcome of those discussions.

[Anonymous]

Just because you decided it's settled doesn't mean it's settled. You don't get to decide that for him.

[lorenzomichael]

I don’t know why people do that. I always deny the shit or say it wasn’t me.

[dustybiker2]

Sounds like you came through it but he didn't.

[MsProsperity]

Because they’re not resolved

[DrPepper12]

He can't forget or hadn't really forgiven.

[LiamJHayden]

I would not tolerate that.

[RedInnocent69]

It‘s unresolved/still bothers you.

[boggboss]

He never overcame it

[Anonymous]

Because you pissed him off

[laly520]

he isn't over it yet